Hannah The Curmudgeonly Hippie

Maybe her pilates bands
Were on a bit too tight
Perhaps it was her wind chimes that
Did keep her up all night

She lost a game of hacky sack?
There really is no telling
Maybe the scent of compost heap
Was getting overwhelming

Perhaps it was the harvest moon
Conflicted with the tides
Or maybe she had just found out
Jerry Garcia died

Or maybe her last tie dye session
Got a bit precarious
Perhaps she’s bummed she missed out on
The Age of Aquarius

Or maybe the misfortune to
Have a bad dreadlock day
But something put the nasty right
Into her namaste

Or could it be that peace and love
Just didn’t sound so good
Or that she got nag champa when
She wanted sandalwood

Or the smell of the patchouli which
Despite washings did linger
But I flashed her the peace sign
And she gave me the finger.

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Moonshine Greenberg and The Bad Acid Trip

Little Marcie Greenberg, a nice little girl from Queens
Her hometown didn’t have enough for her big city dreams
She hopped into a flowered van that said ‘Death before disco!’
With a group of hippies headed west to San Francisco

And in a psychedelic trip she swore she wasn’t dreaming
When a small fish came to her to tell her of life’s meaning
He said “The prophets of the day will make you see the light
Thou shall rock n’ roll all day and party every night!”
Then the fish puckered his mouth and gestured with his flipper
Which I guess meant ‘lose the Marcia, Moonshine is much hipper!’

She kept up with her family though I guess it’s kind of crummy
That she checked in to tell them only where to wire money
She swore it was for food and clothes but we know that instead
It all went to pot, acid, shrooms and tickets for the Dead

But then one day while tripping she saw friends eating a pizza
She swore the very head torn off of dear Jerry Garcia
They thought maybe some pot would make her feel more in control
Convinced was she it was her holy fish ground in the bowl

So as not to call in pigs and make an ugly scene
They put her on a train they hoped vaguely headed for Queens
She clawed and punched and kicked and spoke profanities all night
But when she sun fin’lly arose she knew she’d be alright

And so she did return back home and everything was fine
She rarely talks about the time she was known as Moonshine
And you would barely recognize her from her crazy days
Cause now she works in Jersey as a high end CPA.

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Sorry, I Must Have Lost My Mind

So here’s an existential question for the ages…Did you ever have a friend and you’ve known them for some time, maybe even a few years, and then you begin to notice that they are absolutely bat s*** crazy? Well, the question is, did they become crazy while you knew them or were they always crazy and you just realized this as you got to know them better?

That is something to ponder as I briefly describe my friendship with Evangeline.

1. I meet Evangeline and she is the coolest girl in the world, full stop, hands down, real girl’s night out girl, ¬†very down to earth and also, the lead singer in my band.

2. Evangeline meets Lee. Now we all expect our friends to change a bit when they fall in love. But this is the kind of love where the two of them are so intertwined that you have to constantly remind them that there are other people in the world.

3. Evangeline marries Lee, leaves the band and the two of them become hardcore hippies, we’re talking no shaving, no killing of animals no matter how small, love, peace and all that good stuff and they move to a commune in Pennsylvania presumably never to be heard from again.

4. Even though the two of them now reside in what I imagine as a hut in the swamps of Florida where they probably send Lee out in a lightening storm with a key and a kite to get internet service, Evangeline tracks me down through Facebook where we resume a virtual friendship which can be described as spotty at best. That is to say, she will write  once in a while, I will write back, and it is likely that I will not hear from her again for months on end.

5. The other day, after not hearing from Evangeline for months, I receive the following email from her. (I did edit some of the irrelevant stuff out, but other than that, it is cut and paste from the internet).

I am growing and changing very much @ this time in my life. I’ve been really searching for who I am and what I want. I would have never thought this would happen now, but I need to remember who I am. Through many moments of remembering and forgetting, I kept thinking of you and all of the amazing times we had together, a very freeing feeling!!!! So again, thank you for your friendship, you are an inspiration in my life Marissa.

Since I can be obsessive, I’ve been trying to obsess on things that are good for me. So for the last few months I’ve been practicing yoga and meditation in the most exotic locations, mainly at the shoreline of the Gulf of Mexico. Inner peace is a gift so precious, no one can give it to you or buy it for you or even lend it to you. It is a rare gem we all need to find on our own. So I give thanks to the universe and the Goddess energy for helping to heal my busy mind and be connected to LOVE.

<awkward silence> <crickets>

Huh? How do I respond to this? How are you really, Evangeline? Everything alright with you and Lee? I got a really cool pair of jeans the other day? Does anyone else out there think this odd or am I just not growing with the new age times? Anyway, that’s all from me. Until I next become inspired…