Hey! I’ve been away for quite some time and I probably won’t be coming back on a regular basis any time soon. I’m just here for shameless self promotion.
Even though I am coming up on 50, I am still actively making a fool of myself performing in my family band The CheeseBergens. In fact, we have just released a new album and if you could take a listen, it would mean the world to me.
You can download the album for free at our Bandcamp link.
We also have a lyric video below. 
Hello followers and friends! If you are reading this, you probably already know that I have passed on, which is precisely why I haven’t been around the blogosphere much to read your blogs lately. As I look into this batch of molten chocolate that will seal my fate, I contemplate the meaningless of life and all that comes with it.
This video is one of the few things I will leave behind to mark my legacy. If you like or comment, my soul may become light, giving me one last chance to ascend to heaven. Otherwise I am doomed to rot in hell for all eternity, but who am I to make your feel guilty?
It’s been a while since I’ve written for Geeks of Doom, but when they posted something about needing Onion style articles for April Fool’s Day…. I couldn’t resist. Here is the link to the article:
http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2017/04/01/nj-metal-band-fires-drummer-metal-afd
BTW, the picture is of my son’s band, but the article is fiction. What can I say? I needed an image and…where else was I gonna find such an appropriate bunch of goofballs?
My new Geeks of Doom article is live. I really found this woman fascinating and love what she is doing to bring back the community and for the music scene. Please click through and let me know what you think.
My second article for Degenerate News just got published. Please click through and show some love for the band The Two Tens.
TMChrisBarber2016
Thanks to those who read my Regrettes article yesterday. I’m still writing for Geeks of Doom as well. Here is my most recent article on designer, dancer and rock star Kelly Maglia. Hope you enjoy!
http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2017/01/16/spotlight-on-local-kelly-maglia
New year, new gig! I’m pretty excited about writing for this new online magazine, Degenerate News. Here is the first article I wrote for them. The members of The Regrettes actually all went to rock school with my son and are now signed to Warner Brothers so it’s pretty exciting. They also happen to be a great band.
Please take the time to read my review or at least click through to show there is readership, ha, ha! It will look good for me! Thanks! And let me know what you think of The Regrettes and the article.
http://metalmeat.com/thecheesebergens.html
On an endless quest for blatant self promotion, I decided to add this link. It’s an interview on Metal Meat with The CheeseBergens. I think it’s really quite funny, especially the part where he rags on us for being old, ha, ha! Anyway, those of you who have the energy to follow the link, can (hopefully) enjoy a fun read.
I used to wait til midnight then it was time to rock
Now I’m frightened if a band goes on past 10 o clock
Pre Chorus:
So find me a nice corner
Safe from the mosh pit
Throw an MC over me
Whatever you see fit
And you can call me old
And you can go ahead and mock
Just tell everybody else
How hard I friggin rocked
Chorus:
Cause it’s hard to get your kicks
When you’re waking up at six
Call me old, call me a poseur
But just wake, oh wake me, wake me, when the show is over
Well I have seen Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones and more
But every time I just end up passed up on the floor
Pre Chorus
So put my somewhere safe
A little out of touch
If they ask just tell them
That I drank too much
Fill me in on details
So I can give my take
Of how it would have been if I
Were actually awake
Chorus
Cause it’s hard to get your kicks
When you’re waking up at six
Call me old, call me a poseur
But just wake, oh wake me, wake me when the show is over
Bridge:
Well it used to be I didn’t even wake up until noon
And I didn’t leave my house until the rising of the moon
But now that kind of living well it’s showing me no mercy
Especially when I am having dinner at 4:30.
Another, and quite possibly the last for a while…for The Angsty Old Ladies!
The chain mail bra the leather skirt
I tug and pull and kvetch
And after all the time gone by
I’m lucky these things stretch
Cause I will not reveal my weight
And I won’t tell my size
But I’m trading in my mom jeans for
Some skinny fit low rise
Chorus:
I’m squeezing into spandex again
I’m having a night out with my friends
I’m thinking that I’m cool but maybe no one’s fooled
I’m squeezing into spandex again
Lie on the bed and summon family
Tightening my grip
And tell them all come on and help me
Getting these things zipped
Then stuff my legs in platform boots
And help me get upright
I’ll hobble round and not sit down
For the rest of the night
Chorus
Bridge:
I’m an aging metal momma
Lookin for a some brand new tricks
And I’m getting down in leather
Right until the lining rips
Gotta anaconda smile
And it’s all around the town
And I’m a hottie with a body
Least until I turn around
I’m a leather and lace lovely
I’m hood top dancing baby
Til the fuzz will lock me up because
They’re thinking that I’m crazy
All you young ones step aside
Because I’m joining in the ranks
And I hold it all together with
A badass pair of Spanx
Rockin’ out for the Angsty Old Ladies!
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 