A master of all awkward lines,
In party conversation,
Where it seems the more I talk the farther,
I stray from salvation.
Another backwards compliment,
I guess I should be shunned,
For not just saying “You look great!”
But “Where’d you get your work done?”
And then into an occupied,
Bathroom I did walk,
Without seeing the sign that said,
“Door doesn’t lock, please knock!”
And when I finally get my turn,
I look in the mirror with grief,
No one had been kind enough to point out,
I had spinach in my teeth.
But lest that went unnoticed,
While milling ’round the place,
I had the misfortune of backing into and shattering,
A very expensive vase.
And as the party guests quieted down,
And all were awkwardly staring,
With narrowed eyes and curled lips,
(Perhaps you’d call it glaring),
Maybe crickets should be cued in,
To fill this void I made so,
As I wonder in my mind,
“Should i stay or should i go?”
When I decide I’ll take this stupid,
Party for all it’s worth,
Clear my throat and inquire,
“I was told there’d be dessert…”