Someone’s Gonna Pay

My brow is furrowed eyes are steeled
My outward ammunition
My lips are locked to what you’d call
An upward snarl position

My dialogue is limited
To grunts and moans and mixed
With lots of exclamation points
Pound signs and asterisks

No telling what I’ll do when I
Feel so black in my heart
Might stalk old ladies at close distance
With my shopping cart

Might make some cookies and with anger
Gulp down the whole batch
Might tell Joan from accounting that
Her outfit doesn’t match

Might honk at some pedestrians
I see out in the street
Return half eaten food to Ralphs
Say I lost the receipt

And if I see you laughing then
I’ll fix you with eye rolls
Tell you I found my fish this morning
Face up in the bowl

I might put some brat’s favorite toy
Up on the highest shelf
And tough luck to my boss he can
Make copies for himself

Might put glue in your hairspray or
Into your shoes some snails
Might send out five or six or more
Harshly wrote emails

And then I guess we’ll have to see
Just how tomorrow goes
Just sayin’ that there best be milk
For my Cheerios.

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Waking Up Dead

Deep in sleep I was when a dream,
so awful did occur,
I was heading down a mountain,
life going by in a blur.

When the car I was in crashed,
and I saw my body lying still,
And from it my soul ascended,
rest assured I had been killed.

And then I awoke,
and it occurred to me a fright,
For if you die in your dreams,
supposedly you die in real life.

And one look in the mirror,
proved it sure enough,
My skin gray and translucent,
I looked like death warmed up.

I spoke to my family about,
the day ahead and all their chores,
To find in no uncertain terms,
I was completely ignored.

Sent a bunch of texts and emails,
all of which confirmed,
that I truly must be dead,
since none of them were returned.

I decided to go into work,
since no truer was the test,
And there i found my boss,
amidst the most terrible mess.

And if i was merely an apparition,
somehow I caught his sight,
As he bellowed, “This is all your fault,
now make it right!”

And from then on forward,
there seemed not much transgression,,
As my life plods on by,
in a somewhat similar succession.

So that to this day I find it,
still impossible to tell,
If I am alive,
or if I’ve died and gone to hell.

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I’d like to thank http://moxieinthemaking1.wordpress.com/ for turning me on to this prompt.

See her take on it here:

http://moxieinthemaking1.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/prompt-response-waking-up-dead/

The Queen of The Strongly Worded Emails

If the pen is mightier than the sword,
Well then bring it on,
Cause when she’s at a keyboard,
She’s like an atomic bomb.

She don’t care if she hurts their feelings,
She don’t care if they think it’s mean,
Cause when it comes to strongly worded emails,
Bow down to the queen.

Teachers, parents, businesses,
Can close the door with 20 locks,
It ain’t gonna protect them,
From what waits in their inbox.

They might have thought they were her buddies,
They might have thought she was their friend,
But she’s the Queen of Strongly Worded Emails,
And she’s hitting send.

Their heart plummets to the ground,
They start to sweat and stress,
When they see that message highlighted,
From her email address.

She’s callin’ them names and usin’ words,
I bet they never even knew,
And if they read between the lines,
She’s vaguely threatening to sue.

So all those bitches,
Can bow down and see,
She’s the silver tongued devil,
Of the 21st century.

And nobody can be meaner,
And nobody can be ruder,
So they best watch their words,
Or she’ll bust out on the computer.

And when they see those emails coming,
They know it is the end,
Cause she’s the Queen of The Strongly Worded Emails,
And she’s hitting send.

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Sorry, I Must Have Lost My Mind

So here’s an existential question for the ages…Did you ever have a friend and you’ve known them for some time, maybe even a few years, and then you begin to notice that they are absolutely bat s*** crazy? Well, the question is, did they become crazy while you knew them or were they always crazy and you just realized this as you got to know them better?

That is something to ponder as I briefly describe my friendship with Evangeline.

1. I meet Evangeline and she is the coolest girl in the world, full stop, hands down, real girl’s night out girl,  very down to earth and also, the lead singer in my band.

2. Evangeline meets Lee. Now we all expect our friends to change a bit when they fall in love. But this is the kind of love where the two of them are so intertwined that you have to constantly remind them that there are other people in the world.

3. Evangeline marries Lee, leaves the band and the two of them become hardcore hippies, we’re talking no shaving, no killing of animals no matter how small, love, peace and all that good stuff and they move to a commune in Pennsylvania presumably never to be heard from again.

4. Even though the two of them now reside in what I imagine as a hut in the swamps of Florida where they probably send Lee out in a lightening storm with a key and a kite to get internet service, Evangeline tracks me down through Facebook where we resume a virtual friendship which can be described as spotty at best. That is to say, she will write  once in a while, I will write back, and it is likely that I will not hear from her again for months on end.

5. The other day, after not hearing from Evangeline for months, I receive the following email from her. (I did edit some of the irrelevant stuff out, but other than that, it is cut and paste from the internet).

I am growing and changing very much @ this time in my life. I’ve been really searching for who I am and what I want. I would have never thought this would happen now, but I need to remember who I am. Through many moments of remembering and forgetting, I kept thinking of you and all of the amazing times we had together, a very freeing feeling!!!! So again, thank you for your friendship, you are an inspiration in my life Marissa.

Since I can be obsessive, I’ve been trying to obsess on things that are good for me. So for the last few months I’ve been practicing yoga and meditation in the most exotic locations, mainly at the shoreline of the Gulf of Mexico. Inner peace is a gift so precious, no one can give it to you or buy it for you or even lend it to you. It is a rare gem we all need to find on our own. So I give thanks to the universe and the Goddess energy for helping to heal my busy mind and be connected to LOVE.

<awkward silence> <crickets>

Huh? How do I respond to this? How are you really, Evangeline? Everything alright with you and Lee? I got a really cool pair of jeans the other day? Does anyone else out there think this odd or am I just not growing with the new age times? Anyway, that’s all from me. Until I next become inspired…