I’d like to fiercely look at kids
Outside my bedroom window
And, who cares if I won or not?
I’ll randomly yell “Bingo!”
My face will be carefully set
In an unpleasant frown
Draw one eyebrow that’s going up
The other going down
Pack my purse with hard candies
Of all sorts til it’s leaden
Enough to certify it as
A well known lethal weapon
Put on some eau du Bengay just
To mask that mothball smell
Ask “what was that?” although I can
Hear you perfectly well
Hold up people needlessly
At grocery store lines
Drive slowly while my blinker light
Is going at all times
Remember everything but still
Demand that you remind me
And don’t you dare to tell me that
My best years are behind me
This poem is in response to Amanda at Just In Queso to write a prompt to your future self. Here’s her take on it: https://justinqueso.wordpress.com/2016/02/09/letter-to-future-me/
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 
The prototype of a malicious old lady! Too funny! Now I know that they only play being old…. lol
The scary thing is my husband says this is how I am now!
😂😂😂 And you still have some time to improve these “qualities” until you are old..Never mess up with Granny Marissa 😂
Old lady you is pretty cool. Awesome piece
Thanks!
I am sure you will be a delight across the passage of time young Marissa
I’ve no doubt being that I’m sure everything is this poem will come to light. In fact, it’s not so different from how I am today,
Pure as the driven snow you are
You know, I think you might be on to something in this poem. A bit more truth than I think the elderly would care for you to admit. Although I might be looking over my shoulder for a while if I were you, there might be a walker being thrown at you for outing them.
The Elderly Mafia strikes again, eh? Every time I pass a nursing home there’s always some shifty looking guy out front telling me to watch my back!
Telling you to watch it or him telling you he will watch it?
It was actually him telling me but I like it the other way too!
This is too funny! My grandfather used to do that. Stare at me for hours pretending not to hear or see – then blow off!
Sounds like quite a guy…and not too different from my grandfather either, come to think of it. I think it’s all part of a grand scheme!
You may be on to something here. It’s a secret code or something.
Was it Bette Davis that said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies”? You have to be a tough old bird to survive. Or at least that’s what I’ll tell myself if I turn into a jerk! 😄
I’d never heard that saying before but judging on what I’ve seen and know, I’d say it’a about right.
YOU like this? Nah! You must be mixing yourself with someone else! Happens to the best of us!
My husband says I’m already half way there!
*horror face* NOOOOO! Well, I disagree with him! So there!
Ha, ha! Thanks Amy!
Yum. Bengay and mothballs. Brings back some fond memories for me! All I need to complete the image is plastic covered furniture.
Ah yes, I believe I forgot to add a line about the plastic coverings!
I had an aunt who wouldn’t let me sit on the couches even WITH the plastic. I remember it well!
Oh gosh! What did she do…make you sit on the floor? Or was there some old plastic chair reserved especially for you?
No! She made me sit in the kitchen, while the adults were in that room. Imagine?
That could do permanent damage.
Your future self is a long way off, young lady! 🙂
Hey, it goes by quickly! Just preparing myself you know!
😊
I would fear Revenge of The Children who might commit me to The Home using this as proof of my senility 😉
Right, mental note to delete this post as soon as the will is issued!
hehehehehe!!!
I think I’m already doing some of this, ha ha, except holding up people in the grocery line. I’m always in a hurry to get out of there 🙂
Just wait until you have a little more time on your hands!
Oh no, The Horror!
I’m taking notes for my very soon and upcoming old lady days. In fact, I probably already do most of these….
Join the club!
I like having friends like Ben Gay and Arthur Itis. I’ll keep the turn signal flashing for you.
Love, love love this! So glad you did it. The line about holding up people at the grocery store is straight up my Grandma. She knows others are waiting for her, and she couldn’t care less.
You will make an awesome elderly woman – I can just imagine a punk grandma 😀
I’m glad you like it Amanda! I know it took a while to get it out but it was a great prompt! Here’s to punk grandma’s everywhere!
very impressed …tone and tempo with an edge …finger snaps ( and toe taps) from Chicago ….
Thanks so much!
And make eyes at all the hot young guys!
Darn! Another verse I left out!
No, you just let me use it. You’re so nice that way.
I am?? I mean…I am!!
😉
Beware of the rock and roll super granny, dentures and all!
Oh yes, that will be me! How could I have missed that?
Must’ve been the bengay!
Well all the more power to you Marissa !!You’d be a pro at it 😀
Yes, after all these years of practice, I would think so!
I don’t doubt it 😀
You made me laugh, what a special way to start the day.
Glad to hear…the very least I can do.
Being old sounds so fun… I mean, a purse packed with candy? Damn. I’m glad Bengay perfume isn’t a real thing. That shit makes me gag haha
When this type of behavior becomes what’s expected to you, I would think it would be tons of fun…except maybe the Bengay!
A great write for your future self. Where’s the time capsule.
I think the question should be ‘what’s in the time capsule?’
LOL
I’m halfway there. I can’t wait to hold people up in the grocery line and Bengay my mean way around the nursing home, pinching male nurse’s behinds, while munching on some candy. Brilliantly funny as always, Marissa
You go girl!
Loved the poetic humorous take on talking to your future self. I am sure you will be cool, rocking till the day that you join the great band in the sky.
The photo cracked me up with see no evil, hear no evil and say no evil. The person covering his nose,”Smell no evil.” Definitely will need to remember this around the incontinence in seniors. 😀
Now, I’m the one who is late in answering your comments. Don’t know how this one got by me. Anyway…smell no evil, ha, ha!
Very nice, Marissa!
There is a chance that your future self won’t have many friends 😀
Considering that I don’t have many friends now, I really don’t doubt it!
I don’t believe that! 🙂
You are awesome!
Awwwe shucks!
🙂
Ha ha..I can so imagine this Marissa