Do Unto Neighbors…

The pervert with his robe agape
To best show off his fat
The mother down the hall who’s proud
To raise her two mean brats

The hipsters who get loud at night
And act nerdy and smug
The girls who giggle ‘hind thin walls
Cars pull up with their drugs

The foreign family’s footsteps sound
Like hippos passing by
And sadsack Carol’s chitchat’s duller
Then if you watch paint dry

The dirty slobs, bad parking jobs
Lack of consideration
The smoke from cigarettes waft in
Our window’s ventilation

The ones who are too friendly worse
Those not friendly enough
But none will beat those that will dare
To complain about us.

This one was inspired by Phil Taylor and his post 10 Ways My Neighbors Annoy Me. Thanks Phil!


83 thoughts on “Do Unto Neighbors…

  1. The bane of my existence! I have nice, but nosey neighbors. You’re right – the too friendly ones are the worse. Boundaries are void.

  2. Good one! I have to say that we have basically always been lucky with our neighbours whether in apartments or now in our house… except when we lived in Buffalo. We lived in a townhouse and our neighbours were 9 people who were running a Chinese restarurant. When they came home at 11 at night, they trampled up and down the stairs, shouted and screamed from one floor to the other and did not care at all about the thin walls…. it was annyoing because we had a toddler and a newborn sleeping on the other side of that wall!

    • Oh gosh, that’s really horrible! Did you confront them? We have noisy neighbors downstairs now. I don’t think they are even going out of their way to be loud but they stay up late talking and watching TV and, I guess because we have hard wood floors the acoustics make them seem really loud. I always worry that they will wake up the kids but they seem to sleep right through and I can’t hear them from my bedroom so I guess I’ll just leave well enough alone.

      • One night I bumped against the wall and shouted over. I was so furious. I also called the office twice. Oh yes, I forgot the TV and them listening to musice when they came home… But as your kids… mine did never wake up either… but I did! It is very annoying and each time more! Did you say something already?

      • Yes, I bet! Thankfully kids are really sound sleepers, but us adults are not as lucky. I’ve called the police on partying neighbors before but it’s easier to do if they are actually throwing a party as opposed to just making excessive amounts of noise.
        These neighbors are young kids and have different people living there all the time. I have called the police on them and they were quiet for a while but started up again. Maybe new kids…but they are not really partying, just hanging out and talking and watching TV and since no one is being kept awake, I haven’t said anything.

      • I think it must have been really bad until you were ready to call the police. And it is difficult as you say when they are “only” watching TV and talking loud. As you said, as long as nobody is kept awake… But living in such an apartment complex everybody needs to be aware that the walls are thin and is supposed to be thoughtful…

  3. Hahaha! It’s slightly different here with apartments, with borrowers, nosey parkers, peepholers (who look thru to see who’s coming & going), although the noisemakers and the snooty ones are universal

  4. 3AM high heels clicking upon pavement; on mobile (cell I think you call it) bellowing to partner indoors no doubt once fast asleep that she’s only 100 yards away and will be home soon…it is her who I should a copy of this poem to!

    • When I was young and lived in Manhattan I would come home late and no one cared. When I moved to L.A., there was a guy downstairs who hated us for it, and not like we went out of our way to disturb him but I guess our platform high heels just made a lot of noise. He used to go down to the garage where there was a fuse for the whole building and turn off our electricity.

      • What a nasty chap! Do you not think however that whereas drunkard males can be almost the ultimate nuisance the dreaded curse of one or two girls coming home late bellowing into their phones (which they don’t really need as no doubt the person they are calling can hear them anyway) more likely to cause loss of sleep…it’s the shrill pitch of the voice I think

      • A question for the ages I think. I don’t know if this one can qualify as a feminist issue. What do you think? Let’s just say they’re equally as bad when one is trying to sleep!

  5. I guess in the grand scheme of things, I can’t really complain about neighbours. In a previous house, I was convinced there was a biker gang across the street, but in the grand scheme of things, they never bothered us sooooo ….

    On the other hand, I have no idea what the neighbours might be saying about us. One could say we’ve always been a bit of an oddity no matter where we lived 😉

  6. I think I’m going to stay where I’m at……these possible neighbours you describe sound much too much for me to deal with!

  7. I didn’t know you lived in my building! I think you already know about my neighbor issues, so it’s nice to know I’m far from the only one dealing with obnoxious neighbors. Of course, we’re perfect Angels, so that last line killed me! Too funny.

  8. All of this is really familiar! Noisy- check, Smelly cigarettes- check, Talking in the hallway- check. Cooking after midnight! I hate this! I wake up and search for a snack, Marissa. 😦
    Most of our fellow bloggers probably have homes but I am still in an apt building where college kids, special needs adults and some elderly live. I know this may not annoy anyone else but at least once a week there is someone at my door to ask for: a cup of sugar, egg (s), laundry detergent or get this, a beer or two! I think I smile too much in the halls. The man above me works at the Cracker Barrel I worked at. He is blessedly quiet. The man next door to me calls the police and also gets cars towed, people who are visiting. I call him the “Narc.”

    • I live in an apartment too (as if you couldn’t tell). I think I’ve managed to distance all of them in the few years we’ve been here. The guy in the front is kind of like that Narc guy and he picks on my kids so war there. The woman with the brat, the brat used to be friends with my daughter but she was just too mean so that’s over, Sadsack…every time she passes by I pick up my cell phone…think she’s starting to get the idea…the noisy kids downstairs we called the police on a few times and the giggling girls couldn’t care less about us. And that’s really it! It’s a small building!

  9. It took a while after moving to our house to stop walking around softly to not disturb the people downstairs. Ahhhh…the bliss of having no neighbours above or below us and none on either side for a few 100 metres!

    • Yes, we’ve done both apartment living and we’ve lived in houses. A house is slightly better that way although we did once live in a neighborhood with very close noisy neighbors. The good thing about our downstairs neighbors being noisy is that I don’t worry too much about tiptoeing around.

      • We had an upstairs neighbour who used to practice guitar late at night and accompany it with foot tapping. The fact he inly ever played on tune was equally annoying! Speaking of annoying, i replied to your comment on my blog and then somehow deleted it and marked your comment as spam! I really should stop doing this on my phone. One finger swipe in the wrong direction causes all sorts if havoc! I’ll go and try to unspam your comment once I get a chance to get on my computer.

      • Oh yes, that does get annoying…both the repetitive song and the WP on iPhones. I’ve made some blunders in my time.
        Now is that for the Plato’s Cave one? Because it looks like I just responded to your comment back…unless now they are all going to spam!

    • That’s funny! My husband’s playing drums now and we even rehearse with our family band in the living room sometimes. We try to keep it all to decent hours though. Our neighbors. on the other hand, will go on all night.

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