The Official List of Lists (In Verse)

On the blogosphere I’ve noticed this,
We bloggers sure do like our lists.

Mommy bloggers cross continental,
Listing all things sentimental,
And as for those moms more ironic,
Liken their young ones to midget alcoholics.

Comedic blogs hit a high fever,
Listing things they hate about Justin Beiber.
Or other subjects surely done,
Like Miley Cyrus or the Kardashians.

Dating bloggers in lists often quip,
How to get in or out of a relationship.
I think Paul Simon did it like no other,
In ‘50 Ways To Leave Your Lover’,
(But perhaps modernizing could entail,
‘Send ‘em a text Rex’, or ‘An email Gayle’)

Music bloggers have it easy,
Listing songs and albums hard, fast, or sleezy,
But may I recommend this?
Perhaps you can create a Liszt list.
Although perhaps you’d second guess,
As it’s much funnier only in concept.

But the one I guess most can’t resist,
Is probably The Bucket List,
Though these I never could quite understand
Since I never made it much past ‘ice’ and ‘sand’.

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A Hypocrite’s Oath

Fixing that table, sewing that sock,
Meeting my old friends for coffee and talk,
Cleaning out the garage, paying that bill,
Things I say I’ll do but never will.

How are you, I’m doing fine,
You’re quite welcome, any time,
Inane expressions I use every day,
Things I never mean but say.

A good, honest person, caring and true,
Someone organized who sees everything through,
All of these I feel I ought,
Tell myself I am, but am not.

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