While mowing the lawn the other day,
I thought I’d do a favor,
And give a little trim,
To the garden of my neighbor.
But rather than thanking me
My neighbor was on guard
And asked me what the hell I thought,
I was doing in his yard.
Regardless of my intentions,
He told me just to cease,
“Is my garden not looking good enough to you?
I’m calling the police!”
And though my first try was a failure,
I would not be beat,
When I attempted to help a little old lady,
Walk across the street.
She hit me with her purse,
And screamed at me to stop,
As all people whipped out their cell phones,
And proceeded to call the cops.
But onward with my mission,
When a little child I did spy,
Standing there all alone,
With tears coming from his eyes.
I asked him if he was lost or sad,
Or if there was anything he needed,
But along came his mother who said,
“Are you some kind of pervert? Beat it!!”
So off I ran as fast as I could,
But before it all was through,
I heard the sirens wailing for apparently she,
Had summoned the men in blue.
So if your looking to do a deed of kindness,
Some small act of charity,
I hope you won’t hesitate to donate,
To my legal fees.