The Gift of the Moron

Twas Christmas Eve The Dillingham’s
Did desperately endeavor
To buy each other gifts with naught
Two dimes to rub together

Della sat there pondering
Then suddenly she knew
To buy her man a Christmas gift
Just what she had to do

Her lovely hair she had to sell
And wear it short and plain
And in return for his fine watch
She would purchase a chain

So Christmas Day did come around
And so proud of her thrift
She did present her husband with
His valuable gift

But upon his unwrapping she thought
“What the bloody hell?”
His face did not light up so much
In fact it plainly fell

He said “Della it’s wonderful
But I’ve a sad confession
The watch to which this chain may suit’s
No longer my possession

I sold it in town yesterday
I’m sorry but it’s true
But with the best intentions of
Buying this gift for you”

And so produced a hand wrapped gift
And gave it to his wife
It was a flowered china dish
That read on it “Thug Life”

The inspiration for this poem was a prompt from Stephanie aka Little Miss Menopause at Once Upon Your Prime. She gave it to me some time ago but I wasn’t quite able to make it work until I saw this…ahem…unique holiday gift suggestion.