Karaoke King

He rises every day at 6
Carefully laid out clothes
A suit a tie an office life
The man that no one knows

That lurks behind his 9 to 5
That the night time will bring
Dons wig and platforms to become
The Karaoke King

Starts out with I Love Rock N Roll
And in full swing non stop
By 10 the mike is in his mouth
Bustin’ out Iggy Pop

One night while karaokeing
He sees a sight confounding
As in the front row seated now
Is Janet from accounting

He knows not how she arrived there
It would be just his luck
Perhaps she will not recognize
Him in his Kiss a makeup

But he knows the show must go on
No option of him leaving
And shocked when she joins him on stage
To sing Don’t Stop Believin

Then Hey Ya, Rollin In the Deep
Rehab, Fight for Your Rights
And Janet’s back on stage for a
Duet of Summer Nights

It’s rockin well past midnight and
He’s never more alive
He’s not afraid, Not petrified
That’s right he will survive!

Last call he’s bringing the house down
Seguewaying perfectly
Into We Are The Champions from
Bohemian Rhapsody

And with a medal round his chest
He boogies his way home
But slight concern the truth came out
He fears his cover blown

But next day at the office Janet
Looks him in the eye
And discreetly she removes
The glitter from his tie.

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The Queen of The Strongly Worded Emails

If the pen is mightier than the sword,
Well then bring it on,
Cause when she’s at a keyboard,
She’s like an atomic bomb.

She don’t care if she hurts their feelings,
She don’t care if they think it’s mean,
Cause when it comes to strongly worded emails,
Bow down to the queen.

Teachers, parents, businesses,
Can close the door with 20 locks,
It ain’t gonna protect them,
From what waits in their inbox.

They might have thought they were her buddies,
They might have thought she was their friend,
But she’s the Queen of Strongly Worded Emails,
And she’s hitting send.

Their heart plummets to the ground,
They start to sweat and stress,
When they see that message highlighted,
From her email address.

She’s callin’ them names and usin’ words,
I bet they never even knew,
And if they read between the lines,
She’s vaguely threatening to sue.

So all those bitches,
Can bow down and see,
She’s the silver tongued devil,
Of the 21st century.

And nobody can be meaner,
And nobody can be ruder,
So they best watch their words,
Or she’ll bust out on the computer.

And when they see those emails coming,
They know it is the end,
Cause she’s the Queen of The Strongly Worded Emails,
And she’s hitting send.

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