A Thanksgiving Collection for The Misanthrope

Some turkeys taste best when they’re fried
Other’s when they’re roasted
Some say they’re best served cold inside
A sandwich nicely toasted
And I’ve consulted master chefs
And well renowned cookbooks
To find my turkey must taste best
Before the damn thing’s cooked

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Stuff yourself with candied yams
And turkey like a glutton
Cause it ain’t Thanksgiving un-
til someone pops a button

Disaster strikes the Murkleys after they gorge themselves at Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Whatever sugar I may add
The cranberries taste bitter
Year after year the puckered lips
Yet I am not a quitter
Because this year I’ve figured out
A pretty fool proof way
To work around all this stress
And save Thanksgiving Day
But new dilemmas do arise
From which I can’t escape
How I do I get my sauce out of
That weird conical shape?

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I’m staying home for Thanksgiving
I don’t want to mingle
Tell Aunt Sheila I’m unemployed
And yes I am still single
Tell Uncle Sal to slow down on
The whisky and the rye
And duck for me when we find out
That turkey’s really fly
I’m staying home for Thanksgiving
Don’t need nobody else
I’ll overeat quite fine, thank you
When I’m all by myself
I’m staying home for Thanksgiving
Because I’m filled with fear
We’ll recall why we see each other
Only once a year

Another submission for the Photo Challenge which I am so honored to have been nominated for by Erika Kind.

Also, anyone who is interested, can read my Metalhead’s Holiday Gift Guide published by Geeks of Doom.

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72 thoughts on “A Thanksgiving Collection for The Misanthrope

    • Thanks Erika! Actually I don’t cook at Thanksgiving at all! I guess my family can be thankful that they don’t have to eat my cooking! Unfortunately, my inability to cook runs in the family so we go to my mother’s and have a very untraditional Thanksgiving dinner of whatever she can find at Costco (warehouse superstore here in the U.S.) Do you do anything for Thanksgiving?

      • Haha…. so your poem is pretty realistic. I love your irony about yourself! The most important part is that you all are together and have fun!
        We don’t have this holiday over here. We have something similar in September but that is actually only celebrated during a service in church. Nothing like the family gathering. Actually we are having these kind of gatherings at Christmas! Have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow!!!

      • I just went to the dentist yesterday. No cavities!! But really, I hate dentist appointments. I can’t stand anything going on in my mouth other than the every day…especially if pain is involved.

      • I understand that totally. I am spoiled that way… never had any bigger issues! But I knew something else to do with my time anyway…Hey congrats to the successful visit!!!

  1. I always feel like I’m missing out on something by not having American family to share Thanksgiving. I need a family to adopt me for the holidays so I can experience all the dysfunctional angst that everyone talks about πŸ˜‰

    • Right Joanne! Since there is no language barrier, it’s easy for me to forget that you’re not American. We have certainly had our share of dysfunction in my family. I think after all these years, we’re able to identify what sets each other off well enough to have peaceful dinners….although the angst is still there!!

  2. Happy Thanksgiving Marissa. We don’t celebrate it in our part of the world, but we have many functions where we meet up with family and…all the fun. Loved your play of words..

  3. When is thanksgiving? I told myself I’d celebrate from this year forward but probably missed it again. If it’s today, Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for your lovely words. P.s my writing keeps going on rhyming tangents since I have met you Marissa!

  4. Long live Lemmy and dysfunctional family get-togethers! Yes, I combined my comments for two posts. Now I’m off to read Metalheads’ Hoilday Gift Guide! Happy Thanksgiving, Marissa.

    • It’s funny…when I was looking for the picture, I saw all these clever ways of making the canned cranberry sauce look interesting, like just chopping it into these kind of circular discs or even getting a cookie cutter kind of think that made it in the shape of a turkey. I don’t know…I think no matter what it still looked kind of congealed.

  5. I think you covered all the disasters and perils of Thanksgiving, Marissa. πŸ™‚ I think it is a shame when family members cannot be themselves, let out their shirts, pop a few buttons or unzip their zippers. It would be so great if I didn’t have to wear an underwire bra, too! Let it all hang out. . . Or not! (Tongue in cheek.)

    • Yes, well, I think there are a lot of family’s who, if we were all to be ourselves every Thanksgiving, might end up fighting. We manage to have fun and be ourselves every Thanksgiving after learning that there are certain subjects where we are best off holding our tongues!

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