The Battle of The Bowl

The Bathroom tried to kill me
There’s conspiring in the plumbing
Sink told the Soap who told the Bowl
To be warned I was coming

The Toilet sat there mocking me
As soon as I came in
It interrupted my time there
With an ungodly din

It flushed itself a thousand times
It couldn’t get enough
Well that is, it finally stopped
Right after I got up

The Water would not sense my hands
I yelled I screamed I spat
A woman used same Sink with ease
Two seconds after that

And on the Soap I gave up hope
I pushed upon it thricely
On counter pumped a giant lump
It sudsed that up quite nicely

Then off to battle Paper Towels
Hand Dryer I did doubt it
It gave a look as if to say
“Don’t even think about it!”

And naught a Towel was dispensed
I pulled upon it plenty
Until of course my back was turned
And then came one and twenty

And so I ran from the Bathroom
I ran from it quite fast
And thought my luck to be alive
Was having the last laugh

But home I found that I was wrong
For I’d naught had a clue
My dress was tucked into my hose
Bath tissue on my shoe

Inspired by my friend Nimi at Simple Moments of Life and her post Slow on The Uptake.

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90 thoughts on “The Battle of The Bowl

  1. I am not a fan of technology in the restrooms! Sometimes the sensors blast the water all over my pants, which isn’t a good look when exiting the mens room.

  2. Ah ah ah. i have known a few similar mishaps and specially the automatic flushing toilet that flushes just when it deems fit πŸ˜€ . Hilarious write as usual πŸ™‚

  3. Ugh – the dreaded dress tucked into the pantyhose! That’s the final insult after fighting with technology in the washroom. The overly enthusiastic flushers are the worst offenders!!

  4. I always thought I suffered from some weird disruption in my electrical aura when those things happened to me… it’s comforting to know there are other sufferers. Maybe there should be a support group? Loved it.

      • Probably not as much as what’s on a man’s though. I work in an office with all men. They are not there often but they do stop in to use the bathroom. Absolutely disgusting! I can’t even begin….I hung up a sing asking them to try to keep the room clean but it didn’t do any good.

  5. Ohh, this is so me, Marissa! I have battles with the soap which does NOT automatically dispense while the toilet flushes and splashes upward constantly!
    The towels which get stuck and don’t come out and dryers don’t blow. You captured this crazy automotive mess! πŸ™‚

  6. Thanks for the laugh, Marissa. What I dread the most is when there is no toilet paper. At least with hands, one can wipe them on one’s pants. Wonderfully true and funny ! Loved the first line, “the bathroom tried to kill me.” πŸ™‚

  7. Hahaha so I’m not the only one who’s stood there trying to get a tap on and looking like I’m trying to do some magic spell. Great ending (and middle, and beginning!). I like the image you used too.

  8. So funny! I smiled because this actually happened in an office where I worked, the poor woman walked the entire length (and it was a long walkway) with her skirt hiked in the top of her panty hose.
    I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, run out and walk behind her…! Have a beautiful day Marissa! ❀

  9. Things with sensors are very annoying! You try to wash your hands and it seems that the water only comes as soon as you take your hands away… The same with the toilet, it flushes all the time except when you are done! πŸ™‚

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