Where have all the flowers gone?”
My neighbor she did query,
But to ask such a question,
Perhaps she should be leery.
So used to always seeing those,
Fresh flowers in my house,
And never even knowing,
What they were all about.
For each time my husband wronged me,
A new bouquet was given,
Which never served to improve my mood,
Or acknowledge all was forgiven.
And no matter their state of beauty,
I received them with a glower,
To think that he could buy me back,
With a simple bouquet of flowers.
And as time went on,
In a marriage that was faltering,
Never did he improve upon,
This very paltry offering.
A sad attempt to hide a state,
Of cheating, stealing and lying,
All represented in a bouquet,
Of flowers that lay dying.
Till one day at his pathetic gift,
I flew into a murderous rage,
And if you want to know where all the flowers have gone,
They’re lying on his grave.
I thought that you were going all Pete Seeger on this one. 😉 It’s sad that a blossom has to die when a man does something wrong.
No, not quite Pete Seeger, I’d say. Yes, those poor, poor flowers!
I thought maybe he’d get the boot and the flowers would get the bin but wow that got dark fast. Well, at least the flowers were repurposed!
That was my original spin when I got this prompt, but the rewrite took me to places I was not predicting!
Very interesting!
Brilliant! Your rhyming works perfectly and the final stanza made me laugh.
Thanks so much!
Cute. What a tragic way to fall.
Thanks Moonbear!
wow, this is another really good one! Multiple plot twists!
Thanks Bill!
Good one! 🙂
Why thank you!
Well I didn’t see THAT coming! 😉 And apparently he didn’t either!
Poor guy…well not really…
Hahaha. I mean…..now come on Marissa, let’s be respectful. !!!!!! 😉
Excellent work, as always. But now I’m more scared than ever to sleep on the other side of the bed from you! If anything happens to me people…
Who is this man?
Ha!
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
GOOD—-!!!!
SORRY FOR BEING A “CRY BABY”,,,but after my last two poems, I needed some humor. Thanks! 🙂
Not at all. Glad I could provide a laugh!
(Big Smile of Relief!!!!!)
Not sure if you are kidding or not…love this poem though.
Neither am I!!…Definitely made to be humor, if a bit black. Thanks so much!
Ooooo! So devilish and delightful!!
Thank you!
Snazzy! I don’t know why I was thinking it, but I was. I’m all about tit for tat, so I’m not complaining here.
Thanks Yeshu!
Well, you done done it. I couldn’t help myself. You got me laughing. Since turnabout is fair play, I pass this one on to you: http://unclebardie.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/why-did-god-give-me-one-big-mouth-to-stick-my-two-feet-in/
Thank you Don! I will check out your site!
By the way you do know why the chicken crossed the road, don’t you? To get the hell out of Iraq.
Funny. Hopefully just a joke…
A joke?? No, I actually did murder my husband and I’m getting damn good at hiding the evidence, don’t you think?
It would be really funny if he wrote a response poem on his blog
Funny enough, my husband’s blog actually took off a bit. He was writing blurbs about metal bands and a friend of mine from Brooklyn who has an online fanzine asked him if he’d like to be a contributor, so he’s writing for her now. However, because of that, he can’t really do his blog any more other than posting links to the articles he’s written for that site. Small price to pay for increasing readership by about 20,000. The site is called Geeks of Doom, BTW. Relevance? That I don’t think it would be appropriate to blog a poetic response there!
That’s really cool. I’ll look up the site.
fantastically evil ending. 🙂
Thank you Christina!
That escalated quickly! I liked the rhymes but (if i may give some perhaps insignificant advice because this is what yeahwrite is for right?) I’d try keeping the same amount of syllables (or almost) for every second line, it might make it a little easier to read 🙂
Feel free to criticise what I wrote if you have any ideas for improvement.
Definitely appreciate the criticism. Meter is probably my biggest challenge as it is at times, difficult to maintain the ‘story’ whole also maintaining meter. I will check out yours soon, thanks.
It all looks easy but the hardest is when you have a certain number of syllables for each line and in the end everything has to make sense! I don’t know if you’ve ever tried Shadorma (it’s a form of poem, I only learned about it recently), the first time I tried was hell and I had three syllable lines all over the place! The second time was a little bit better, I suppose it comes with practise 🙂
Good luck with the poetry, hopefully it’ll get easier.
This is totally clever! The flow was great and the end. Ha! Maybe I’m not supposed to laugh but It was great!
Not at all. Glad I could make you laugh!
So well written!! I’m super impressed by this one.
Thanks so much Genna!
This was so good, Marissa!
Actually, it reminded me of a dear friend who always posts pictures of her bouquets and then tells me later why she received them in the first place. A bit bittersweet all the way around and you captured it perfectly.
Michelle
I’m so glad you liked it!
This was great! I knew a lady whose husband did something like this (fur coats, a new car, etc) and the prose made such a serious topic a little more fun.
Thanks Brie! I feel sorry for your friend but at least she got cars and fur coats instead of flowers!
I don’t know how you manage to keep topping yourself. This may be my fave of all. I am going to put a link on my advice column post where dying flowers were mentioned and share it on facebook. I think you need to be freshly pressed on a daily basis.
Thank you so much Stephanie! I so appreciate your linking to this. It’s quite an honor!
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Aiiii! Dumb flowers deserved it. Nice one.
Thanks Sparrow!
This is tremendous.
Why thank you!