Poison Pens

They say our love was toxic and
It ran it’s fated course
It’s no surprise we’re headed for
A quite ugly divorce

I didn’t like the way you breathed
I drained your life of joy
I cheated with the chauffeur and
You slept with the pool boy

You took the dog you took the yacht
Said you were unfulfilled
But I think it’s a little much
To go and have me killed

But if you want to play that game
Then go do as you please
Cause now you are a victim of
Venereal disease

You should have got that looked at but
You thought you would be fine
So now I’ll have to castrate you
Right there in chapter nine

And maybe that’s a little harsh
Or maybe downright evil
But you don’t even want to know
What happens in the sequel

Where there will be no limits to
The ways in which you’ll suffer
You just may lose your job and have to
Move in with your mother

Followed by such grievances
And all in my defense
Let’s talk about a series of
Unfortunate events

Most venomous of poison pens
That ever did exist
And leaves yours in the dust trails of
The Times bestseller list

The royalties are rolling in
But you have the last laugh
For your well planned hesitation now
I have to give you half

 

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