It’s My Birthday Bitches!

It’s my birthday bitches
And you all just best stand down
I ain’t takin no tiara cause
I wear a full on crown

You can wish me well on Facebook
But what would be even better
Is some shiny leather hot pants
And a pink angora sweater

A sterling silver bracelet that
Snakes so around my wrist
Now let me just be patient while
You go write down your list

Don’t look at me all guilty and
Tell me you never knew
I’m accepting gifts tomorrow
And the day after that too

You can call me egotistical
Or say I’m immature
But I think I’m doing pretty good
For just turned 24

And tell my boss it’s likely I
Won’t be in till next Monday
It’s officially a holiday
In many foreign countries

So roll out the red carpet
And a highway to devote
To the annual procession
In my purple satin float

Take your mop and broom, and don’t you even
Think about those dishes
Leave the laundry for tomorrow
Cause it’s my birthday bitches.