New Music From The CheeseBergens

Hey! I’ve been away for quite some time and I probably won’t be coming back on a regular basis any time soon. I’m just here for shameless self promotion.

Even though I am coming up on 50, I am still actively making a fool of myself performing in my family band The CheeseBergens. In fact, we have just released a new album and if you could take a listen, it would mean the world to me.

You can download the album for free at our Bandcamp link.

We also have a lyric video below. morecheeseplease (2)

Do It With Cheese

There really ain’t no other way I like to grill it
When I get some frozen patties in my skillet
I’m down to eat a salad or scarf up grease
But there’s just one way to serve it that’s gonna please
I don’t care if it’s in slices or an easy squeeze

Just do it- but do it with cheese!

Now you might say your lactose intolerant
But I say just suck it up or you can go get bent
Cause if your tummy hurts then I say “oh please!”
Go wash it down with Tums or some anti freeze
Theres just one way to serve it that’s gonna please

Just do it – but do it with cheese!

When they see me comin’ they don’t need to guess
If I want some cheese with that cause the answer is yes
I need the gooey stuff and that’s for sure
And I don’t care if it’s costing me 50 cents more

Cheese is the stuff of life and you can’t refute
If you think you’re gaining weight then stop eating fruit
Cause life is too short to sweat the calories
So you best start clogging up all those arteries
Live fast and die of cardiovascular disease

Just do it – but do it with cheese!

Hello friends! I’m sure you were all waiting with bated breath for this last installment of our Three Songs In Three Days Campaign. Fun factoid!! Due to some technical issues this song almost was not released today!!! Lucky for you, we had a last minute edit that saved the day. I know, imagine you, all bummed out for the weekend because you were waiting for this song and couldn’t be sure if you would ever hear it!!

Well, here it is. This one was published before as a poem but now has music added, so PLEASE LISTEN!! Come on people, I can tell how many of you are listening and it’s a lot more than those who are stopping by to like or comment…although the fact that you are enjoying the lyrics is appreciated as well….but we work hard on this stuff!! This isĀ another track with my daughter on vocals and you know she’s a newbie at this so all feedback is appreciated, especially the good kind!! Okay, without further ado, The CheeseBergens’ lifelong motto…Do It With Cheese!

Do It With Cheese

There really ain’t no other way I like to grill it
When I got some frozen patties in my skillet
I’m down to eat a salad or scarf up grease
But there’s just one way to serve it that’s gonna please
I don’t care if it’s in slices or an easy squeeze just do it
But do it with cheese!

Now you might say you’re lactose intolerant
But I say just suck it up or go get bent
Cause if your tummy hurts then I say oh please
Go wash it down with Tums or some antifreeze
This is how we roll and if you want a piece then do it
But do it with cheese!

When they see me coming they don’t need to guess
If I want cheese with that cause the answer is yes
I need the gooey stuff and that’s for sure
I don’t care if it’s costin’ me 50 cents more

Cheese is the stuff of life and you can’t refute
If you think you’re gaining weight then stop eating fruit
Cause life it too short to sweat the calories
So you best start clogging up all those arteries
Live fast and die of cardiovascular disease just do it
But do it with cheese!

Please enjoy song lyrics and video footage from our gig on Saturday night. I know it’s very dark but hopefully you get the idea! And you can like us on Facebook at this link:https://www.facebook.com/TheCheesebergens/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

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Trampling At The Sampling

I circle like a vulture and
In deepest secrecy
Dare not divulge the nature
Or give out my strategy

And with the stealthiest of stealth
Unrivaled by a cheetah
I look on cups filled with cream puffs
Yogurt, spanakopitas

And with my wig and sunglasses
Practically incognito
No one will guess my gluttony
I wait on the burrito

She says it’d be 10 minutes so
I hover real near by
Studying a box of mac n cheese
I’ve no intent to buy

And soon the microwave bell dings
And surely I got dibs
But tell that to the woman waiting
With her seven kids

Nervously I do surmise
A serving less than ample
Dismayed as the burrito’s cut
To no more than 8 samples

Little fingers greedy clench
And little mouths that dine
Upon food that for all intent
And purpose should be mine

But what is this I come upon
In slow motion unfolds
The hands that eagerly stretch out
Of a poor three year old

Anticipation on her face
So pure and filled with light
All awaiting joyous tastes
Within the tiny bite

But all is fair in love and war
Some day she’ll understand
Just why I had to snatch the sample
From her tiny hands

I’m sure she will forget about it
By end of the day
And prob’ly wouldn’t have really
Enjoyed it anyway

And after that all bets are off
And destiny it calls
Along with soda, ice cream, meats
And two jumbo meatballs

Cheeses, crackers, sausages
Nuggets shaped like stars
As I cut a blind man off
To grab granola bars

Cookies, coffee, gummy bears
All worthy of a try
As well as some strange chewy stuff
I can’t identify

And vegan gluten free wheat cakes
That taste a bit like tin
A candy coated laxative
And children’s vitamins

And with all tables visited
It’s time to head on out
With bile in my stomach and
A bad taste in my mouth

And as I’m headed for the door
A woman there does greet
Me to ask me if I bought something
She would check my receipt

I say to her that I did not
And thank her for her service
But giggle that she’d think I’d
Actually make a purchase.

Inspired by a local story you can read about here, which turns out to be not nearly as funny.

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