Damned If You Do…

I’m getting sick of Mary’s selfies
Who’s she think she is
I’m getting sick of Violet’s nonstop
Pictures of her kids

And Danny with his attitude well
He deserves a punch
And thanks but I don’t want to see
What Linda had for lunch

Don’t really want to hear Faye’s Af-
firmations or reflections
Or see all Grace and Justin’s public
Displays of affection

And Sal we know you love your dog
More than words can say
There’s no need to remind us of that
Every single day

And Micah’s updates range from simply
Boring to mundane
And Val, just post a picture once
Your weight loss goal’s attained

Don’t want to know how much Kaye’s daughter
Loves the One Direction
Or watch the Blake’s soap opera unfold
In the comments section

And Jenna rants political
And Jon is downright odd
And Donna I don’t think I need
To go get right with God

And Dan’s son is the next Cobain
So he’d have you believe
As Miles posts up articles
That no one ever reads

But nobody has problems with
What I post on my wall
Of course that just might be because
I never post at all.


126 thoughts on “Damned If You Do…

  1. And of course Stephanie and her stupid kitchen/That she thinks is just so bitchin’!

    What a fun piece young (and clever!) Marissa! My fave part was the dog stanza … I don’t know anyone like that however. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    You’ve actually captured everyone I know on FB in such a rhymely timely way. Bravo!


    • Oh goodness, never even occurred to me that certain FB friends who are also bloggers might take this personally! Well, just so you know, I never think that about you…maybe it’s in your clever representation but love your inspiring decor and your little dog too!! Also, I know many pet parents who are much, much worse!

    • It’s hard not to do a political rant at this time of year. I, myself, am guilty of promoting my band on FB, maybe to the point of annoying people. I also post about my kids but try to keep it minimal. That was part of the irony though…it’s either be guilty of some of these things, or don’t post at all!

  2. So funny Marissa! The only thing posted on my FB is my blog. Well, some of that other stuff also. At least it isn’t all pray for me stuff. (If you could it would be good.)

  3. I can handle all of this – I have no problem with it – selfies, puppies, cats, children, dinner, etc …

    What makes me grind my teeth are the daily harangues about “I know who my real friends are who will copy and share this to their page ….”. I’ve actually had “friends” unfriend me because I didn’t. Really, people?!! … you need to get out more.

      • You know that expression ‘if you’re not with me, you’re against me’? That’s the logic a surprising number of people use with their content on social media.

        Having said that, I’ve had to unfriend a few people because of their racist and intolerant content. It’s been interesting to discover what some people are really like from the stuff they post on Facebook.

      • Yes, it can be very telling. My husband has deleted a few people that get too preachy. Fortunately, I’ve never had that problem being from NY. He’s from a small town in Indiana.

      • oh – never occurred to me that it might be a small town vs city thing, but it does fit.
        If I look at my city *friends* vs small town *friends*, the city seems to produce people who are much more open-minded and tolerant (noting of course that this is a broad-brush generalization).

  4. I like to see other’s lives unfold, but I am not crazy about daily updates. I went a little overboard with my grandson’s first birthday party. But at least it will be a year till he turns two! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I love food blogs even though I don’t cook. I am guilty of posting food (cupcakes, cereal, wine, bon bon’s) on WordPress, too. Oops! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  5. Very funny Marissa and topical too! I agree with joannesisco on posts that blackmail – I ignore them on principle. I do however, enjoy seeing or hearing about events or celebrations in friends’ lives. On that note, how’s the family band going? ๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽท๐ŸŽค

  6. Luckily for me, ALL of my FB posts are insightful, poignant, and let’s-face-it life changing! ๐Ÿ˜‡ Seriously though…I’m gonna lose it if one more friend posts about their “business” which is actually a big fat pyramid scheme!

    • Um… Kim…are you sure those are all real people?? Ha, ha! You’re one of those that no one can complain about since you rarely post. I think people could say I post too often about my band or my children… Especially the band. But you gotta promote, right?

      • Unfortunately they are real people, but I can’t unfriend them because I work with them. My soul screams because I know they’re getting scammed by a company that rhymes with lit perks! You’re promoting your family band. That’s tangible and real, and I’ll never fault you for promoting that.

      • Well thanks Kim! Sometimes I see other bands that constantly post about their bands and I get annoyed so I have to wonder if I’m being annoying too. Of course, like I told my husband, it’s not like you see Honda commercials every day and get annoyed an/or decide you’re never going to be a Honda. FB is a great marketing tool so you kind of have to use it. As far as your co-workers go though, you can always unfollow them. That’s what I do with my friends that annoy me.

      • Funny how you say that! I overheard a conversation of friends (?) here in the train about how one “back in the day” and the other one challenged, “post it on FB” Can one not make conversation anymore? Why the need for “proof?” Well I don’t know them both personally to know if one is telling the truth or not. Any picture could be fabricated nowadays, anyways.

      • That’s true. I often will post photos on FB, especially if I really like them or they mark a big occasion but I just don’t take selfies and post them. I will rarely just post conversation unless it’s topical. Most people won’t read posts if they’re words only anyway.

      • Some people just flood FB with their everyday life. Now, I’m thinking is that how I am with mine? But it’s a blog!
        And why is that? If only words were posted, why most people won’t read them? It’s not interesting enough?

  7. Hey, came back from a hiatus to this gem! So glad to be reading this in the morning! You’ve hit the nail on the head as far as social media and incessant posting goes ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Hence the reason why I do not get involved with Facebook or IG. There was one point I was getting hundreds of emails from family just from FB and I had to uncheck them as good friends so I would not have a cluttered email box. Crazy. Don’t people have better things to do then sit and post on social media? I have a difficult enough time staying caught up on WP. Great poem, one that made me laugh, Marissa, and yes so so true!!! Thank you!! โค

  9. Great poem Marissa. You’ve got the rhythm rhyme thing down to an art. no pun. Mike has pics of his Big toe online…searching.

  10. Good to see that regardless of where in the world you are, social media delivers pretty much the same nonsense. Although I am partial to a cat pic….

  11. Loved it! I’m an observer, but stay away from the drama of FB. I almost felt like telling a casual FB friend that they should look into seeing a therapist, but zipped my lips. Ha ha!

  12. Very funny, Marissa! And the picture you chose made me laugh ๐Ÿ˜€
    I have a fake FB with only 17 friends. I chose not to see when 12 of them post something and I still feel it’s TOO MUCH information ๐Ÿ™‚

The Blood Trail Starts Here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s