I’m sitting here sewing the American flag,
I know this can’t be good,
Some old dudes trying to kiss me,
And his teeth are made of wood.
I start to make an excuse,
Like maybe my corset’s to tight,
When all of a sudden there’s a loud noise,
And an explosive flash of light…
And oh hello what have we here?
Now aren’t you a charmer,
A dishy Roman Emperor,
In a golden suit of armor.
And I’m digging the black eyeliner,
And the mod wig is just so,
The chariot is awesome,
It’s the snake that has to goooooo ….
And I knew I’d feel the karma of my evil ways,
But this really is too much,
Now I’m being charged with witchcraft, treason,
And being promiscuous.
Then they say “Off with her head!”
And in my final hours,
I know I’ll have the last laugh,
When I haunt the Bloody Tower.
Another flash of lightning,
Still in a haze of confusion,
To find myself in this stylish beehive wig,
And quite an ample bosom!
They say the people have no bread,
Is this something I should be preventing?
I say “Let them eat energy bars,
That cake looks awful tempting!”
But just as I’m digging in,
I feel myself transporting,
And the next thing you know,
I’m back in 2014.
But all this time travel,
Was an important lesson learned for me,
Never again in my life,
Will I take LSD.