New Video “Cool” by The CheeseBergens

Friends! It is a monumental day in CheeseBergens history! Please join us by watching this video premier! Take a moment to indulge in this guilty pleasure and watch myself and my family as we make fools of ourselves! Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you…”Cool”!

 

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I Suffer In Silence

My daughter’s birthday hand in hand,
With memories of Legoland,
A broken shoe, a bag forgotten,
Could not make my memories rotten.
A hotel room where it would be sheer luck,
To escape lice and bed bugs,
And my patience wearing thin,
With all the lines that we stood in.
But all this would barely matter,
My daughter’s happiness I would rather,
Nor did it dampen the spirits of our foursome,
Lest we think it any less than awesome.
But my soul with Satan I’ll secretly haggle,
To see this place drowned in Kragle.

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That’s My Girl!

Oh, my sweet dear darling child,

Never could my imagination be so wild,

As to think heaven could bless me,

With a child quite so lovely as thee.

What wonderful thing did I do or say,

To have you as a gift for Mother’s Day,

And as I look at her and all her charms,

I long to hold her in my arms.

Her face so sweet, so little and cute,

But all she says is “I have to toot,”

And then produces an odor so foul,

All I can say is “That’s my gal!”

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Happy 7th To My Sweet Anjeli-cat!

Potty Mouth

When my children were born,
I tried to be caring,
And I swore I would.
Swear off swearing.

But my anecdotes,
Just wouldn’t work,
When I could call my boss,
No more than a jerk.

And the F word,
Couldn’t be duplicated,
In all it’s glory by using,
‘Fornicated’.

The stuff on the floor,
Became just that – stuff,
And the expression shoot,
Not quite strong enough.

It was difficult to give people,
Insulting one liners,
Capped off by calling them penises,
And vaginas.

So I’ll go with ‘fuck off’,
Rather than ‘beat it’,
And hope that my children,
Never repeat it.

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Napowrimo Entry #7

A Message To The Other Woman

I don’t think I can take it,
I really had enough,
You keep calling the house,
But when I answer you hang up.

My husband says you’re just a stupid kid,
And that you will stop soon,
But you never hang up on him,
Though sometimes he takes it in the other room.

I wonder if you’d just hold on,
For a great need has arisen,
And I have so much to say,
If you would only listen.

I’d tell you about my children,
They are healthy, they are happy,
And I would tell you how very much,
Those kids love their daddy.

I’d tell you how joyful we once were,
Such a perfect match,
And how everything will be better,
When we get over this rough patch.

I’d tell you how it feels,
To sit around and wait,
For him to come home,
When he says he’s working late.

I have faith in something bigger,
And I can still believe,
He wasn’t lying when he told me,
He would never leave.

I can tell you about the dreams we had,
And all the things we did,
But oh why would I tell you all that?
You’re just a stupid kid.

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NaPoWriMo Entry #4

Why Hannah Can’t Spel

Some children might be good at math,
And think it not so telling,
When they make a mistake,
Like a minor misspelling.

But I thought it rather sad,
And by no means funny,
When on my neighbor’s door hung her daughter’s sign,
Saying, “Welcome Ester Bunny.”

Spelling’s not always an easy task,
So by no means should we berate her,
I think the problem begins,
When we congratulate her.

If you celebrate her mistakes,
Your efforts will be foiled,
When you find yourself a victim of,
A child that is spoiled.

And if you are too careful ‘bout,
What will or won’t upset her,
Soon a grown woman will be,
Wishing all a Happy Ester.

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/poetry/

I Don’t Feel Like Blogging Today…

I don’t feel like blogging today,

Don’t feel like being witty,

I thought of the things that I might say,

And nothing’s sounding pretty.

 

I don’t feel like blogging today,

Not feeling inspiration,

I looked at the calendar and it said,

I’m due for a blog vacation.

 

I may just sit on the couch all day,

And pretend that I’m a queen,

Who has nothing better to do with her time,

Than watch Oprah and read magazines.

 

I may take the kids out to the park,

But whatever’s in my future,

I can guarantee that it won’t be,

Spent at some dumb computer.

 

You can’t get me to do it,

No matter what you say,

Nohow, no who, nowhere no way,

You’re gonna see me blog today.

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