Kicking Ass and Taking Names (Future Challenge)

The year is twenty fifty five
I wake up in my bed
Nurse Amanda strolls in with
My breakfast and my meds

I know she hopes this won’t unfold
To an unpleasant scene
When I ask her “Hey man do you
Got some more of the green?”

Her furrowed brow does make it clear
She’s very much opposed
To relive last Friday when I
Did snort them up my nose

Then to the lobby I am wheeled
With the regular crowd
With headphones blasting Judas Priest
Camille says,”It’s too loud!”

And from my wheelchair I do rise
My anger uncontrolled
And so with wrath I scream “If It
Is too loud you’re too old!”

But Camille clearly is unphased
And so I merely frown
And roughly reach out as I turn
Her damn hearing aid down

But as I go to turn around
I see the TV when
I protest at the broadcast “No!
Not Golden Girls again!”

I pull it’s plug out from the wall
So everyone’s resigned
To gather for my favorite treat
That’s right, poetry time

Anna starts out with a sonnet
Two lines will suffice
I wheel her to the other room
While mumbling “Very nice!”

So finally it is my turn
To read my new collection
If there’s old stuff thrown in I’m sure
They’ll have no recollection

And so I start my racy rhymes
Till most of them are blushing
And soon wheel out with snide remarks
Like “Oh gosh, so disgusting”

Soon everybody has cleared out
‘Cept Murray’s in a trance
With a blank smile on his face
And one hand down his pants

And so I say to him “Old boy
Seems we’ve done it again
What you think? Should you and I
Watch some Anchorman 10?”

And that is just another day
My reputation known
For kicking ass and taking names
Down at the nursing home

I’d like to thank Erika Kind for nominating me for this challenge in which you are supposed to come up with some sort of concept of your future. I don’t think whoever came up with the challenge quite imagined it would come out like this but, oh well. You can read Erika’s submission here.


72 thoughts on “Kicking Ass and Taking Names (Future Challenge)

  1. Hahaha, Marissa, you are simply amazing!!! That was soooo funny. What a look into your future…. lol. I will visit you for sure, then we wheel around together and drive everybody nuts…. lol

    • Oh yes, I was gonna comment on that one but then saw this comment. I always have problems commenting with my cell too. Anyway, to answer your question, if I have to be in a nursing home I guess this would be the best way to do it.

  2. Oh my. You have such a rebellious outlook on your old age…’s actually quite a bit perkier than my own….I’m just hoping to find a nice quiet place to enjoy easy days!

  3. This was you in “rare form,” and although I was smiling and laughing at Murray. I think I would be a little fearful of you. I am afraid that I may become the “television addict.” Shutting the TV off would probably Piss me off, Marissa!!

  4. So, you have already resigned to living in a nursing home and not terrorizing your children by making them take care of you? Or… are you afraid they are going to be too much like you? Hehe..

  5. Marissa, sorry, if you are EVER in a nursing home I would be showing up for the shows. And I don’t mean poetry, but the rock shows you’ll be staging. You’ll be turning those rhymes in to banging tunes no doubt on my part!

  6. You have me laughing once again! Oh LORD! If I ever end up in a nursing home, will you please just shoot me first? I’m going out with style and it will NOT be in a nursing home. Although I laughed I had a bit of dread. But the last part really got me … hands down the pants! Never too old for that!!! Hehehehehe (((HUGS))) Amy โค

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