Stupid Punk Song (CheeseBergens’ Video Release)

 

Hello followers and friends! If you are reading this, you probably already know that I have passed on, which is precisely why I haven’t been around the blogosphere much to read your blogs lately. As I look into this batch of molten chocolate that will seal my fate, I contemplate the meaningless of life and all that comes with it.

This video is one of the few things I will leave behind to mark my legacy. If you like or comment, my soul may become light, giving me one last chance to ascend to heaven. Otherwise I am doomed to rot in hell for all eternity, but who am I to make your feel guilty?

https://www.facebook.com/TheCheesebergens/?ref=bookmarks

Do It With Cheese

There really ain’t no other way I like to grill it
When I get some frozen patties in my skillet
I’m down to eat a salad or scarf up grease
But there’s just one way to serve it that’s gonna please
I don’t care if it’s in slices or an easy squeeze

Just do it- but do it with cheese!

Now you might say your lactose intolerant
But I say just suck it up or you can go get bent
Cause if your tummy hurts then I say “oh please!”
Go wash it down with Tums or some anti freeze
Theres just one way to serve it that’s gonna please

Just do it – but do it with cheese!

When they see me comin’ they don’t need to guess
If I want some cheese with that cause the answer is yes
I need the gooey stuff and that’s for sure
And I don’t care if it’s costing me 50 cents more

Cheese is the stuff of life and you can’t refute
If you think you’re gaining weight then stop eating fruit
Cause life is too short to sweat the calories
So you best start clogging up all those arteries
Live fast and die of cardiovascular disease

Just do it – but do it with cheese!

Hello friends! I’m sure you were all waiting with bated breath for this last installment of our Three Songs In Three Days Campaign. Fun factoid!! Due to some technical issues this song almost was not released today!!! Lucky for you, we had a last minute edit that saved the day. I know, imagine you, all bummed out for the weekend because you were waiting for this song and couldn’t be sure if you would ever hear it!!

Well, here it is. This one was published before as a poem but now has music added, so PLEASE LISTEN!! Come on people, I can tell how many of you are listening and it’s a lot more than those who are stopping by to like or comment…although the fact that you are enjoying the lyrics is appreciated as well….but we work hard on this stuff!! This is another track with my daughter on vocals and you know she’s a newbie at this so all feedback is appreciated, especially the good kind!! Okay, without further ado, The CheeseBergens’ lifelong motto…Do It With Cheese!

I Wore Red To Target

I wore red to Target
Not the best idea
I wore red to Target
And everybody near
Asked me “do you work here?”
Said “can you help me miss?”
Come on don’t you know
I can’t take much more of this

Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target

Tried hiding in the bathroom
I thought that would be safer
‘Til someone said “hey miss
We’re out of toilet paper!”
If one more person bugs me
I swear I’ll flip my lid
This woman came up to me
And that’s just what she did

Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target

I could have gone to another market
I could have worn blue or green
But I had to go to Target tell me what did it mean
Did it mean did it mean
Did it mean did it mean

I made up some fake discounts
I gave her wrong directions
I told her there were frying pans
In the electronics section
Then I felt so much better
And everything was fine
Until when I discovered
I was in back of her on line

Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target

This is another poem that I published many moons ago but added some lyrics to make it in to a song. It also happens to be the first recorded CheeseBergens song that my 9 year old daughter sings. Let me know what you think.

Also, the music is free to listen to, but if anyone is so inclined to make a donation, all funds will be given to the Ovation Music Fund, a nonprofit dedicated to helping underserved kids pay for music school tuitions.

http://ovationmusicfund.org/

What Would Lemmy Do?

This is another poem I converted into a song for my family band The CheeseBergens. You can see the lyric video my husband made here. It’s pretty funny!

Our ode to Lemmy Kilmister, in loving memory:

Lemmy he don’t really walk on water
But he just might sleep with your daughter
And gonna save your soul
He might save rock n’ roll

He came to earth on a motorcycle
And when he did he chose he disciples
Then they went to rehearsal
Philthy Phil and Wurzel

What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever he’d do, he’d do it better than you

Lemmy will save us from terrorist attacks
With just a pipe and a shot of Jack
He don’t use no nukes
He wears his Daisy Dukes

And Lemmy he might never make it to heaven
He’s got a Marshall amp that goes to 11
Try nailing him to a cross
And he’ll tell you to get lost

What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever it is, he’ll do it better than you

But Lemmy’s he’s a good man
He’ll give you the shirt off his back
He can make the starving a feast
From a burger and a shot of Jack
And when he speaks wisdom comes
That is so true so amazing
It frees your soul though you’d admit
You’ve no freakin’ clue what he’s sayin’

Lemmy wasn’t born in 4 BC
It was a few years later you see
And now he’s living in sin
With Mary Magdalene

And there was no immaculate conception
He’s probably on his 3rd resurrection
He’s coming back from the dead
To tour with Motorhead

What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever it is he’d do it better than you.

And continuing the theme of blatant self promotion, you can subscribe to our Youtube channel or like us on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/TheCheesebergens/

 

Mommy and Daddy Worship Satan

 

I hoped they wouldn’t notice but
My friends suspicion’s roused
They ask me why I never let them
Come play at my house
It looks as if I may have to
Invite them to my home
And pray dad doesn’t greet then when
He’s wearing his black robe

The coast is clear they wonder what
The worry on my face meant
When suddenly a chanting starts
To rise up from the basement
Why can’t I be a normal kid
It’s so much less complex
To say I think it’s just my mom
And father having sex

My mother says “I guess I just
Don’t get your generation”
And that’s what life is like when mom
And daddy worship Satan.

And before I know it they
Are running to explore
And follow the odd noises that
Are coming from the floor
And soon they find my parents
In their favorite recreation
Conjuring up spirits in
An evil incantation

And daddy says “Oh visitors
Well isn’t that just nice?”
I hope he doesn’t think them virgins
To be sacrificed
But mom ignores my gestures and
She sports an evil grin her
Mouth waters as she says “We’re happy
To have you for dinner!”

I fear they will accept her offer
And agree to stay
Do they not know she means to have them
As the main entree?
I’m just about to tell them run
But briefly I think twice
A break from eye of newt and toe
Of frog would sure be nice

My mother says “I guess I just
Don’t get your generation”
And that’s what life is like when mom
And daddy worship Satan.

This is the second single release from my family band The CheeseBergens. I actually wrote this as a poem some months back and edited it a bit for the song version. Hope you enjoy! Also, if you care to make a donation, all proceeds will go directly to The Rock School Scholarship Fund.

My Mom Will Probably Kill Me

I don’t want to do my homework today
My mom will probably kill me
I don’t care what she say
I know she’ll probably kill me
Luke and Lea
Dragon slayers
Rock n’ roll and
XBox consoles
My mom will probably kill me
Today

I don’t wanna go to school today
My mom will probably kill me
I don’t care what she say
I know she’ll probably kill me
Surf the net
TV set
I just wanna
Listen to Nirvana
My mom will probably kill me
Today

I don’t wanna be good today
My mom will probably kill me
I don’t care what she say
I know she’ll probably kill me
Guess I’m just
Misunderstood
If I’m bad or
If I’m good
My mom will probably kill me
Today
I know she’ll probably kill me
Anyway

This is the first release from my band The CheeseBergens. Hope you enjoy. You can listen to the song for free or if you want to make a donation, all proceeds will be donated to The Rock School Scholarship Fund. http://rockschoolfund.org/ Thanks.

 

What Would Lemmy Do?

Lemmy he don’t really walk on water
But he just might sleep with your daughter
Aint’ gonna save your soul
He might save rock n’ roll

He came to earth on a motorcycle
And when he did he chose his disciples
Then they went to rehearsal
Fast Eddie Clarke and Wurzel

Chorus
What would Lemmy do
What would Lemmy do
What would Lemmy do
Whatever it is he’d do it better than you

Lemmy’ll save us from terrorist attacks
With just a pipe and a shot of jack
He don’t use no nukes
He wears his daisy dukes

And Lemmy he might never make it to heaven
He’s got a Marshall amp that goes to 11
Try nailing him on a cross
And he’ll tell you to get lost (f*** off)

Bridge:
But Lemmy, he’s a good man
He’d give you the shirt of his back
He can make the starving a feast
From a burger and a shot of Jack
And when he speaks wisdom comes
That is so true so amazing
It frees your soul though you admit
You’ve no freaking clue what he’s saying

Lemmy wasn’t born in 4 B.C
It was a few years later you see
And now he’s living in sin
With Mary Magdelene

And there was no immaculate conception
He’s probably on his third resurrection
He’s comin’ back from the dead
To tour with Motorhead

These are song lyrics from our family band The Cheesebergens about our lord and savior Lemmy Kilmister. For those unfamiliar I am including a clip from his documentary.

 

Cheap (Parody of Radiohead’s Creep)

When we were in the restaurant,
Couldn’t look you in the eye,
Did you see those prices?
I wanted to cry,
Can anyone afford this?
That I really doubt,
Think I’ll skip this meal and,
Put a down payment on a house.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

I bet they’re small portions,
I bet they’re a gyp,
If I have to pay for this,
I’m not gonna tip.
Did you bring your wallet?
Did you bring some cash?
I think they we might just,
Do a dine and dash.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

We’re running out the door,
We’re running, we run, run, run, run,
Run

I can’t believe we did that,
I can’t believe we had the nerve,
They’ll probably post a picture of us,
That says ‘Do Not Serve’.

Cause I’m too cheap,
For this bistro,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

Thanks so much to my son Jesse for helping me on guitar and vocals and making me sound so much better than I would otherwise. I love you baby!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/to-the-tune-of/