Smithson Syndrome

When I began blogging, Sean Smithson was one of my first followers. In fact, even when my blogs were absolute crap, and almost no one liked them, there was Sean Smithson, among the brave few, giving validation to my pathetic publications.

But who was this Sean Smithson? Some creepy stalker? Well perhaps…

But actually, it turns out Sean had a great blog of his own where he would write sordid accounts of his pathetic love life, steeped in humor and self deprecation. Well, the truth is, pathetic may be not quite a strong enough word to describe Sean’s love life. Perhaps, it might be better to say that reading his blog was a bit like watching a car crash, you know, the kind of thing where you want to turn away but you just can’t. And, in case you are not quite getting the jist, if there was a behavioral or personality disorder for people who simply did not have the dating gene, it would probably be called Smithson Syndrome.

Anyway, every time Sean published a blog, it seemed as if the entire blogging community would come out to read what new, horrifically embarrassing episode Sean was ready to unfold, while trying to top each other with clever comments, all under some sort of ruse that they would actually win a date with the author; although why anyone would want to earn this distinction is beyond me.

Recently Sean published a book, “How To Lose A Girl In 10 Ways”. To return Sean’s months of dedication to my blog, I swore I would be the first to read and review the book, but it seems that it was rather difficult for me to get my hands on it, so many other bloggers beat me to the punch. However, after reading much of the book, I was inspired to write a poem in Sean’s honor:

I heard he was smart and soft spoken,
And even a bit of a looker,
Maybe it’s the liquor but here’s the kicker,
He can’t even score with a hooker.
But saved by a sense of humor,
Of which many have an appreciation,
He turns into gold the stories he’s told,
While wallowing in self deprecation.
A subject he’s quite fond of,
And perhaps they were trying to kid,
When told in effect, he could write a book on the subject,
But that’s exactly what he did.
And though I always root for the underdog,
And have a strong appreciation,
A change in luck might totally suck,
For where would he get his inspiration?


A classic tale of boy loses girl, boy loses girl, boy loses girl…this book rocks!

Read Sean’s blog here:

Buy Sean’s book here:

18 thoughts on “Smithson Syndrome

  1. I loved this post – laughed harder and harder, the more I read. Great poem at the end too – I must go looking for more of your poetry – hilarious!!! 🙂

  2. That’s an excellent idea. What is the saying? When life gives you lemons? He’s certainly made his lemonade with his experiences.

  3. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Thank you Marissa. And this line: “A classic tale of boy loses girl, boy loses girl, boy loses girl…” I wish I’d used that for the back cover!

    Would it be too much bother if you could leave something on Amazon? I think you’ve summarised things pretty perfectly for readers.

  4. color me: (plaid, but that’s besides the point) intrigued! Clicking over terectly–but foist: love the meter in the rhyme! Fresh!!

    plus your irreverence is “where’s the holy water” good. (an aside: I actually have a bottle of that atop the hutch…for the life of me not sure why I have it at all, but it’s prolly a good thing–oh wait. It’s just Sparkletts…:)

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