Stupid Punk Song (CheeseBergens’ Video Release)

 

Hello followers and friends! If you are reading this, you probably already know that I have passed on, which is precisely why I haven’t been around the blogosphere much to read your blogs lately. As I look into this batch of molten chocolate that will seal my fate, I contemplate the meaningless of life and all that comes with it.

This video is one of the few things I will leave behind to mark my legacy. If you like or comment, my soul may become light, giving me one last chance to ascend to heaven. Otherwise I am doomed to rot in hell for all eternity, but who am I to make your feel guilty?

https://www.facebook.com/TheCheesebergens/?ref=bookmarks

I’m At It Again

That’s right, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the proverbial blogging water, here I am with my hand out again. I’m trying to get votes for my son’s band. “What?” you say, “We already voted for your son’s band!” you say. Well this is yet another contest and I could bore you with the details but, it may just be better to say, cast a vote for Diabology here:

combatrecs.com

and then read the details if you’re truly interested.

By the way, you can vote as many times as you are able until the contest ends on Dec. 30, so anything you can do is greatly appreciated. Also, because there are so many voters, the site keeps crashing making it even more annoying. It’s usually busiest in the evenings.

In other news, since I have my hand out so often, I hear that there is a poem about me circulating around the internet. You guys don’t think it’s true, do you??

There’s once was a blogger Marissa
Whose poems were really a pisser
She had quite a noggin
But then she stopped bloggin’
And some said they really did miss her

Then one day her blog reappeared
But readers found it a bit weird
‘Twas only the labor
Of asking a favor
Of all of her put upon peers

So politely disguised as a comedy
And sometimes with a lame apology
Here’s another she’s wrote
To elicit a vote
For her son’s metal band Diabology

So be you not fooled by her ditties
Her words may be clever and witty
But she’s really quite sad
And perhaps a bit mad
But at least cast a vote out of pity.

Diabology

No Man’s Land

 

This one, inspired by my son’s birthday today.

Creepy spiders, badger’s nest, perhaps dinner for two
A wizard and a warlock and of course a witch’s brew
An amulet, a cigarette, those keys you never found
Spare coins, the remote control, the pet you thought had drowned
The wallet years gone missing though you never knew to where
Amazing the things you will find while combing Jesse’s hair.

Happy Birthday Jesse!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who voted for my son’s band in the Metal Devastation Band of the Month poll. They actually won! They got a blog spot featured here and will be in heavy rotation on the station all month as well as being featured on their Facebook page. I’m sure my son would be overjoyed if, as a birthday gift, you would give his band a like on Facebook or follow them on Instagram.

https://www.facebook.com/diabologyband/

https://www.instagram.com/diabologyband/?hl=en


Hello From the Gutter (Please Vote)

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned. It has been over four months since my last blog entry and about 3 years since I changed my profile picture. I don’t even look like that any more.

And now I’m only back because I need something! I need you to vote for my son’s band who is competing in the same contest my illustrious band, The CheeseBergens competed in some months back….but they actually have a chance of winning! So let me put in this plug for them before I give you a reason for my despicable actions.

They are called Diabology and here’s the link:

Diabology

http://metaldevastationradio.com/battle-of-the-bands/poll/8/who-wants-to-be-band-of-the-month-november-2017

By the way, for those who are wondering why I’ve been absent, it’s because instead of filling my dull, senseless hours  at work by blogging, I’m now doing freelance writing which I’m actually getting paid for.  It’s been a difficult choice, but blogging just ain’t paying the bills! (By the way, If you want to do the same, I suggest you check out Upwork.com.)

And now, to make this post just a bit less self-serving… a poem…

Look at me
A senseless hack
Gone too long
But now I’m back
Not for the good
Or for the greater
But just to ask
You all a favor
Surely I
Do not deserve
And you’ll all say
I have some nerve
Unfollow me
And call me damned
But maybe vote
For my son’s band.

Voting goes through the end of October only!!

Metal Devastation Band of the Month

Hey people! My band, The CheeseBergens has entered a contest for Band of the Month on Metal Devastation Radio and we need votes! To avoid gratuitous self promotion, I’ve decided to also write a poem to help promote the cause. A lot of my blogging friends already voted, I know, and thanks so much to those who did. Here is the link:

http://metaldevastationradio.com/battle

And here is the poem:

If you vote we’lll have a chance
If you vote, I’ll do a dance
Or if you think I’d better not
If you vote, then I will stop

If you vote I’ll kiss a frog
If you vote, I’ll like your blog
Leave messages and you can boast
Marissa commented “Great post!”

And voting isn’t just for you
Your aunt can vote, your mother too
And if they think the format’s foreign
Just log on and you vote for ’em

You only have to do it once
Perhaps we’ll be band of the month
We’ll thank the little people too
And then you know that we’ll mean you

If you vote I will pretend
That you’re my very best of friends
I’ll give you stuff and rub your shoulders
Least until the month is over

P.S. By the way, voting is ongoing until the end of April 2017. If you are reading this blog before the end of April, you still have the opportunity to vote, so please do. It’s very much appreciated!

NJ Metal Band Fires Drummer For Not Knowing All Metal Subgenres

It’s been a while since I’ve written for Geeks of Doom, but when they posted something about needing Onion style articles for April Fool’s Day…. I couldn’t resist. Here is the link to the article:

http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2017/04/01/nj-metal-band-fires-drummer-metal-afd

BTW, the picture is of my son’s band, but the article is fiction. What can I say? I needed an image and…where else was I gonna find such an appropriate bunch of goofballs?

Theme From The CheeseBergens

It started when my mom had a middle aged crisis
Should have seen a shrink, left to her own devices
She was gonna rock n’ roll just like me
Now she’s embarrassing herself for all to see

Chorus:
We’re the
CheeseBergens coming to your town
In a broken down school bus
CheeseBergens coming to your town
And the Partridge family has nothing on us

I know you think my sister’s cute but oh guess what
Take my word for it, she’s a freakin’ nut
My dad is kind of cool but sometimes he’s a bummer
I guess that’s okay because he’s just the drummer

Chorus

And me, I guess it’s kind of cool to play some music
Though it’s kind of a drag with the parental units
Still I’m gettin’ out and gettin’ all my kicks
Though it’s kind of impossible to pick up chicks

Hello and Happy New Year to you all! As a way to kick off the new year, our family band is launching a Three Songs In Three Days Campaign so prepare to be bombarded. Here is the first of three, and I believe I have not yet shared these lyrics with you so…added bonus! The song tells the story of how the wackiness all started…well, more or less…