The Man Flu

My husband has a cold
You all know how that goes
He might just sneeze himself to death
Die of a stuffy nose

My husband has a cold
He feels a little hot
He might be taken by a chill
Or drown in phlegm and snot

My husband has a cold
We ask you that you mind
Our family’s grief and privacy
During this trying time

And saying please sit tight
To all friend’s and relations
Or visit our Crowdfunding Page
To make a nice donation

Because he’s been through tissues
Bout three of four feet deep
Along with all the chicken soup
And Nyquil isn’t cheap

My husband has a cold
I hear it is the worst
He says a cough might take him out
But I might get him first.

Inspired by my friend Rob at The V-Pubย who knows The Man Flu all too well.

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102 thoughts on “The Man Flu

  1. I was in New Hampshire last week, trying to have the Presidential candidates commit to having millions of research dollars committed to this new scourge of the 21st century. As you know, I was fortunate to have recovered from a serious episode of manflu recently, so I know of these dangers very well. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. I had taken copious notes of my illness in between eating dorito chips and watching re-reruns of Star Trek last week.

    • Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me and my family at a time like this and I know how deeply you feel my husband’s pain. I think what’s called for here is that you do send these copious notes directly to my husband and…oh what’s that…yes, he’s also asking for the Doritos. Also, can your wife send me some kind of advice as to how she made it through this difficult time without murdering you? Thanks again.

  2. The poor, poor chap…I mean young Marissa surely you know the sore throat that inevitably accompanies the sort of flu us chaps suffer pains far more than even childbirth…have pity on him

  3. Way to channel your frustration, Marissa,……and I do know how very frustrating that can be! Personally, I think that Crowdfunding page should be for the wives to take off for quieter climes till the husband recovers.

  4. These poor fellows..oh how they suffer. Thanks Marissa for bringing their plight to the attention of the world. Maybe a medicine can be invented soon so they won’t have to suffer as deeply….so very funny, men and their drama!

  5. I am hysterically laughing in the car while eating my supper, using wi-fi and not wishing to sit with people.
    Men are definitely like the babies we raised, my ex-husband could not change sheets while sick nor remember not to use the special guest towels. Grr-rr!
    My oldest daughter has an ex who could not watch their son due to “being sick!” She had made plans. It was okay, I could watch him but she told him, “Next time I am sick You will take our son!”
    Men! Can’t live with them, can’t live without ’em!” ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. There should be a ‘love’ button on here. This made me laugh loudly on the train. I have experienced the suffering that comes with this tragic illness. Last time he was inflicted, my partner reminded me, without a hint of irony that ‘people die of the flu, you know?’ Haha. In the interest of maintaining my relationship I just nodded and had a suitably sympathetic expression. Great post! Now I must read the other comments as I’m sure there are some doozy’s (is that a word?).

  7. Nailed it. Need to get stock in tissue and Nyquil. Men seem to go from one extreme to another. Hubby went to work with a broken back once, though we didn’t know that till much later.

  8. Man Flu is the WORST!!! How are you holding up? Have you hidden the sharp knives and weapons…at least through today’s Valentine’s celebrations?
    How on earth do you keep so sharp and fresh? You’ve not written a single poem that I haven’t loved. Seriously!

  9. When I have a cold, you won’t find me at home commanding my wife’s doting attention. I’ll probably be at work, or doing something else out of the house. She mother’s me which is nice, but I don’t particularly care for it. Mainly because I like things a certain way, and she doesn’t know how to do it that way (or she does, but doesn’t.. either/or). Except PB&J…. yeah, my daughter needs to make me those… not when I’m sick, that would be disgusting.

  10. I’ve had about enough of this man-flu, man-cold thing. I’m going to post about it, I swear, and start up a Lysistrata-style resistance not by withholding sex, but by refusing to kill spiders, centipedes, and stink bugs, not checking the oil when you haven’t for 8 months and you’re down 4 quarts, and suggesting openly and often that maybe you’re all making just a little more out of those cramps than you might. And I’m not going to even mention the headaches–who has that many headaches?

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