Friends! It is a monumental day in CheeseBergens history! Please join us by watching this video premier! Take a moment to indulge in this guilty pleasure and watch myself and my family as we make fools of ourselves! Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you…”Cool”!
Hey people! My band, The CheeseBergens has entered a contest for Band of the Month on Metal Devastation Radio and we need votes! To avoid gratuitous self promotion, I’ve decided to also write a poem to help promote the cause. A lot of my blogging friends already voted, I know, and thanks so much to those who did. Here is the link:
http://metaldevastationradio.com/battle
And here is the poem:
If you vote we’lll have a chance
If you vote, I’ll do a dance
Or if you think I’d better not
If you vote, then I will stop
If you vote I’ll kiss a frog
If you vote, I’ll like your blog
Leave messages and you can boast
Marissa commented “Great post!”
And voting isn’t just for you
Your aunt can vote, your mother too
And if they think the format’s foreign
Just log on and you vote for ’em
You only have to do it once
Perhaps we’ll be band of the month
We’ll thank the little people too
And then you know that we’ll mean you
If you vote I will pretend
That you’re my very best of friends
I’ll give you stuff and rub your shoulders
Least until the month is over
P.S. By the way, voting is ongoing until the end of April 2017. If you are reading this blog before the end of April, you still have the opportunity to vote, so please do. It’s very much appreciated!
My second article for Degenerate News just got published. Please click through and show some love for the band The Two Tens.
TMChrisBarber2016
http://metalmeat.com/thecheesebergens.html
On an endless quest for blatant self promotion, I decided to add this link. It’s an interview on Metal Meat with The CheeseBergens. I think it’s really quite funny, especially the part where he rags on us for being old, ha, ha! Anyway, those of you who have the energy to follow the link, can (hopefully) enjoy a fun read.
It started when my mom had a middle aged crisis
Should have seen a shrink, left to her own devices
She was gonna rock n’ roll just like me
Now she’s embarrassing herself for all to see
Chorus:
We’re the
CheeseBergens coming to your town
In a broken down school bus
CheeseBergens coming to your town
And the Partridge family has nothing on us
I know you think my sister’s cute but oh guess what
Take my word for it, she’s a freakin’ nut
My dad is kind of cool but sometimes he’s a bummer
I guess that’s okay because he’s just the drummer
Chorus
And me, I guess it’s kind of cool to play some music
Though it’s kind of a drag with the parental units
Still I’m gettin’ out and gettin’ all my kicks
Though it’s kind of impossible to pick up chicks
Hello and Happy New Year to you all! As a way to kick off the new year, our family band is launching a Three Songs In Three Days Campaign so prepare to be bombarded. Here is the first of three, and I believe I have not yet shared these lyrics with you so…added bonus! The song tells the story of how the wackiness all started…well, more or less…
Don’t ask me why I titled this blog Locked and Loaded…other than that the guy I was writing about has the last name Gunn. That was actually my original title for the article but thankfully, the editor decided to change it at the last minute, sparing me some embarrassment, yet, here I am embarrassing myself just the same. Anyway, some of you may be interested in this one as this guy not only managed to end up playing with his idol, Marky Ramone of The Ramones, but also ended up publishing a book without even trying. Some people, am I right? Well here is the link.
Also, fun though this column may be, I am running low on people who have an interesting story and are willing to be candid with me, from the hard rock, punk or metal communities. Go figure, right? Anyway, in the unlikely event that you know anyone who fits this bill, send them my way, thanks!
We all knew Zack was one bad punk
His mohawk was the flyest
His jacket bore the latest bands
His spikes stood up the highest
But one day we were hanging out
And vibin’ on Joe Strummer
He said he loved The Clash but man
He couldn’t name the drummer
It took some years to live it down
Punk friends left Zack rejected
So Zack soon took a different form
He came back resurrected
His mohawk he would grow out long
His plaid pants for spandex
Cause it was heavy metal for
Which Zack was now obsessed
But soon the whispers came about
In those small vicious circles
Zack didn’t know the seventh guy
Who sang lead in Deep Purple
Then indie, Zack in hipster phase
With beard found things ironic
Next goth then grunge then new wave and
Just briefly electronic
But each time someone sniffed him out
Twas something not quite kosher
For Zack was neither metal, punk
But simply just a poser
Zack still knows naught bout music but
I guess it’s no big diff
Since now he listen to Ms. Spears
Bieber and Taylor Swift
And wears a 3 piece suit to work
Like some hot shot breadwinner
But really does the 9-5
Employed as a sign spinner.
Inspired by a blogversation I had with Joanne and My Life Lived Full.
She thought she’s do a solo project
Thought she’d lose the clowns
Who stifled her creatively
And only weighed her down
Regurgitated some old riffs
And no one would be wiser
If she added drum machines
And a synthesizer
Wore a see through jumpsuit that
Was made of fishnet mesh
Sequined grapes covered her crotch
Some pasties at the breasts
Learned some simple hip hop moves
To keep up with the fad
Hired dancers that seemed not
To make her look too bad
And even though not needed they
Thought it most opportune
To make it more commercial by
Adding some autotune
And when they’d ask ’bout her new stuff
She’d call it country funk
With classical and jazz thrown in
Of course a bit of punk
But soon enough the jig was up
As she climbed to the top
She’d given up, surrendered to
Be labeled simply pop
And in just a few years from now
Your kids prob’ly won’t get
The irony of what they find
Scrolling the internet
And finding the old pictures will
They ever understand
Why that pop star looks just like the girl
Who played in that rock band
|
So over the weekend Suzie81 wrote a blog about another blog, 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23. I had never heard of the original blog, but apparently, the girl who wrote this blog got called a slut and a whore for writing about alternative activities she would partake in rather than getting engaged before turning 23. Also, apparently, this girl’s blog went viral. In the meantime, I can’t seem to get arrested in this town. So taking the point of view that all publicity is good publicity, here’s my list but it’s late so I don’t think I’ll get to 23. Bring it on bitches!! 1. Sleep with at least 10 people http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/ http://suzie81.wordpress.com/2014/01/04/23-things-you-should-actually-do-before-youre-23/ (blogged, trashed, revised, reblogged, thank you) |
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 