Vending Machine Imodium

Out on the road a week now
And oh, the travelers fate
To suffer consequences
Of what I might have ate

That makes my bowels a liquid
I sit here turning blue
Suspect the eggs from Denny’s
On Route 82

Can’t make it to the drug store
If you know what I mean
I’ll get that cut-rate stuff
From the vending machine

Cost me seven dollars
My stomach’s still a jerking
Why am I not surprised?
This stupid stuff ain’t working

Vending machine Imodium
Oh you’ve done me wrong
Vending machine Imodium
That’s why I sing this song

I don’t know what I done
Stole cheated and lied
It feels like Satan’s minion
Crawled in my guts and died

And though I don’t deserve it
Of that I have no doubt
I’d give anything
If he’d get the hell out

Maybe get some cyanide
To help and get me through it
Because I’ll tell you one thing
This Imodium won’t do it

But out of this is some advice
If you’re traveling please do
Pack Imodium and avoid the Denny’s
On Route 82

Vending machine Imodium
Oh, you’ve done me wrong
Vending machine Imodium
That’s why I sing this song

Written in response to Cold Hand (Craig) Boyack’s Blog:

Thanks for getting me writing again!


65 thoughts on “Vending Machine Imodium

  1. Apparently vending machines aren’t just for snacks and sodas anymore. I had a moment like this after a potluck lunch at our office Christmas party. I pulled a number for the gift exchange and a minute later, my intestines started twisting. I told my friend to pick a gift for me if my number came up and I went off in search of a toilet and some Imodium. I was gone for a LONG time. When I came back, I learned my number had been called like, 15 minutes ago. My friend hadn’t picked a gift in my stead, she said she hadn’t heard me. So everyone was waiting expectantly for me to return and make my choice. “Good God, where have you BEEN?” someone hollered. As if I was going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole! 🙂

  2. Oh Marissa, it is really bad when Satan’s minion crawls inside a person. I’m not surprised that vending machine stuff couldn’t work on that. Thanks for the heads up on that Denny’s, I’ll go with Ihop instead! 😀

  3. YAYAYAYAYAY!! You’re writing again!!! I am HOPING this is fictional because having the tummy blues is not my idea of fun in any form. LOVED this, Marissa!!! Just loved it!! Thank you! 🤣

  4. LOL. A hurricane of laughter struck me with this one. Now come to think of it. There could be a song called “Hurricane Marissa”. “First she struck LA, then the City by Bay. Seattle better watch out. Next it’ll be Canada, eh.” That’s the best I can do with a moment’s notice.

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