The Godmother of The Lower East Side

No, It’s not me…ha, ha! I would have loved that status but missed my chance when I moved to L.A. ….not that anyone would have been likely to induct me anyway. Well, here is my actual interview for the week about a really amazing woman who supports the arts and tries to keep the NY scene alive. You can read it here.


From Out of The Hands Of Babes

The paper placed into your hands
The picture that she drew
And luckily stops to explain
“Look mommy, it’s you!”

My mouth is in a rictus grin
My eyes bulge either way
I look like Gary Busey might when
It’s a bad hair day

My sweater doesn’t match my pants
So much to my remorse
I might be out walking the dog
Or strangling a small horse

My breasts look a bit like Maxine’s
My nose a bit like Shrek
It seems a great misfortune I
Was born without a neck

A building coming to my knees
Completes a lovely vision
So it seems I suffer from
A case of gigantism

I note Hamburger Helper hands
Perhaps just a tad bigger
Which looks obscene when juxtaposed
With my girlish stick figure

My girl looks up expectantly
Fixed with an impish grin she
Clearly does know me all too well
“At least I made you skinny.”


Literature of The Literal

If it’s literally raining cats and dogs,

If it’s literally all Greek to me,

If you literally eat, sleep and breathe your art,

If you’re literally barking up the wrong tree,

You may want to think about your use of the word,

And in a light more serious,

Lest the use of these idioms,

Render us all idiots.


Inspired By: ‘On The Importance Of Not Being Literal’ by Standing Ovation, Seated