I Got Mail

I tell you folks I have to be
The most popular girl
Every day I get emails
From all over the world

Megan writes to say she has
The best thing for my wrinkles
John is urging me to hook up
With hot Christian singles

Ellis wrote to me today
He’s asking what I think
Of the pictures posted there
If I just click that link

As I click it’s quite a scene
That I do behold
I think she’s awfully flexible
And maybe a bit cold.

Don says I should sell my house
Highest prices paid
Harry says I qualify
For financial aid

Megan says I got the job
I don’t think I applied
Lena said she’d like to be
My mail order bride

Then of course there is my friend
Dear old Mr. Bello
I hope his uncle’s health improves
For the sake of the fellow

But of course I’m helping out
Anyway I can
Transferring funds from Africa
To Uzbekistan

But of all these people
He’s the only that writes back
I respond to so many it’s
A bit hard to keep track

But still it is so wonderful
Heart warming and exciting
To know these people care for me
Why else would they be writing?

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65 thoughts on “I Got Mail

  1. It’s amazing the crap we find in our inbox, isn’t it? I like the ones that come in saying that I have some inheritance in Africa and I’ll need 1,000.00 to free it up. What? lol I clicked on your image, but it doesn’t resize. 😦

  2. … and now I’m getting flight confirmations and notices of parcel delivery in addition to desperate letters from Prince Bobblehead in Nigeria.
    I’m still waiting for the millions to be deposited into my bank account as promised πŸ˜‰

  3. I love the ones on erectile dysfunction. Since I don’t know what that means, I ignore it. But there is a Prince in Nigeria who needs my help. But the one I really hate is the ones I get from this guy named Uncle Bardie. Does anybody know who that is?

  4. One of your better ones gal. Not that your others aren’t better than average, it’s just that your average is better than average and this one being better is better than better as opposed to other less better productions like… thank you.

    • So glad that you like my rhymes
      Phil, I say you’re just too kind
      The compliments make me delirious
      But your condition sounds quite serious
      And if you end up doing something horrible
      Just know I’m in no way responsible.

  5. What? No prince from Nigeria? Or lost grandchild in Jamaica who’s been arrested and needs bail money but doesn’t want you to tell their parents? Who happen to be your eight year old child? I’ll hook you up and send them your email so you aren’t left out. πŸ™‚ don’t thank me, I don’t mind. πŸ™‚

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