Mentioning the Unmentionables

Ones that button ones with fur
Ones with room for him and her
Lacey, leather, sexy, black
Ones that whale tail up your back

Ones all torn and ripped and stained
Ones embroidered with your name
Boy shorts, low rise, a fig leaf
Or just your boyfriend’s boxer briefs

Ones that zip so they’re accessible
Ones that are completely edible
From erotic catalogues
Or even a pair for your dogs

One with little pockets sewn
A perfect place to hold your phone
Christmas ones with bright lights blinking
Wonder what the hell you’re thinking

Stringy ones just barely there
Ones like your granny would wear
Ones with faces on each cheek
One for each day of the week

On cold days best to make em thermal
Pack it in a modern girdle
And god forbid if there’s a scene
Take mom’s advice make sure they’re clean

Written courtesy of the prompt and not so gentle prodding of Stephanie at Once Upon Your Prime. Love you Stephanie, thanks!

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68 thoughts on “Mentioning the Unmentionables

  1. My Auntie Pat used to change hers every time she popped up to the shops just up the road in case she got run over by a bus and thereafter rushed to hospital…the thing was the shops were on the same side of the road as her house! Odd woman thinking back.

  2. Hahahaha!!!!! Thank you!!

    “One with little pockets sewn
    A perfect place to hold your phone
    Christmas ones with bright lights blinking
    Wonder what the hell you’re thinking”

    Fave stanza!!! And re: first 2 lines, can’t wait for scientists to report on research of what that causes!

    It’s good to know you take poetry “requests” (demands?!) Marissa. I will try to be the 100th caller a lot more now and not only make more requests but start dedicating them to old boyfriends.

  3. Giggles! This gave me belly laughs and chest tightness all at once. My mother in law used to come do laundry while I traveled out of town. My husband said she had a comment every time she folded my underwear. And there’s the chest tightness again 🙂

    • Oh goodness, chest tightness?? I should probably put some sort of disclaimer on my blog, ha, ha! Yes, underwear is always awkward, especially with in-laws. I think she should have considered herself lucky that there was enough there to fold.

      • You’re so right about the comment “that there was enough to fold.” I use to fold my oldest daughter’s laundry a few years back. She was going to university, living with me and too busy for laundry at times. I volunteered to be helpful and actually there was no folding involved with stringy-like thingies. Ha ha! In my past younger years, they hadn’t been invented yet. 🙂

  4. Let me ask you this. What don’t you write about? At first I had NO clue what you were talking about, and then I got it about the third stanza. I’m real quick today. 😉 Where did I leave that brain? You had me laughing out loud with this one. You are amazing!! See what happens when you are pushed? LOL

  5. Oh my goodness!!! 😀 I am smiling so big, a goofy grin. Anyway, I have 6 or more pairs if sexy undies, but they have been sitting in my underwear drawer for a year. I have 8 or 9 pairs of cotton bikini undies. They are “cute” either stars or flowers but cotton is very good for work, less perspiring and no heat rashes! 😉

  6. Perfect. And yes, make sure they are clean. Because as I told my mom.. if I’m dead, that’s the thing you are going to worry about… thanks Mom.

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