Put number 9 in right slot A
Slide left and turn around
But now the thing is backwards, loose
And somehow upside down
My husband’s cursed the parts, China
The less than fit construction
But still insists he doesn’t need
To look at the instructions
Now veins pop from his forehead an
alarming shade of blue
Since I don’t seem to know what thingee
He’s referring to
And righty tighty lefty loosey
For those who are deft
But somehow in there left was right
And then right became left
And then there is a crank, a turn and
One dubious crack
And there my husband stands somehow
With both fingers in tact
He gloats he grins he boasts to me
“I’d say it’s looking fine!”
Though on the floor lies parts 15
11 and A9
I smile blankly as he shifts
The table into place
And never tell him it was meant
To have been a bookcase.
Haha… I know this all too well…
Yes, I thought most would find this relatable if nothing else!
Got to love the DIY stuff! Homer is a great touch…
The curse of IKEA…not that I would know, the missus does all our handiwork.
Ikea? I wrote that he curses China, not Sweden. Ha, ha…substitutes are perfectly acceptable.
‘Substitute my coke for gin’…not really I hate both.
I hate put together furniture
I once did an either apt. with that kind of stuff
They do it on purpose
To see who will crack first
It’s a government conspiracy…I knew it!
I could never figure out those things! Haha! You do need another table, yeah?
Oh, I’m the worst…and to my credit, my husband is much better than I am. I think what we actually need is a bookcase though, ha, ha!
Ah, Homer’s barbecue grill… We call that art! We have sculptures littering our backyard. Thanks for the laugh!
Oh, great idea! If we don’t get it assembled, it just becomes modern art! I like it!
Haha…. awesome! Thank God by today I never found something left after I was seemingly done!
Yes, I would be counting the minutes until it fell apart!
And we don’t need no damn maps either or need to stop to ask for directions.
I know…I know all about it!
Oh, God this reminded me of the times I have assembled things and to find I had completed the project with pieces still left over. I avoid some assembly required. Ugh
Yes, usually a lot of assembly required is a bit more accurate!
Exactly. And I am not always the best at following instructions. Guess that is the rebel in me.
You bad boy you!
Liked this a lot! Resonates.
Thanks Paul! Yes, I guess most can relate.
No matter how hard I try, there’s always parts left over. 😦
Does anything ever fall apart? I would think it would.
Amazingly not.
I am beginning to think they had parts left over when they assembled me.
No doubt!
“Some assembly required” brings out the caveman in us all. “Me. Hammer.Now. Grunt”.
Yep, really not fun when you are looking for piece A35.
That’s what junk drawers are for!
Must have been from Ikea.
Right, except they’re cursing China, not Sweden, remember? Ha, ha!
huh, I am lost? but don’t worry, it’s ok, I am used to it.
Don’t follow me, I’m lost too!
Oh yes, I hate that large, fold out paper and bags and bags of parts. All those screws, and sadly yes, a few parts are invariably left over 🙂
A dreaded sight for sure!
I’ve led a charmed life. I’ve never actually had to assemble anything. Past boyfriends, husband, sons have all done a wonderful job of assembling anything I needed … with all parts.
Surely the fact I just wrote that will come back to haunt me ….
I’m sorry Universe, I didn’t mean it. Please don’t punish me.
You’re very lucky Joanne! Throw some salt over your shoulder!
Bahahaha!! I SO know about extra parts and unplanned results. You rock, rocker mom ❤️
I bet you do! I’ve seen your fingernails, remember!
Oh my…you should see them today😝😝
Brilliant! Haha. You are such a diplomat, Marissa! Just stack your coffee table books on top and it can be a multi-use piece of furniture. Then down the track, repurpose as firewood!
Sounds about right to me!
Seriously, this should be a song. I can so relate. And it already has directions for the first steps. My empathy on this one.
Yes, relatable for sure. You know, all my poems are really songs. Some just don’t have the music behind them yet, ha, ha!
This does not surprise me at all. 🙂
I love how you take humorous everyday occurrences and create such brilliant pieces. Nice job!
Thank you Chester! I’m enjoying your poetry as well!
Nice twist at the end… and ‘thingy’ is an acceptable word. So much so I just typed it and have not gotten a red line under it.
The wonders of the modern dictionary!
Too funny!!! And just more then a bit of truth to this. Thank you for the laugh, Marissa! ❤
Oh yes, I’d say! Thanks Amy!
I am laughing at the bookcase gone “bad!” 😀 This may work out with furniture, but kids cry when they don’t get toys that work! 😉
Oh yeah, that sucks! On Christmas morning it seems there’s always at least one!
My good fortune they have people called carpenters here! 🙂
Ha! Probably the cost of one would triple the cost of anything purchased at Ikea!
Labour is relatively cheap out here, M!
Well, hopefully the living is priced to match!
Bwaahaaahaaa! Sounds like you went to Ikea! (I hate it when that happens.) 😉
A lot of people said that but I don’t think this is Ikea specific. It seems this happens every time there is assembly required!
What did he say about this? =) It’s a relief my guy has magic hands – fixes everything I break.
My guy is better with these things than I am (not saying much) but by the end he still needs his mouth washed out with soap.
Ha ha ha..laughing so hard..Brilliant Marissa 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Thanks Nimi! Always happy for a laugh!
Very funny!! 🙂
Some people are not meant to build anything!
Like me!