A lovely young girl will not fail,
To get caught up in fairy tales,
But can you even imagine this?
To be the characters’ psychiatrist?
To hang with them each day of the week,
I say the prognosis is bleak.
The Little Mermaid has a poor body image,
And I’m afraid she is a hoarder,
Then over to old Snow White,
And the 7 Personality Disorders.
And just when I thought my day could get no worse,
It really is not good,
To see Eeyore depressed and Pooh binge eating,
Over in the Hundred Acre Wood.
Olaf from Frozen is delusional,
We had to coax him away from the fire,
After trying to convince poor Pinocchio,
About the dangers of being a compulsive liar.
Belle has Stockholm Syndrome,
For Sleeping Beauty it’s Kleine-Levin,
Alice in Wonderland is BPD,
And the Red Queen suffers manic depression.
Will Tinkerbell ever be happy?
For her the future looks dim,
And don’t even get me started on Peter Pan,
Who has a whole syndrome named for him.
And so we reflect on these suffering few,
And label them hero or villain,
All carefully planned yet we can’t understand,
The neuroses of our children.
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 
I’ve always wondered about the mind set of the various Prince’s in some of those tales like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty being smitten as they were with women for all intents and purposes ‘dead.’ Can’t be normal can it?
Darn, I knew I forgot the line about Prince Charming being a necrophiliac!
Boy does he need help or arrest.
Yeah, I’m glad you had Peter Pan in there, otherwise I’d have to say these are some pretty sad role models for our girls.
Wow, I didn’t even think of the possibility of being chauvanistic in my characterizations. I guess once you start thinking about what’s going to rhyme and who has what disorders, the character’s gender is the last thing on your mind. I’m glad Peter Pan ended up in there to, although I have to admit, it was just happenstance!
Oh this is ABSOLUTELY fantastic!!!! One of my little scribbles for future blogs is “Fairy Tale characters get diagnosed!” If I do it I will have to link to this amazingly done poem!!
Ps. Will you ever disclose your secret of writing such memorable zinger closing lines??!
I’m glad you liked it! I often come across blogs that I follow where the writer hit on a topic I had thought of doing, or even had done. I guess it is a part of following like minded bloggers. As far as my secret, really not much to it. I think it was Joyce Carol Oates who said something like, ‘never start a story unless you have an ending’. I quite agree. It’s all about writing backwards.
ahhh, when I write screenplays, I start with my ending but I cannot seem to do it with blogging. I admire this skill.
Excellent! Glad to have all this out in the open finally! I knew I wasn’t the only one that felt this way!
Yes, they are all exposed!!!
But…..but…..I like the music!
This was fantastic!
You are excused! Thanks Colleen!
😉 You’re so good to me.
Brilliant and hilarious! And your knowledge of psychiatric disorders is suspiciously impressive.
Why, what are you trying to say?? (Truth is, this one took a bit if internet research.)
Sure it took some research! You mean like reviewing your personal records?
Very funny dude!
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
HEAVENS TO MERGATROID…WHAT ARE YOU DOING—DASHING THE DREAMS OF ALL US FORMER CHILDREN????? 😀
LOVE IT!!!! LOL You totally got them all spot on! Disney characters make ME crazy!!!!
So it’s not just me!! Thanks Wanda!
Old pure snow did have some baggage now did she, I believe you mite have something there
Yes, well they’re really all just batty, aren’t they?
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OMG this is brilliant! Just popped over from Mama MIck. No wonder my son never got into Disney flicks. As hard as I tried, he never liked the classics, and wouldn’t watch them.
You (or he) could be on to something. All of these kinds or fairy tales can be frightening if you look at them too closely. Thanks for stopping by. Any friend of Mama Mick’s is a friend of mine!