The Plight of Snowball: A Dog Lost In A Cat’s Body

Snowball wouldn’t bat at socks
Or deign to use the litter box
She’d no use for that feline stuff
Tried making her meow a ruff

Her mother neared end of her whits
And wished her dear would only quit
But it was neither whim nor hobby
A canine in a feline’s body

And though her mom would fret and kvetch
Snowball brought a stick to fetch
Preferred to chase round the mailman
Then digging through a garbage can

She rather liked to chew one bones
Which beefed up her testosterone
But the elusive canine copy
Never did her ears go floppy

Nor could she seek an operation
To change the outcome of gestation
But other cats, Snowball they feared
And dogs, well they just found her weird

And rolled their eyes as they walked past
So poor Snowball was an outcast
And so a loner til that day
When all alone Snowball did play

Until the day she ran across
A cow who was born as a horse.

I Faked My Death On Facebook

I faked my death on Facebook
Forged up a sham account
And posted that I got stuck in
A chocolate vat and drowned

And came outpourings of concern
From family, friends and bosses
Along with 50 mediocre
‘Sorry for your losses’

And Jane who one day stopped liking
My posts all of a sudden
What did it mean? She heard the news
And just pressed the like button

Or my in laws that said “Too bad
To hear of this but look
Maybe now you’ll find someone
Who actually can cook”

But really just a lot of love
Was the all over trend
10 people that I hardly knew
Claimed they were my best friend

And commemorated me just like
I was the latest fad
Wrote lovely posts with memories
I’m sure I never had

And for three days I was the hottest
Trending news by far
Til Cam’s dog had to go and get
Run over by a car.

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Literature of The Literal

If it’s literally raining cats and dogs,

If it’s literally all Greek to me,

If you literally eat, sleep and breathe your art,

If you’re literally barking up the wrong tree,

You may want to think about your use of the word,

And in a light more serious,

Lest the use of these idioms,

Render us all idiots.

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Inspired By: ‘On The Importance Of Not Being Literal’ by Standing Ovation, Seated

http://artmoscow.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/three-art-inspired-stories/

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/fifty-word-inspiration/