Getting It Honest

Well it says the wheels will spin
It sings and plays the violin
And then it does a big old flip and splits in two
Well you might want to say a prayer
Or throw some salt into the air
But best to be prepared with duct tape and some glue

So you find a doll that’s nice
And so conveniently priced
She cries out mama as she blinks a thick eyelash
But do consider if you please
The added cost of batteries
When they run out you’ll probably throw her in the trash

I don’t know what they think they’re doin’
It’s another birthday ruined
And quite frankly it’s all getting kind of old
They’re so excited to be getting
But if Betsy isn’t wetting
Might as well just throw her in the toilet bowl

Now it’s completely up to you
But I say time to get a clue
To purchase faulty toys as seems to be our wont
But it’s hard to teach a lesson
Battling 6 year old’s obsessions
Yet the more they say they do they probably don’t

And though they may be sad and blue
Tell them that mommy needs new shoes
The strappy kind with those high heels that kind of hurt
But I guess they got it honest
The shoes just sittin’ in a closet
Right by that walkie talkie set that never worked

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64 thoughts on “Getting It Honest

  1. Marissa this brings back memories of when my girls were little and I spent so much time putting batteries in their dolls, ha ha. For sure we have too much junk. Someone pointed out before that most garages are filled with such that the cars have to sit out in the elements.

    • That’s exactly what my friend was telling me. She said her son was saving all of his toys for when he has a son and they are filling up the garage to the point that they can’t fit the cars. And he’s only 15!!!

  2. “Mommy needs new shoes!” Now I’ve warned you about this gambling habit the child of yours has time and time again young Marissa. Control the infant, else it shall lead to ruin!

      • Oh dear…is this really the response of caring mother I ask myself? Pull yourself together young Marissa…God I’m tired, the missus left me so many duties to perform while she gallivants with girly chums in Madeira…even the instructions as to how to use the washing machine, although perhaps adequate, did not tell me which channel in the little draw at left top of the machine the blue liquid stuff must be poured into…I am quite at my wits end!

      • Well, you try a bit of this, a bit of that. If it’s bubbling all over the laundry room, I’m afraid you may have made a mistake but, look at it this way…you’ll know for next time!

      • Well the washing did seem to come out clean, yet with the weather fair I went into town for coffee having heeded her advice that ‘If it’s a nice day hang it on the washing line in the garden’…while out the heavens opened and it’s all pissed wet through now…plus she never told me how to use the dryer!

      • The dryer is easier than the washer. I have faith in you Mike. If you push enough of the buttons you can’t go wrong. Might need to wash all of that again though…

      • I did take a long hard look at the dryer before deciding that ‘it’ and I would likely never get on…good fortune has smiled though for in the cafรฉ a lady overheard my whinging about household chores has taken over the task…she wanted no money yet obviously I insisted on paying. Bingo, I am going to ask, when she’s finished the ironing (I am a tad afraid of the iron thing as it emits steam, not unlike a dragon emit fire) if she’ll vacuum also…best never tell Shirl though as I want her to believe I did all this myself! Being a loyal chap I best add at this point that while it is the case this kind lady is attending to some of my needs, plainly not all of them!

  3. This was awesome, Marissa. It brought back memories of too many Happy Meal trinkets and abandoned My Little Pony parts in the back of the closet.
    My kiddos are mostly grown, and I’m still finding air soft pellets in the basement.

  4. Toys are still major pains in my life, Marissa. I am always buying batteries, using duct tape (seriously) to put a few things back together and hiding flaws with varied processes! Christmas used to be a combined event of joy and sorrow. Ooh, I love Legos until they are stepped on or vacuumed up! ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Lincoln Logs and Legos ….. Yep, indestructible! Quality seems to have been thrown out these days and I swear things are made on purpose to break after so many uses or a push of a button. Yep, I’ll stick with good and true …. Simple. Great poem, Marissa!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

  6. I’m not saying shoes are a wasted purchase (at least not to a woman on her own blog (that’s nothing shy of asking to be murdered)), but I have made many purchases that I have never gotten my monies worth from… so, what I’m saying is… I feel your pain.

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