Mikey Mike was sure the girls simply would adore
Him if he smelled exactly like the Abercrombie store
So off he went with quest to win the hearts of maidens plenty
To secure the bottled smell that cost a pretty penny
He doused himself but the honeys noticed not at all
Except to say “Oh gosh it smells exactly like the mall!”
And Mikey was frustrated so but just figured he’d be
A charmer with the ladies if he doused more heavily
And soon the smell did permeate his bed sheets and his clothes
Until it was the only scent that dared come through his nose
His food would smell of his cologne it was all that he tasted
And it came to the point that applications were just wasted
For everybody knew that it would be the fires of hell
That would rid poor Mikey Mike of his incessant smell
Which may as well have had the title of Eau de le Sewer
And friends they come around quite less and girlfriends even fewer
Until one day a girl came round who did seem rather fetching
Who walked so proud on Mikey’s arm without even retching
At first no one could fathom what in Mikey she did see
And wondered if her nostrils weren’t working properly
But take a few steps closer and one could do more than assume
Her lover’s scent was blocked out by her own vile perfume.
That smell really is awful, I can’t imagine how bad with a bucket of it! But maybe I can now thanks to this next big hit of yours.
Eau de la Sewer indeed…
Oh yes, and believe me, this is all based on some all too true circumstances!!
Eau de le Sewer……ROFL!
Glad you liked that one!
I have “Mall Memories” of my kids and their teenage years. ..Abercrombie, Gap, Hollister…The over powering aromas, the over the top prices too!
Oh yes, tell me about it! I really wouldn’t even enter an Abercrombie store, the smell, the loud music, the annoying people. In fact, I read an article that Abercrombie is losing a ton of money because the atmosphere just makes people want to leave! The prices are outrageous too!
That’s why I don’t wear cologne. I prefer to let people be turned off by my natural bitter smell.
Yes, It is rather vinegary…
I’ve tasted vinegar once(by mistake of course). It was pretty bitter.
Was that a good thing?
It was certainly not. But I did get a taste of the bitter at an early age.
Pierre la Pou Pou!!!
Yes, kind of like Pepe Le Pew and Penelope Pussycat!
Yes, them! Hahaha! My mind makes up its own words sometimes!
Close enough for rock n’ roll!
Fascinating…I did once work with a smartly dressed twit who stunk! Then along came the firms Christmas party. He and his wife attended…they both chucked up something rotten yet had know idea it was thus! You see there is someone out there for every one of us. Regards, ‘Mike’
Absolutely! I can picture the two of them in front of a mirror gathering and spraying on scents willy nilly. Their senses have probably all but shut down!
Poor Scents debatable thingy!
The only scent I’ve worn that seemed to be attractive to women, was chocolate. 🙂
That’ll work!
Ah! Very clever indeed.. 🙂 and how fortunate for him and her as well.. 🙂 Amazing poetry.. loved it!
Yes, they certainly found each other! Well a key for every lock, right? Thanks so much!
And what a way to find each other, still.. to be together is better than not 🙂 you’re very welcome!
How you sew your vocabulary together always baffle. Great job.
Thank you! A lot of internet searching sometimes!!
🙂
This poem made my eyes water and sinuses seize up in panic … attack of the over-perfumed!
I love the ending. They are perfectly matched … to the detriment of everyone else around 🙂
Sorry to have caused an allergic reaction! Unhappy ending for you, happy ending for the characters!
Love conquers all {sniff}
Hello 🙂 I nominated you to do the Love in 10 Sentences poem challenge, if you want to give it a try check out my post for details, here: https://876lover.wordpress.com/2015/03/05/love-in-10-sentences/
Thank you so much! I actually already did that challenge but I appreciate the nomination!
Ooh ok 🙂 can you send me a link? I want to read it
Oh yes, of course!
https://rockandrollsupermom.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/love-schmove/
OH OH OH, this is SO funny! Great job again, Marissa! *holding nose* LOL Love, Amy
Might not be a bad idea to purge the scent and then bring some of your sweet flowers in! Thanks Amy!
But a smell that strong? Pee-UUUUU! I gag at times passing people with heavy perfume on. That stuff lingers and lingers and lingers. I’ll take my flowers any day thank you!
Time to water down the Aqua Velva
English leather was the thing back in my day,or high karate,May be old spice
Not really sure what they were wearing in my day but I often went home smelling of it!
Takes me back to the 80’s and the overuse of Polo.. followed by Drakar Noir… retching as we speak…
Oh, absolutely! I researched some pf the worst smelling brands for this one but decided to leave them out in the end (except a&f). Think both of those were on there!
Only goes to prove there’s somebody for each of us.
Yep, maybe he was on to something!
This was the unpredictable ending I’d expect from you and yet I didn’t see it coming. But remember your promise to me? We agreed you’d put a little asterisk at the bottom and then write what inspired you. I am really curious about this one!
ps. Regarding this clever title – – I know you wanted to throw people off to think “Alcoholic” but I went straight to Genie from Aladdin.
Stephanie, i want you to know that after you asked me to put the asterik with the inspiration after each blog, i did it for the next three blogs i wrote and i don’t think you read any of them, so i stopped doing it! Anyway, I’m always honored to have you read my blog and understand when you can’t.
OMG! My mother had hip replacement surgery and I did miss a ton so now I will hunt them down. I wonder if people were like –“why does she think we need to know this?” Because your one nosy follower wasn’t there to comment on it. Will find…. Thanks for the compliance!
Maybe. A lot of people just commented back on the note, really. I guess it gave them an aspect of the blog to take in beyond the poetry so it really was fine. Just when I saw you weren’t on much I thought I might as well stop.
yes, it’s all about me, I suppose?
So….this just goes to show that there really is someone for everyone. 🙂
Spritz and walk in to it. Do not apply directly!
Yes, and most importantly, the bath tub is for washing off, not putting on!
This is terrifically on-point in this house where neither one of us can take much perfume. My husband’s eyes run from it actually and he never wears the stuff, thank God. We were out to eat recently and the waiter must have been the muse for this poem. He was redolent of something powerful.
Yes, I particularly dislike it when I’m eating. It seems to overpower the taste of the food. There is a foreign community that is prevalent where I live (I won’t mention which one) that likes to douse in colognes and perfumes, and every time I go to the school yard to pick my daughter up, it positively stinks!!
Omg, you can smell it in the school yard? that’s some pretty powerful aqua-velva!
A match made in P.U. heaven. Great one, Marissa. I’ve smelled both types. Oy.
Yes, a rather toxic combination!
Bwaahahaaahaa! This reminds me of every 14 year old boy I ever knew! 😀
Yeah, really. When they start young, they really don’t know how to control it!