He said he resembled Brad Pitt somewhat
More like Nick Nolte in his mug shot.
And I wonder if that’s his real hair or his real teeth,
Or if he really likes listening to music and long walks on the beach.
He says his Rolls Royce is in the shop, and it’s just bad luck,
That we have to drive around in this Chevy pick up.
He said he was 34, looks more like 43
And if he’s rolling in the cash, why are we at Applebee’s?
And now he’s standing at the door, attempting a seductive grin
I suppose he’s hoping he’ll be invited in.
A door slammed in his face may be all that he deserves
But I think instead, “What the hell, I’ve done worse.”