Photobombed In Brooklyn

Archie hated people. He didn’t want to talk to them, he didn’t want to live with them, and he certainly didn’t want to work with them. As a result, he shunned society by living in a cardboard box under the L on 86th St. in Brooklyn, and that suited him just fine.

One day, when Archie was out scavenging for food, he caught sight of Alice. He wasn’t sure what it was about Alice…perhaps the disproportionate amount of doughy flesh on the backsides of her arms, but she reminded him of his dear mama who he’d last seen when she told him he was birthed in a dumpster in the back of the Coney Island AppleBees. That was right before she ran off with Mario from Mario’s Pizza and Doughnuts on the M75 to fulfill her dreams of becoming the Donut Queen of Long Island. But in any case, his heart, which he hertofore had dismissed as no longer capable of doing much more than keeping him alive, albeit in the flimsiest of manners, skipped a beat. He felt an undeniable urge to bond with this human Alice of the Fleshy Arms and he began running towards her.

It just so happened that Alice was just in the middle of snapping a picture with her cousin Mavis who she hadn’t seen in a dog’s age (her words not mine). Archie came close but never did quite make it to Alice, who he was hoping to embrace, by the time the picture was taken.

Now, unbeknownst to Archie, Alice was on the the tail end of a 15 minute bout of fame spurred when a Youtube video of her laughing maniacally at a wind up parakeet that shouted out swear words in Chinese somehow went viral.

Also unbeknownst to Archie, the photo of her and Mavis would end up on Alice’s Facebook page bearing the caption #photobombedinbrooklyn.

So while this picture of Archie photobombing Alice was getting shared, tweeted and retweeted, Archie’s heart strings were still acting up. He hence ended up photobombing many, including a man who’s balding pate recalled memories of his favorite uncle, Heroin Harry and a particularly photogenic chihuahua who reminded him of the feral cat who used to claw through his dumpsters til old ma threw a shoe at it.

So Archie’s fame rose in social media circles by fans who called him Photobombing Phil, (because they didn’t know his name was Archie) and all sorts started to line up on 86th St. outside Archie’s cardboard box, taking photos that they hoped Archie would photobomb. The masses included washed up actresses wishing to revamp their careers, hipsters who found Phil delightfully ironic and debutantes who decided being Photobombed by Archie would be the height of slumming it. There were even some who brought their sick relatives believing Archie had strange and magical healing powers. Bootleggers sold shirts that said things like I Got Photobombed in Brooklyn and I Took A Still With Phil!

But all efforts were in vain as Archie soon decided that his misadventures were due to telepathic messages coming to his brain through iPhone batteries as well as a bad case of acid reflux from the subway fumes. So Archie decided to relocate to an abandoned industrial warehouse in Williamsburg were he was killed in an unfortunate accident involving a button holing machine he wrongly assumed was inoperative. His body was never found.

This is a picture of me and my cousin with my kids in Brooklyn getting photobombed. It inspired the blog which is otherwise fictionalized and, no, my cousin does not have disproportionately fleshy arms.

This is a picture of me and my cousin with my kids in Brooklyn getting photobombed. It inspired the blog which is otherwise fictionalized and, no, my cousin does not have disproportionately fleshy arms.

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49 thoughts on “Photobombed In Brooklyn

  1. “I took a still with Phil”… haha… So, you could say that Archie/Phil was… ehem.. da bomb! (ok, totally lame, yep, now that I read it, I see it…still not deleting it though).

  2. Read it twice young Marissa. First time to absorb the style; second to read the tale. Both reads read better than anything else I have, or likely will read this day. Bravo moment…I expect you to take a bow, of course.

  3. She does kinda have longish arms though, doncha think? This makes a brilliant character study and I adored it so much, I re-read it four times. Take that Mike Steeden. And how do I get people to refer to me as “Young Stephanie” when they leave me comments? I would even take “Youngish Stephanie with fleshy arms.”

    • Yes, Stephanie, um, I mean…Young Stephanie of the Quite Well Toned Arms (how’s that for you?) my cousins arms to look disproportionately long, now that you mention it. Well, she is 5’8 you know….but still….
      So glad you enjoyed it!

  4. You know, after I read this I did look closely at the photo to see some fleshy arms! Of course all flesh is propotionate and lean which leads me to my next thought: you have a wonderful imagination! Loved the story and characters. I wish Photobombing Phil was aware of his inspiration, for real. Looks like Alice extended her 15 minutes of fame to at least 20. Her story reminded me of the Chewbaca lady laughing uncontrolably over her new Star Wars mask. Perhaps she needs to get in touch with Archie.

    • Yes, actually, the whole idea of the disproportionately fleshy arms was inspired by a woman who was walking down my block some weeks later when I was back home in Burbank. Alice’s fame story was supposed to be a direct spoof on the Chewbaca lady so I’m glad you picked up on that. Now, if we could only track down the photobomber!

  5. How you come up with your ideas is beyond me. The way you wove together this story with such flair and magic is another thing all together. This is so awesome, Marissa. Your imagination rivals none!! I LOVED this!!!! LOL ❤

  6. You’ve created a regular soap opera here. It could replace all those boring soap opera shows on tv. “Photobombed in Brooklyn” could be a big hit. It’s sure better than a lot of stuff on tv.

  7. Love the idea of “Photobombed in Brooklyn!” (Though I’ve never been). If your cousin is 5’8″, you must be around there too (guessing from the picture).
    Too bad, Archie had to move and then die. The legend is dead.

  8. What fantastic gritty characters! Photobombers seem to be everywhere. The guy in your photo cracks me up. This is really funny, Marissa. The fleshy arms freak me out a bit. I religiously work on my arms to avoid just that, but every since I hurt my back, I can’t lift my weights. I guess it could be worse, I could live under the L on 86th street… 🙂

  9. I’m liking your new story telling style! I can just imagine what treats are hidden away in other photos 🙂

    yes – I loved ‘still with Phil’ too 😀
    … but it begs the question, if a photo is staged to get bombed, is it still a photo bomb? My deep thought for the day 😉

  10. Marissa,

    I LOVE your new format. I really dig how your mind goes to these places and captures them in a crazy beautiful frenzy whose snapshot is this! Great writing is supposed to make you feel a place, and the people who inhabit it. This, is great writing.

    And go Brooklyn! Like, forever.

    Peace

  11. Just think of all the money you’ll save in the family newsletter. Just add a horn for Yom Kippur. A Menorah for Hanukkah, and a devil sign for “Rock on”! You’ll have to superimpose your husband’s face on to your cousin, but I see this as a win-win.

  12. Marissa, this was so hilarious and you crack me up! Archie is a great name for this wacky character who is attracted from afar to Alice. 🙂
    So glad I am off on vacation at my Mom’s, enjoying the “senior lifestyle!”
    Anyway, my last week of work was long, hot and I missed your fantastic photo bombing post! 🙂
    Thank you for your continuing visits despite my lack of reciprocal visits. You know, three seasons a year I am fairly good at keeping up. I really like how cute your daughter is, how handsome your son is, with you and your cousin being attractive, too. In other words, great photo! Husband, I assume, taking this wonderful memory.

    • Thanks, glad you liked it and thank you for your kind words Robin! You’re a friend so I rarely look at it like, she did or didn’t read my post so I will or won’t read hers. As long as I see your blogs out there, you know I’ll read them!

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