The Joke Is On Me

You told me you’d take care of her
Something apropeaux
For the way she treated me
Those years long ago

You said that there would come a day
She would fall from grace
Show at my door begging for change
And I’d spit in her face

Or maybe have 5 little brats
And sit and stuff her mouth
With pork and beans as she took up
Two sections of the couch

But there was no such suffering
For little old Miss Mean
But there’s a table just for her
At Tavern on the Green

Where I hear that she hangs out
With the Pitt-Jolie’s
She parties in The Hamptons and
Has cocktails in The Keys

Her face is not cobwebbed with lines
As should be her luck
And when it sags and bags she just
Goes for a quick nip tuck

And when I judge her character
Incredulous they answer
“She’s known for work with charities
And fighting aids and cancer!”

Oh Karma you did take me on
A cruel and thankless ride
I knew you were a bitch but I
Thought you were on my side.


The Sociopath At The High School Reunion

Quietly I sit in the back
And look at all of the bitches
Mental notes of their degeneration
The stuff I store like riches.

Tammy’s ass has got so fat
Gina turned into her mother
Yvette has all but lost her chin
Lisa showed up with her brother,

Christine hasn’t done her roots
And I can see her hair’s really grey
Evelyn should know all that Botox
Ain’t foolin’ no one anyway.

Ellen cashiers in a grocery store
And can you say the word boozer?
Jennifer hasn’t stepped away from the bar
And her husband is kind of a loser.

I leave with a smile on my face
For now it’s so easy to see
They should have known better than to tempt karma’s fate
When they decided to pick on me.


photo credit: