Jewish Guilt

Guess I was expecting it,
It finally came to pass,
When I was dropping my son off,
At his music class.
I bent down to kiss him,
When it became quite clear,
The boy had turned his head,
And I was now kissing air.

But I guess I could have foretold,
That soon would come the day,
He would become embarrassed,
By his mother’s PDA.
Although a little warning,
Might have been enough to please me,
I tell you there’s no way,
He’s gonna get off easy.

So I got to thinking,
That he might prefer,
Me to act in the following way,
The next time this occurs.
I’ll smush his chubby cheeks,
I’ll muss up his hair,
And if at all possible,
I’ll lift him in the air.

I’ll tell him to eat his vegetables,
I’ll tell him to behave,
I’ll say, “What if the next time you see your mother
She’s lying in her grave?!”
And as his cheeks are turning red,
And with heat start to burn,
I’ll grab a hold of his little head,
And I’ll hold it firm.

I’ll plant a juicy one on his nose,
And on his cheek another,
And maybe next time he’ll think twice before,
Refusing to kiss his mother.

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42 thoughts on “Jewish Guilt

  1. Haha, poor boy. It’s rough. Though if this were classic Jewish guilt, wouldn’t you wither away slowly, muttering loudly of the pain of being a mother to that thankless boy, the boy you raised from nothing who now won’t even give you a tiny kiss on the cheek, even that one-second token of affection, who is embarrassed of his poor mother who would give her life for him? But it’s okay, you’ll keep driving him around and cooking him dinner, even with no thanks. Very effective, that guilt ๐Ÿ˜› Also this poem was really fun and you definitely should do that to him! Ha ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Every mother’s right. My mother about once a month would whop me one on the backside. I’d ask, “What’d I do?” She’d say, “That’s for those things I don’t know about.”

  3. I always say. What’s the problem? Afraid of my cooties? Because sweet pea, it’s too late for that – you are laden with my cooties. Besides, I am your mother and if want to kiss you, I am. I earned the right the day I labored you into this world;). Btw – this speech works, usually they are in such a hurry to shut me up, they let me kiss them and they run away;). Uh, mine are soon to be 20 and soon to be 17!!!!!!!

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