Out on the road a week now
And oh, the travelers fate
To suffer consequences
Of what I might have ate
That makes my bowels a liquid
I sit here turning blue
Suspect the eggs from Denny’s
On Route 82
Can’t make it to the drug store
If you know what I mean
I’ll get that cut-rate stuff
From the vending machine
Cost me seven dollars
My stomach’s still a jerking
Why am I not surprised?
This stupid stuff ain’t working
Vending machine Imodium
Oh you’ve done me wrong
Vending machine Imodium
That’s why I sing this song
I don’t know what I done
Stole cheated and lied
It feels like Satan’s minion
Crawled in my guts and died
And though I don’t deserve it
Of that I have no doubt
I’d give anything
If he’d get the hell out
Maybe get some cyanide
To help and get me through it
Because I’ll tell you one thing
This Imodium won’t do it
But out of this is some advice
If you’re traveling please do
Pack Imodium and avoid the Denny’s
On Route 82
Vending machine Imodium
Oh, you’ve done me wrong
Vending machine Imodium
That’s why I sing this song
Written in response to Cold Hand (Craig) Boyack’s Blog: https://coldhandboyack.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/i-could-write-a-country-song/comment-page-1/#comment-27548
Thanks for getting me writing again!
Outstanding job. I’ll make sure to share this everywhere. I’m excited to have you writing again.
I’m glad you liked it and thank you so much for reblogging!
It’s wonderful. Remember me at the Grammy’s.
That’s the hope…will do…
Reblogged this on Entertaining Stories and commented:
And now we have a song called, “Vending Machine Imodium.” Please visit Marissa and consider following this talented blogger and songstress.
Lol love it!!!!
Thank you Ritu!
Hahahahhahahahah, it’s called ‘Delhi belly’ this side of the world and I’m not sure Imodium would work here, either! You’re a master at this, Marissa!
Thanks Kunal! I may just have to write another one for your side of the world…and call it Delhi Belly, of course!
Do that! 😀
You may not want to tempt me…
Crackalackin!
Ha! Thanks much!
You’ve got to suffer to sing the blues
Indeed…
The follow-up to this song is “Road Side Latrine”?
Don’t get me started and…uh… I believe that’s called a Porta-Potty.
Not when its literally… the side of the road. 😁😁
The lyrics are a little crappy, but it has a beat and you can dance to it
Funny dude…very funny…
The last verse, a great chorus – if you can hang on to sing it.
That’s the hope! Thanks George!
That was hysterical!
Poor Craig….but your take on it is so much fun!
Guess I’m an opportunist. Thanks Mae!
Hahaha… this is too funny! I always have my Imodium with me… and since I am on vacation from tomorrow on it is already in my suitcase… lol!
You are brilliant and practical!
I am a survivor… haha!
Sheeee’s baaaaaack!!! 😀
I can’t beat a comment like Sheldon’s. Sing those blues!
Thanks…well, for the moment anyway. Yes, Sheldon’s comment was pretty on point!
Glad to see you back, Marissa. Missed your poetic humor. ‘Satan’s minion’ is crazy funny. ❤
Callin it like I see it, ha, ha! Thanks for the kind words!
Apparently vending machines aren’t just for snacks and sodas anymore. I had a moment like this after a potluck lunch at our office Christmas party. I pulled a number for the gift exchange and a minute later, my intestines started twisting. I told my friend to pick a gift for me if my number came up and I went off in search of a toilet and some Imodium. I was gone for a LONG time. When I came back, I learned my number had been called like, 15 minutes ago. My friend hadn’t picked a gift in my stead, she said she hadn’t heard me. So everyone was waiting expectantly for me to return and make my choice. “Good God, where have you BEEN?” someone hollered. As if I was going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole! 🙂
Oh wow! That could definitely go down in history as one of life’s most embarrassing moments. Sorry to bring back those memories!
Oh my stomach has hurt so bad before and you’re reminding me of that now! Haha you have such good lines here.. so glad you’re back 🙂
Thank you and … I’m sorry!
Ahaha! Well done! 😀
Thank you!
Try replacing the word “Millenium” in the Robbie Williams song of the same name with “Immodium”. It’s great!…ish.
Who is this Robbie Williams of which you speak? Never mind, googling the lyrics now.
Ah yes, I’m forgetting that youcolonial types are unfamiliar with Mr Williams’ warblings. You lucky stiffs! 😀
When I try to acquaint myself with new music, I usually start at the 90’s.
Falling from grace indeed…
Brilliant Marissa! 😀
Thank you!
Oh Marissa, it is really bad when Satan’s minion crawls inside a person. I’m not surprised that vending machine stuff couldn’t work on that. Thanks for the heads up on that Denny’s, I’ll go with Ihop instead! 😀
Okay, as long as it’s not the one in route 75.
I’m taking this to heart and packing the imodium!!!
Do it!
Done!
Sung to the tune of I’m a Rambler, I’m a Gambler. Try it! It works. (Plus no one to scoop up those pesky royalties for copyright.)
Well what do you know? Thanks Matt!
Very nice to see a post from you, and this rings one or two bells for me. I think I’ve had this moment as well !
Uh, oh! Ha, ha! Thanks Peter!
I miss this space, the wits and all. Hello Marissa!
Thanks for visiting Cecilia! I’ve been doing some freelance writing so it really takes a lot of time and some of the fun out of blogging. It’s nice to visit when I can!
Cool.
YAYAYAYAYAY!! You’re writing again!!! I am HOPING this is fictional because having the tummy blues is not my idea of fun in any form. LOVED this, Marissa!!! Just loved it!! Thank you! 🤣
Well, it’s based on Craig’s true story so… thanks for your kind words Amy!
Not cool but your story is. 🤣
I don’t believe anyone else has ever written about this, a poem no less. =)
Definitely an original topic, but I can’t take all the credit. I got a prompt!
But you sure ran with it! LOL. Good job.
LOL. A hurricane of laughter struck me with this one. Now come to think of it. There could be a song called “Hurricane Marissa”. “First she struck LA, then the City by Bay. Seattle better watch out. Next it’ll be Canada, eh.” That’s the best I can do with a moment’s notice.
I loved this one. It’s bad to the bone. 🙂
The poem is divine! So glad you liked this one!
I saw pics. on twitter of 1930s vending machines where you could get lit cigarettes & whisky!
I would rely on their quality way more than I would Imodium!
Creatively well written and visually stunning. When I read the title ‘Vending Machine Imodium” it reminded me how close family have been getting stomach flu. They had to take Imodium for it and they are feeling better now.
Amazing writing. 🙂 I’m back! and posted something. 🙂
Well then, I suppose it can be effective when it does not come from a vending machine!
Much high praise for your creative mind my friend. 🙂
P.S Stop by the discussion. Hope my poem didn’t give you too much of a headache. 🙂
Oh my goodness, Marissa! I take for granted you and your family are on summer and school vacation, but here you are “going strong!” 😉
*Wink wink 😉
I am hoping this *nudge *nudge will help you to forgive my lateness!
How’s your summer going? 🙂 🌞
Going great Robin…although I wouldn’t actually say going strong. My posts have been few and far between but I’ve been keeping busy so can’t complain! Tomorrow we are off to San Francisco for a couple of days.
How could I have missed this? Well, I know actually, I was on vacation and my phone service got so bad that I’d actually get a voice message a couple of days late! Nonetheless, I am happy you warned me about this and will do keep this in mind and stay away from Denny’s on Route 82 (wherever that is). It reminded me when we went on a road trip and did a stop at Gallup. After eating at this diner, I vomited a lot then fainted. Food poisoning, turns out.
Ugh! Sounds horrible! Luckily I have never had food poisoning. I like to think I have a stomach of steel but…who knows??
Better out than in, I suppose! 😀
I came by anday be in your awaiting approval area, Marissa! This is your mid-summer visit checking in and saying you will be on my next post as someone I wish I could go to vintage clothing shops or listen to you play and sing. Really, I just want to sit and chat with you. 😊
The newest Spider-Man Homecoming movie has the Ramones singing in it during action, I think. It is only PG 13 so maybe you’ll see and hear it, friend.
Thanks for checking in Robin. Thanks for letting me know about the Spider Man movie. My kids will be thrilled! The Ramones and Spider Man are two of their favorite things!
I’m taking another set of grandies tomorrow (Tuesday) 🕷 Fun movie! 🕸
Hahaha. well I will prescribe this poem to my patients along with the imodium itself ! Fantastic one Marissa, Hope you have been well 🙂
I guess humor can make good medicine! Thanks Zee!
It sure does ! You’re welcome:)