Jewish Guilt

Guess I was expecting it,
It finally came to pass,
When I was dropping my son off,
At his music class.
I bent down to kiss him,
When it became quite clear,
The boy had turned his head,
And I was now kissing air.

But I guess I could have foretold,
That soon would come the day,
He would become embarrassed,
By his mother’s PDA.
Although a little warning,
Might have been enough to please me,
I tell you there’s no way,
He’s gonna get off easy.

So I got to thinking,
That he might prefer,
Me to act in the following way,
The next time this occurs.
I’ll smush his chubby cheeks,
I’ll muss up his hair,
And if at all possible,
I’ll lift him in the air.

I’ll tell him to eat his vegetables,
I’ll tell him to behave,
I’ll say, “What if the next time you see your mother
She’s lying in her grave?!”
And as his cheeks are turning red,
And with heat start to burn,
I’ll grab a hold of his little head,
And I’ll hold it firm.

I’ll plant a juicy one on his nose,
And on his cheek another,
And maybe next time he’ll think twice before,
Refusing to kiss his mother.