The Post Birthday World

My birthday was early this week
And I did sit engrossed
With all the love and friendship that
Came via Facebook post

And to all those who wished me well
I’d really like to say
How wonderful you made me feel
Upon my special day

But then reality set in
And with it came depression
And time for me to now fixate
Upon my new obsession

For though I should be thankful for
The nice wishes I got
I can not help but think of who
Conveniently forgot

And with a cut so sweet and quick
They’ll never see it comin’
Hell hath no fury quite like that
Of the delete button.


Silver Linings

When the temperature plummets to the nth degree,
And you’re sure there must be somewhere better to be,
When you’re crammed in a club that’s dark and way too loud,
And you’re fighting off a drunk bridge and tunnel crowd,
When looking back, the highlight of your night so far,
Was talking to that stranger you met by the bar,
Though admittedly he’s not what you’d call pretty,
At least he made you laugh and was somewhat witty,
A midnight kiss in the cards? You think what the hell!,
Till across the room you see, he’s kissing someone else.

When you find yourself deep in a conversation,
With a college girl who flew in on vacation,
When you find yourself holed up in a bathroom somewhere,
She’s throwing up her guts as you’re holding her hair,
It’s clear her affection for you is quite telling,
You’re declared her best friend amidst the expelling.

When you’re back on the streets, finally see your friends,
Through the window of a pub down at the north end,
You smile with happiness as you start to think,
How nice it would be just to stop in for a drink,
The bouncer informs you this comes with the condition,
Of coughing up the 50 bucks for admission.

When 5 AM finds you in a place no finer,
Than at the dank, depressing, greasy spoon diner,
Where you come stumbling in with a sloppy gait,
Cause at some point you lost your heel in a sewer grate,
You reflect on a night you think never again, You,
order the most fattening thing on the menu,
And your makeup is running and your breath is sour,
Another resolution shot to hell in 5 hours,
And you raise a coffee cup to silently cheer,
How it’s already so much better than last year.


Dysfunctional Disney

A lovely young girl will not fail,
To get caught up in fairy tales,
But can you even imagine this?
To be the characters’ psychiatrist?
To hang with them each day of the week,
I say the prognosis is bleak.

The Little Mermaid has a poor body image,
And I’m afraid she is a hoarder,
Then over to old Snow White,
And the 7 Personality Disorders.

And just when I thought my day could get no worse,
It really is not good,
To see Eeyore depressed and Pooh binge eating,
Over in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Olaf from Frozen is delusional,
We had to coax him away from the fire,
After trying to convince poor Pinocchio,
About the dangers of being a compulsive liar.

Belle has Stockholm Syndrome,
For Sleeping Beauty it’s Kleine-Levin,
Alice in Wonderland is BPD,
And the Red Queen suffers manic depression.

Will Tinkerbell ever be happy?
For her the future looks dim,
And don’t even get me started on Peter Pan,
Who has a whole syndrome named for him.

And so we reflect on these suffering few,
And label them hero or villain,
All carefully planned yet we can’t understand,
The neuroses of our children.


Take That Fibromyalgia

I know I usually write charming little mom-edy pieces, but lately I have been overwhelmed and how many ‘sisters in pain’ I have found on Word Press aka fibromyalgia sufferers. I thought it might be helpful to share my story.

About 9 years ago, I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy, which was pretty horrible in and of itself. The good news in that is that it was caught early enough and I am now perfectly healthy and have had completely normal pregnancies before and after that pregnancy, but that’s not really the focus of this blog.

The doctor projected that I would recover within a 6-8 week period, and although I began feeling stronger, I was still in immense amounts of pain. What was odd too, was that the pain that was once in my lower abdominal area was now spreading throughout my body, into my joints, legs, knees and even my jaw and seemed more of a ‘nerve pain’. Desperately, I would seek advice from this doctor and that doctor, trying to find out what was wrong with me, but all of my tests came back normal. The only advice that they could give me was to rest, which, as an active young mother, only added to my depression.Waking up every morning and judging the day on the measure of my pain was no way to live.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and one morning after waking up in almost unbearable, and ever spreading pain, I took myself to the emergency room. The doctor there diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. And you know how I felt? I was actually kind of happy. Why? Because I was certain that whatever I had was some sort of a degenerative bone disease or something that would surely contribute to my deterioration. When I found out it was none of these, I was actually relieved!

Of course reality soon set in. I still had a painful condition to which there was no cure. But little did I realize I had taken my first step in my battle against fibromyalgia which was defeating depression.

I also realized that I could be active again. I began strengthening my body. I had been limping ever since my operation, but with the renewed strength in my body, the limp went away which also made me feel better about my body image. I swam and worked out, but probably the most helpful of all these activities was pilates. The gentle stretching was just the kind of therapy my body needed, not to mention the almost meditative state my mind would go into when exercising.

Today I am not without fibromyalgia pain, but it is so slight, I describe my state as being ‘in remission’. It is also helpful to know that it is so much better than it’s ever been.

I encourage anyone dealing with fibromyalgia to reach out at any time because there are people who know what you are going through, and there is hope.