Mommy Goes Back To Metal: A Surly Middle-Aged Woman’s Review Of Ozzfest/Knotfest 2016

I digressed a bit from my usual interview kind of format to do a review of Knotfest/Ozzfest. It’s pretty funny. You can read it here. I have another article that I will post tomorrow that is truer to my usual format.

The fam relaxes on a grassy knoll away from the insanity.

The fam relaxes on a grassy knoll away from the insanity.

46 thoughts on “Mommy Goes Back To Metal: A Surly Middle-Aged Woman’s Review Of Ozzfest/Knotfest 2016

  1. It’s funny – I always think of Black Sabbath as rock and roll and not heavy metal, at least not what metal has morphed into. Ozzie hasn’t looked good in years! I wonder when he’s going to hang up his bat for good. As far as opening acts and headliners, I was mystified when I heard that Alice opened for Marilyn Manson. Good grief! How did that happen? Anyway, fantastic article, my friend! I enjoyed reading it.

    • Thank you! Yes, metal has definitely changed a lot over the years. The bands that were considered metal are now considered classic rock. I always considered Black Sabbath the godfathers of that since they’ve always been dark and doomy. Yes, and for sure, the music industry should have a little respect for these artists that have been around for years. I don’t care who’s selling more albums. Alice and Marilyn?? At least have the decency to sell it as a double bill!

  2. A cracking review type write…even have within the family collection a couple of albums by a couple of bands you mentioned…sadly not been to a proper heavy metal gig since Metallica and supporting acts at Wembley Stadium, July 2007 (shameful, yet I am 114 you must realize). Tweeted, of course!

  3. I was cracking up throughout the piece! Too many funny lines to repeat, but what a great and entertaining article. I don’t know my heavy metals, being terrible in chemistry and all, but I do know Suicidal Tendencies and just when I was like what were they doing there, you explained it to me. Plus, your mini mosh pit was excellent. I feel terribly inadequate in my parental cool factor now… though I suspect it was never in danger of being terribly high. Great read with the perfect amount of humor!

    • Thank you for reading. Well, as apparent at the end of the article, parental cool factors are over rated. I’m glad you enjoyed this one, even if you were trying to figure out the density of Suicidal Tendencies!

  4. That is so cool that the whole family had so much fun at that festival! I can totally imagine that you are feeling like thrown back in time. On a different note; your son is only 13? He looks much older!

  5. Sadly you lost me with the hurtful body shaming of the men in the beds of their pick up trucks. Likely they won’t pick up or end up in a bed. All men’s bodies are beautiful (some more than other like Ozzy)

  6. Love the personal touch with family photos, Marissa. Don’t know too much about metal groups, but I was a fan of Black Sabbath in my early days. Even had one their albums. Interesting read. πŸ™‚

  7. A heavy metal buffet would be, like, the 7th circle of Hell for me, but you covered the event in true Cheesebergen style. And Marissa? You are a totally relevant rock n’ roll star who is destined for the big time in your family band. Don’t let anyone tell you different. πŸ™‚

  8. Read your awesome article! What a weird lineup, and I could not have sat through a Slipknot show, especially if Slayer was their opener. I’ve always considered bands like Slipknot to be the “tweens” of “metal”. Slipknot is like the “Twilight” of hardcore, while Slayer is “Friday the 13th”. Ya know what I mean…

  9. Glad you didn’t get crushed mosh pitting…lol. Great article, Marissa! It is funny to hear that bands with the longevity are getting second and third billing. Looking forward to a Bergenfest one day…

    • So funny, we recently put a few bills together ourselves and my son suggested calling it Cheesefest. Think we might go with that one…ha, ha! Surprisingly enough, there wasn’t that much moshing. I was amazed that I didn’t even see a pit for Slayer. The fans are getting old.

  10. I think this is my favourite post of yours ever! So funny…edgy girls leaving where marilyn picks up (or something like that)…I’m not a metal fan but I too can say you’re raising them right – such a cute mosh video.

  11. Great post all around, Marissa! This was truly a wonderful review of the day and hilarious “tongue in teeth” playful story of a family outing! πŸ˜‰
    The music made me smile, since I love loud, live music! I would have been moshing and dancing, too! Your family retreating to a hill and sitting down was a nice photograph and good idea, too.
    Loved your getting up close and your photos were fantastic!
    The bands are ones I know a few songs from but like Guns n Roses, Slayer and Ozzie’s band. The others I had to look up and listen to. . .
    Needing help up off the ground is especially relevant to my nearly 61 year old body!! πŸ˜€

  12. Hi Marissa,
    You follow my friend Annabelle Troy. She recommended I check out your blog; it’s awesome. I know you mainly showcase heavy metal/rock; I am a singer who has an eclectic style, but if you are interested I am avail. for interviews. Hope you get a chance to check out my blog. I had a hit duet with Dean Friedman, Lucky Stars, in the ’70s, as well as other successful recordings, and am currently at work on a one-woman musical show. Hope you get a chance to check out my blog. Here is one of my posts,
    All the Best,

    • Hi Denise! Thank you for getting in touch! Yes, my articles cover locals artists and people in the community who are involved in the heavy metal, punk and hard rock genres. I listened to a bit of your music and it’s very pretty but seems to be pretty far from those genres. However, the fact that you played CB’s with NY punk veterans is impressive. If we were to interview, it would have to be more focused on your experiences back then (if you have any that may be interesting to fans of punk, metal, etc.) and may not so much cover you as an artist unless you were playing punk at some point. Let me know what you think, thanks.

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