The Last Oreo

Oh never mind the moaning and
The groaning in the hall
That’s only our ghost Doris who
We do not mind at all

We tried and tried to help her I’m
Afraid we did our best
But we were not successful in
Putting her soul to rest

So now she haunts our hallways
Every midnight without fail
So please sit down and I’ll relate
Unto you her sad tale

Doris rushed through every meal
Her passion quite overt
But not for her dull food she yearned
But for that of dessert

Perhaps a habit she picked up
Eating her mother’s cooking
Who told her she should eat her meat
Lest she could have her pudding

Or maybe lots of siblings who
Left her feeling bereft
If they took desserts before hers
And so there was none left

Or maybe she thought that her cakes
Her ice creams and sorbets
Would one day magically grow legs
And up and walk away

So Doris in her kitchen stood
Like one facing starvation
With food not really eaten one
Might call it inhalation

And little did she know she would
Meet her maker that day
At the hands of a chicken bone
That went down the wrong way

They found her two days later
Rigor mortis had set in
One stiffened hand poised on her throat
One on the cookie tin

And now she wonders through the halls
Focused, on high alert
Her soul will not be laid to rest
Until that last dessert

Of course we tried to help her sure
No reward would be greater
We offered every sweet and tart
In our refrigerator

But soon we realized our attempts
Would only go to waste
Doris no longer had the means
To chew, swallow or taste

And that my friend does mark the end
Of Doris’ sad story
Condemned to spend eternity
In Dessert Purgatory


72 thoughts on “The Last Oreo

  1. I LOVE that photo!! I think you might have just described what will likely send me to my death too …

    One stiffened hand poised on her throat
    One on the cookie tin

    … just 1 more …

  2. Ah, all over food, sad to say. Poor poor Doris. You have spun magic here again, Marissa. Just magic. I’d like to think I will go with camera in hand which of course will give me a one way ticket to Paradise. Of course. Hehehehe โค

  3. I’m sure chocolate will do me in. Your entertaining poem reminded me of friends of mine who lived in Northridge many years ago in a haunted house. Every couple of days, a woman ghost would appear in the hallway and make her way past the living room into the kitchen. It got to be such a regular occurence that the husband used to say, “Well, there she goes!” Maybe she was searching for dessert.

  4. I love sweets, but I’m pretty sure my ghastly hand would be forever reaching into a popcorn bowl. Yep, I’d haunt for one more mouthful of buttery goodness.

  5. I have heard that there were both cathartic and heretical elements related to chocolate…
    Now I have no doubts about it… โ˜บ๏ธ Very well done, dear Marissa
    Sending best wishes. Aquileana ๐Ÿ‰โ˜€๏ธ

  6. “One stiffened hand poised on her throat/One on the cookie tin” I read that line right before I saw the picture… I almost spit my coffee out. And, dumb question, I want to know where these poems start. A word, a phrase, an idea? Hrm?

    • Well, I’m trying to do horror themes for October so I asked my kids for inspiration. My son told me to write one about a killer who was killing for chocolate but it wasn’t working that well in my mind so it morphed into this.

  7. I apologize for my tardy appearance, Marissa. Oh oh! Dessert Purgatory would be my nightmare final resting place! I love my sweets and love the signage which says, “Life is Short, Eat Dessert First” or the ladies who ask to have a silver spoon put into their coffins. I have known of one “real” person named Jane when I was an activities director at a nursing home from ’94 to ’99. She asked that the family have the memorial service in the dining room and they provide desserts, some sugar free for the diabetics. It was a sumptious feast of delectable choices, Marissa. I have asked to be cremated and if the kids have a memorial service to have something like dear Jane’s “addiction” final desserts buffet! I am not making this one up, ha ha! (As we have had to have Micah say this more and more, since his wild imagination goes all over the place! ๐Ÿ™‚ )

    • That’s a terrific idea! What better celebration of life than to eat desserts. Well, you will have to let your family know who I am because I would definitely be attending such an event, unless I go first, in which case, you are welcome to mine. My, this conversation got eerie quickly but, you know, dessert, right?

      • Can you believe my late observation of this nice idea of inviting each other (many, many years from now) to each other’s dessert memorial buffets. I think we should have a chocolate fountain like they have at weddings, with cut up pineapple slices, strawberries, raspberries, angel food chunks. . . So they may eat a bit of fruit for their healthy futures. โ™ก

The Blood Trail Starts Here...

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