Those Eyes

I have a secret fantasy
No one knows bout it but me
It’s really evil, very bad
Involves my teacher Ms. McFad

Clearly there is no one meaner
Caught me passing notes to Gina
“There’s no fooling me she said
I have eyes in back of my head”

So she waged an intervention
Both of us are in detention
Stuck in school life after hell
Our parents grounded us as well

And so that brings me where I am
When the fantasies began
In class all alone I find her
And start sneaking up behind her

Intent to seal my teacher’s fate
With stapler, chalk or paperweight
Silently I hover close
More silent than passing a note

More silent than a yawn or moan
Or those discreetly checking phones
Or rolling eyes or looking glum
Or chewing wads of bubble gum

I raise the weapon of my choice
When so clearly I hear her voice
And to my horror I do find
A sight forever in my mind

That made me run away in dread
For truly in back of her head
Staring so accusingly
Those two eyes looking right at me.

This one is dedicated to my daughter who just started 3rd grade last week.


66 thoughts on “Those Eyes

  1. Funny, but my class teacher would also tell us “I have eyes at the back of my head”… looking at Garvin’s comments, wonder if they all do that? Mine was a doll, though, bless her!

  2. Old Miss Hobson at my school back in the day was a bit like that only she had radar ears as well plus…given that she taught religion…would belt us about the cranium with a largish old copy of the bible – probably why I

  3. My 3rd grade teacher was like that. I believe that she truly HAD eyes on the back of her head, because I was caught just about every time that I had tried to slip a piece of candy into my mouth, at which point she would turn around and say “Do you have enough candy for the entire class, Robert?” Snap.

    • Oh yeah, that’s another good one. When I wrote this one I was trying to think of other things that teachers say but couldn’t really come up with that many so I just decided to focus on the one.

  4. It’s good to get the fear of “God” in them early, I guess……but oh…..afraid that image is going to be stuck in my head now too…..

  5. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you’re super awesome!
    Loved this!
    Take care, best wishes and a special good luck to your lovely daughter. πŸ˜„

  6. This was a fantastic post to bring joy and laughter into your 3rd grade daughter’s day, Marissa. I loved the way you were leading us into thinking this may have been a past episode of getting into trouble, too. Thsnks for the final photo. I think I need another post how to explain why Nanas,Grandpa’s and Mom’s seem to know what goes on behind closed doors. πŸ™‚
    I am stopping by some friends places today to share a few fears of my own. Mom fell in wet grass on an incline with her little dog, Nicki. I drove up to Cleveland as soon as I got the message (Sat.) to the hospital. Shattered hip but surgery went smooth early Sunday. The sight of her frail scared face broke my heart. I just don’t want a whole fuss or post over at my blog, Marissa.

    • Oh gosh, how very awful. I know these things can be scary and stressful but I’m glad to hear she is going to be alright. Hopefully this poem helped put a smile on your face and thanks for taking the time to read in trying times.

      • Of course, Marissa. I enjoyed this post immensely. It did just that: made me Laugh! Thank you for your concern.
        I know you will let us know if anything blog worthy transpired, while daughter met 3rd grade teacher and classmates. Hope nothing traumatic happens to her; ever. πŸ™‚

      • Oh yes, she’ll be fine. Actually, I’m just kind of frustrated with the school dress codes. I could go on and one but can someone please tell me what is wrong with an 8 year old girl showing too much shoulder when it’s 95 degrees out. Well, I meet the teacher for Back To School night tomorrow so I will be the true judge. I’m already a bit miffed that my daughter brought home a testimonial from an old student of the teacher’s that was filled with grammatical and spelling errors but my daughter doesn’t seem too have a problem so far so, pick your battles, right?

      • I am sorry was not on top of blogging until recently. Anyway, I am surprised at such silliness as this! 3rd graders should be allowed tank tops or those cute “cami” or camisole tops in hot weather. Hope teacher is “cool” and you are awesome as a parent. Caring and letting teachers know how you stand can build bridges rather than burn them. I usually wrote short notes so I would not dwell on things. On paper and “off my chest.” πŸ™‚

      • Yes, well, I should only hope I am not burning any bridges. I am certainly not one to suffer in silence but also have to be careful and pick my battles. Thank you for your support.

  7. For every student who doesn’t know….this is a great service. They should know. It will save a lot of detention time and heart ache. Happy school year Marissa’s 3rd grader!!!!

    • Yes, I did kind of foil things for all those kids out there who was hoping the fantasy of murdering a teacher would finally play out. I guess I just couldn’t go through with it in the end either.

  8. Spot on and good guidance for your daughter. One of our teachers used to throw board wipers at us if we drifted off. They were hard and heavy and he was a good shot. I don’t think he had eyes in the back of his head though. And he was good fun. I hope your daughter enjoys school.

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