Love Schmove

The way she puts up with his morning breath
The way he puts up with her indecisions
And when they swore that they would part at death
Did they consider bodily emissions

The way his underwear stays on the floor
The way her voice is just a bit too shrill
The way Saturday nights became a bore
And then he asks her if she loves him still

The way she rolls her eyes, screws up her mouth
And moves a little closer on the couch

I’d like to thank Christy Birmingham for challenging me in the Love in 10 Sentences challenge. I honestly thought I’d never write a poem about love.




Cheap (Parody of Radiohead’s Creep)

When we were in the restaurant,
Couldn’t look you in the eye,
Did you see those prices?
I wanted to cry,
Can anyone afford this?
That I really doubt,
Think I’ll skip this meal and,
Put a down payment on a house.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

I bet they’re small portions,
I bet they’re a gyp,
If I have to pay for this,
I’m not gonna tip.
Did you bring your wallet?
Did you bring some cash?
I think they we might just,
Do a dine and dash.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

We’re running out the door,
We’re running, we run, run, run, run,

I can’t believe we did that,
I can’t believe we had the nerve,
They’ll probably post a picture of us,
That says ‘Do Not Serve’.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

Thanks so much to my son Jesse for helping me on guitar and vocals and making me sound so much better than I would otherwise. I love you baby!

The Kids Will All Write Submission 2

Well I guess anyone who has not heard about my The Kids Will All Write Challenge by now must be living under a rock. But for you subterranean dwellers, it’s all about encouraging our children’s creativity by publishing their writing, artwork, and even music videos! (which I will then republish)

Blogger Phil Taylor and I have a lot in common. We’re both originally from New York, we’re both unbelievably hilarious, and we both have sons who play music. Here is an awesome mash up by Phil’s son’s band Nothing Personal. Please enjoy!

For more info on Nothing Personal check out Phil’s blog at

P.S. This weekend I posted two reblogs, both of which received a tepid response. This leads me to one of two conclusions:
1. No one reads reblogs
2. No one reads my reblogs
Because of this, all The Kids Will All Write Submissions will be published in their own posts and, I will probably never reblog again.

They’ll Probably Kill Me (A Music Vlog Starring Moi)

A music vlog dedicated to all the women who feel like they have to be everything to everyone.

I ain’t gonna do the laundry so there
My husband will probably kill me
He won’t have no clean underwear
I know he’ll probably kill me

What do I care? Not a lot
I’ll just put on something hot
My husband will probably kill me today

I burnt the dinner again today
My kids will probably kill me
It was frozen pizza anyway
I know they’ll probably kill me

If they’re mad or if they’re hurt
I’ll just give them chocolate cake for dessert
I know they’ll probably kill me today

Wrote something dirty on Facebook today
My mom will probably kill me
I’m a big girl but anyway
I know she’ll probably kill me

I don’t know but I have a hunch
If I try to be nice and take her out to lunch
My mom will probably kill me anyway.

My Mom Will Probably Kill Me

Another one from my son Jesse saving rock and protesting homework…one kid at a time!

Crazy Little Sister

This is a song that my son performed at his School of Rock Acoustic Tuesday performance. He was called up last minute when one of the other kids didn’t show up but despite him not quite being prepared, I still think he managed to shine through. Re my post ‘Calling All Rock Stars’, I am looking to my son to save the future of rock n’ roll…one kid at a time!