Say Cheese

Shall we wear ugly Christmas sweaters
Red and white with pants of green
Or perhaps a winter snow globe
Featuring a Star Wars theme

Pose around the fire with
Our twenty lovely cats
Go into a jacuzzi all
Decked out in Santa hats

Act like we’re on a holiday
Vacation in Tahiti
So grandma can show off that she
Can still rock a bikini

Simulate the manger scene
Wear Christmas underwear
Pose the kids with peace signs as
They pull each other’s hair

Or dress up like a seasonal
Version of Game of Thrones
Or maybe all ironically
Look into our iPhones

Perhaps we’ll make a pyramid
As if we are the tree
But whatever we decide
I’m sure we all agree

And hope this card brings joy and cheer
To everyone it blesses
Too bad our friends all moved and left
No forwarding addresses.

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82 thoughts on “Say Cheese

  1. A nautical Christmas Card! I remember my mom sending out cards when I was a boy, and they were always ones she had purchased at the store. I don’t know when this personalized card thing started, but after trying to pose the kids with the dog without a major mosh pit breaking out, I am one for going back to traditional, store purchased cards.

    • I was just talking to someone further down on the comment chain about whether they do cheesy Christmas cards in their neck of the woods. Seems like it’s not something that is specific to us ugly Americans…it seems like just the kind of thing only we would find funny while the rest of the world just laughed at our brash taste.

    • I thought it was the best of the bunch so I commend your taste and don’t mind at all if you want to use it. Of course, now that it is my property, I’lll have to charge you, you know….Ha, ha…

    • I can’t quite tell if your kidding or not as really all one has to do is google Christmas underwear in order to see underwear with Christmas hats that…. well let’s just say they are not exactly worn on the head…oh dear, well not that kind of head, you know. Well Mike, you are just having me on, aren’t you? Bet you own a pair for each of the 12 days.

      • No I truly didn’t know Christmas underwear existed…mind in town this very day I spotted a bloke in a Christmas jumper (had a snowman on it) and thought and thought not suitable for a pre watershed blog! Whatever, you’re writing ever so well you know.

      • Why thank you Mike! Well inspiration comes and goes but Christmas underwear…well being that you can really only wear it a couple of times a year….that can last forever!

      • I’m going to check the underwear out on the net in the hope it is thermal…these old bones do rather suffer when the easterly arrives from Mother Russia.

  2. Haha!!! What interesting ideas! LOL! Some years back I used to purchase them at the store and wrote all myself of course with personal words for everyone: 50 cards! It took me days! I am glad I have the option to create them on my laptop and get them printed. I just don’t have time at the moment. But I want to say my peeps that I thought of them. What photos do I put on the card? Photos I already have and think they are pretty and show the persons as they are. It shall be a little review of the year.

    • I don’t know if this is something specific to America, but in the last couple of years it’s become a thing to replicate cheesy Christmas cards and some people just get so into it! I think your simpler approach is best.

      • I did not want to mention it, but I don’t know such a habit from any country over here. Actually it is basically seen as an American thing. I don’t want to offend anyone but it often looks simply embarrassing…

  3. I think all the ugly sweater family shots and kardashian cards have been outdone by the grossness of the gun toting republican grandma. Sometimes it is hard to believe people like that actually exist in this world!

  4. Good grief. I think this falls under the category of what-were-they-thinking?!
    I hope that if I ever get to the point when I think a cutesy family picture would make a good greeting card, someone will stage an intervention.
    Ironically, I was just looking at a bunch of photos online this afternoon. They’re wrong. Just very, very wrong.

    • I actually know people who are very into doing Christmas cards every year. Today she put up a post asking people to give her their addresses so she could send them a card. I was kind of curious to see what she was up to, but also felt like an enabler….

      • I send cards every year. It’s a ton of work and sometimes I question why I bother, but I also LOVE receiving cards too.
        … but I always use store bought cards. I’m only willing to add a certain amount of stress into my life.
        Have a family picture theme card? … I don’t think so!

      • It’s nice to send cards. I did some thank you cards for my son’s birthday, online and then cancelled the subscription. I’m thinking now it might be nice to have kept it so I could send Christmas cards too. I don’t have that many people to send them to though…the life of an introvert writer.

      • I have a friend who intentionally has her family members wear “ugly sweaters” for their family newsletter. I have an interesting (well, to me it is) question. Are people sending less of these sorts with photos, now that Facebook is here? I am not on FB, but I do not send family photos to anyone except my aunt and uncle. No newsletter, I hand write about 30 cards with catch up letters on a separate hand written note paper. The rest just get my John Hancock. 🙂

      • I don’t know. When it comes to gift or card giving to friends, as opposed to family, I like to just do online (gift cards and e-cards). It’s less maintenance, but I know people who still prefer the personal touch.

  5. “No pressure, kids.” “Just put on your swim team suits and smile for the camera while mommy and daddy replace all of the ornaments with your victory ribbons, and turn the tree into a shrine for our little swimmers.” “We’re not saying you have to win, but it’d be great if you did, because we’ve already mailed the cards.”

  6. Game of Thrones.. the Red Christmas? And I am always fascinated by what people will allow themselves to be photographed doing or wearing (or not wearing as it may be).

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