Sample Letter of Resignation

Dear Boss, I’m herby turning in
My note of resignation
It’s been great but I’m overwhelmed
By other obligations

And wearing proper clothes just really
Isn’t quite my style
And I haven’t seen an episode
Of Oprah in a while

I’m strengthening old relationships
And getting reconnected
Like yesterday my couch told me
It felt a bit neglected

There’s been highlights of my career
I’m sad to leave this place
Like when you tripped in the brake room and
You fell flat on your face

Or when Jan from accounting came in
Looking all composed
She didn’t know her skirt was tucked
Into her panty hose

Guess you’ll need time to find someone
Right to fill my position
I’d love to say I’ll stick around
To make a smooth transition

But I must binge watch Game of Thrones
And catch up on my napping
So let’s be real we both know that
That just ain’t gonna happen

A fond farewell I bid, guess that about
Does it here for me
(As I hover on the Smith files and
Hit the delete key)

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Someone’s Gonna Pay

My brow is furrowed eyes are steeled
My outward ammunition
My lips are locked to what you’d call
An upward snarl position

My dialogue is limited
To grunts and moans and mixed
With lots of exclamation points
Pound signs and asterisks

No telling what I’ll do when I
Feel so black in my heart
Might stalk old ladies at close distance
With my shopping cart

Might make some cookies and with anger
Gulp down the whole batch
Might tell Joan from accounting that
Her outfit doesn’t match

Might honk at some pedestrians
I see out in the street
Return half eaten food to Ralphs
Say I lost the receipt

And if I see you laughing then
I’ll fix you with eye rolls
Tell you I found my fish this morning
Face up in the bowl

I might put some brat’s favorite toy
Up on the highest shelf
And tough luck to my boss he can
Make copies for himself

Might put glue in your hairspray or
Into your shoes some snails
Might send out five or six or more
Harshly wrote emails

And then I guess we’ll have to see
Just how tomorrow goes
Just sayin’ that there best be milk
For my Cheerios.

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The Day After

When Shirley from accounting shows up
Looking quite a wreck
A scarf that covers telltale hickeys
Up and down her neck

And Peter from the mailroom runs off
Without saying hi
And you see that he barely can
Look Shirley in the eye

And workers check their emails and
Without missing a beat
Come to the one that Jackson sent
And quickly hit delete

The humor lost in the fluorescent
Cold reality
A faxed and emailed image no one
Really needs to see

When Kevin sniffles as he packs
His personal effects
Desperate to muster dignity
As he clears out his desk

When Connie from HR looks green
But says she’s doing fine
She runs to vomit in the restroom
For the seventh time

The boss comes from his office with
A look to scare the dead
His hands upon his hips and he
Just slowly shakes his head

And without a word he turns
Around and walks away
But I guess his black eye is saying
All he needs to say

When gazes dare not leave the ground
And vibes are most peculiar
Silence or awkward conversation
Round the water cooler

And it looks as if this week will be
Exceptionally gnarly
It must be the first Monday back
After the holiday party

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A Day In The Life

A boring Monday looms ahead
You curse your boss, the bastard
But this can be alleviated
With a tab of acid

Dissolve some in your morning brew
And that which you’re complaining
Turns to what you can’t deny
Is much more entertaining

Edith greets me at the door
In her usual place
But today her glasses seem
To melt right off her face

I hurry to my cubicle
My mouth tired from grinning
A distant though a distinct sound
Of my telephone ringing

Lights and numbers morph and trail
Like some elegant dancer
Can’t say how long I stared before
I thought it best to answer

But to decipher who or what
A task I found confounding
Until the poor girl nearly screamed
“It’s Janet from accounting!!!”

I knew not why she called, some silly
Numbers she was needing
But by the end I do believe
We found out life’s true meaning

And after that what happened well
I can not say for sure
Some say I spent the day barefoot
Just rolling round the floor

Others say bets were taken on
Who would emerge the winner
After a valiant battle fought
I waged against the printer

I went home thought about my day
And with great trepidation
On what I ended up submitting
For that presentation

For what may have come out of me
I’ve really not an inkling
Turns out the client really liked
My out of the box thinking

Karaoke King

He rises every day at 6
Carefully laid out clothes
A suit a tie an office life
The man that no one knows

That lurks behind his 9 to 5
That the night time will bring
Dons wig and platforms to become
The Karaoke King

Starts out with I Love Rock N Roll
And in full swing non stop
By 10 the mike is in his mouth
Bustin’ out Iggy Pop

One night while karaokeing
He sees a sight confounding
As in the front row seated now
Is Janet from accounting

He knows not how she arrived there
It would be just his luck
Perhaps she will not recognize
Him in his Kiss a makeup

But he knows the show must go on
No option of him leaving
And shocked when she joins him on stage
To sing Don’t Stop Believin

Then Hey Ya, Rollin In the Deep
Rehab, Fight for Your Rights
And Janet’s back on stage for a
Duet of Summer Nights

It’s rockin well past midnight and
He’s never more alive
He’s not afraid, Not petrified
That’s right he will survive!

Last call he’s bringing the house down
Seguewaying perfectly
Into We Are The Champions from
Bohemian Rhapsody

And with a medal round his chest
He boogies his way home
But slight concern the truth came out
He fears his cover blown

But next day at the office Janet
Looks him in the eye
And discreetly she removes
The glitter from his tie.

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