To Do Away With Black Friday

In the 24-7 town
A solemn gavel’s raised
And so it is begins the weekly
Meeting Of The Days

Thanksgiving’s first to take the stand
He says “Let me acquaint
You with a detailed list in which
I make for my complaint

I’ve always been a day of peace
But lately I have found
That things are getting worse with that
Black Friday coming round

It used to all be pretty chill
I would run my course
And then be like I had my day
And now you can have yours

But lately he’s all over me
I tell you it’s a bummer
Dude just comes in on me like
He’s all stealing my thunder

And plus all that he stands for, well
It’s really sort of shallow
He comes in on my coattails and
The people get all aggro

And so after you hear my words
I hope it’s understood
When I propose we just get rid
Of Black Friday for good!”

Shocked murmurs sprang around the place
And things got a bit crazed
Till a man got on the stand
The Grand Poobah of days

“I hear what you are saying T
There has indeed been tension
I propose we go to Black
And stage an intervention”

So up into his room they went
Intent to make it verbal
About the problems that they faced
While sitting in a circle

And soon Black came into his room
And saw them all arranged
He listened to them talk about
The reason for a change

But Black just looked with furrowed brow
While listening to their woes
And then he gave a knowing nod
Said “I see how this goes.”

Then at the speed of lightening lawyers
Came in from afar
The VIP and President
And Debbie from H.R.

And though they tried to blow it off
As just a bunch of smatter
Came governors and senators
To speak about the matter

Apologies in statements sent
Protests and admonitions
Mass firing of who’s charge
And soon came a decision

That every year they’d honor him
In the familiar ways
But now’s there’s a petition out
To call it Beige Friday.

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65 thoughts on “To Do Away With Black Friday

  1. Aside from being superbly pieced together you are correct this Black Friday thing that has now reached these shores is vile…end it…if you lot end it we will copy for we always copy the US…also I remember when Personnel Departments were named those prior to that awful phrase ‘Human Resources’…that’s another thing we copied!

  2. Oh yes – as usual, a solution that solves nothing.

    Strangely, this is a topic I actually have no opinion on. Yes, the madness has been imported into Canada but I would never be inclined to brave a mall during the height of craziness … there is simply no potential deal worth it.

    … but I love the image of the days staging an intervention. If I was Wednesday, I’d be petitioning for a better nickname. Hump Day lacks dignity.

    • You know, a lot of people get upset about Black Friday but someone commented on my FB yesterday that really it’s just about people taking advantage of an opportunity to make money and get great deals. No one has to be a part of it if they don’t want to be. I just think that it’s kind of funny to see how crazy people get so it’s always fun inspiration for a poem…that is, as long as no one gets too violent, although it seems inevitable that someone will!

  3. Whatever you call it, don’t get rid of it. It’s my entertainment. Since it’s free, it’s cheap. I go down to the malls and throw cheeseballs at the lines. They can’t fight back because then they would lose their place in line.

  4. Unless someone’s offering a house for $10, I’m not going out on Black Friday. “Thank you, pass the potatoes, and I’ll slice a bitch who cuts in line” is just not for me.

    • Yes, I’ve been hearing that even in countries where there is no Thanksgiving, there is still a Black Friday. I suppose it makes perfect sense as consumerism is universal, but for some reason I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around it!

  5. It is definitely commercialism, but what would we do without that, if we strip our economy even more of our entitlement programs, medicaid, planned parenthood, perhaps even social security (which is not an entitlement program, we pay into that our entire working lives) would be the first to go. the reasoning is fine though, thank you for the lovely and as always uplifting poetry.

    • Oh yes, you definitely have a point. It’s consumerism and that’s what America is all about. There is nothing wrong with businesses making money and people taking advantage of it. I just think it’s funny how people get all crazy and it always makes for good poem inspiration. I really don’t think this would ever be seriously considered.

      • I stay far away from Black Friday and the madness, I did have a couple of friend who lit out after Thanksgiving and did not come back home till after one o’clock. That’s not what the holidays are about for me, but hey , if they like it go for it. I would be more than happy to see that money going to the needy though. (bleeding heart, that’s me, <3)

  6. Exactly and greatly expressed, Marissa. Those rhymes fell right into place. 🙂 The Grand Poobah of days and the intervention were hilarious as all your great details found within the well paced poem. My Mom thinks Purple Friday sounds good. 😀
    Beige does sound like a nondescript day and less crazed. We stayed in Friday and we’re lazy, decorated her place for Christmas and watched Hallmark all day. Going home tomorrow at noon.

      • I like innocuous and inoffensive “bland” Friday. I just wonder if it will straighten up it’s act due to a new name change? 😉 my days were spent eating and doing very little, Marissa.
        I helped Mom write 4 Christmas cards with enclosed letters, (and her recent news/fall and rehab stay) since I won’t be back until the 24th. (Sadly, it took an hour to do so.) We work on the 24th and so it will be a short holiday.

  7. Intelligent and very well stated/written…
    I am getting tired of those big sales… Cyber Monday was so disappointing over here – the strategy was to get prices increased the week before it took place… so technically speaking there was no discount…. Sending love and best wishes, dear Marissa. Aquileana ⭐

    • Oh yes, I hate it when they do that…just raise prices so they can discount them later. Well, at least with it being Cyber, you didn’t have to run out to any stores. Thank you for your kind words.

  8. I was just the other day wondering WHO came up with the name Black Friday? That is so gruesome. Beige Friday. Hmmmm …. somehow doesn’t have the umph that Black Friday does. How about RED Friday as a LOT of peeps go into debt. Hmmmm …. Does that work with you? Again, Marissa, another great poem!!! Thank you! (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

  9. I hate shopping! The idea of Black Friday makes me pout… If they call it Beige, it’ll be even worse!! You know how much I hate that color 🙂 (specially the panties!!)

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