Everybody hates me, nobody likes me, I’m gonna eat some worms…oh, hello there. Sorry I didn’t see you come in. I was too busy wallowing in self pity. Why, you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask? Well I’m going to tell you anyway. Although I write blogs that I think are funny, witty and topical, it seems my comments, likes, and general readership are diminishing.
Before I continue, I’d like to thank everyone who has made it on this emotional journey with me to the second paragraph. After all, cry and you cry alone, right? For the few of you who have remained, sorry, you must be feeling awfully embarrassed, face palming yourself and thinking, “oh no, she did not just go there.” And admittedly, this may be the bravest, or stupidest thing I have done as a blogger, but I did put a lot of thought into this publication. Why, just last night I asked my 6 year old daughter if she thought that it was ‘too much’ for me to write a blog about why no one is reading my blog. She just shrugged and said, “No one’s gonna read it anyway”.
However, there is a light at the end of this tunnel; a hope for salvation. Yesterday, I read a post by http://thephilfactor.com/
about how every time he uses Justin Beiber as a subject for his blogs, he gets a bunch of hits. So, as I embark on the depressing task of compiling a list of possible reasons why no one is reading my blog, I will attempt to use the name Justin Beiber as often as humanly possible. #justinbeiber
1. I’m not funny
2. I’m not witty
3. I’m not topical Justin Beiber
4. I’m too old
5. WordPress simply does not have enough room for another satirical middle aged mom
6. I’ve offended everyone who has ever read my blog
7. All of my followers have a money sign in their blog name Justin Beiber Justin Beiber Justin Beiber
8. I’ve never been one of the popular kids, why should now be any different
9. I don’t write enough blogs about Justin Beiber