I was just sitting round the house
Not doing anything
Till horror of all horrors as
My phone lights up and dings

I view it like a thing unwashed
And with great trepidation
I poke and prod and hesitate
To view the conversation

And wary I pick up the phone
Afraid of what comes next
It could be a deadly assault
Known as a Wall of Text

Which I’ll squint at from afar
Not knowing what to say
Would our friendship end if I
Just simply wrote okay?

Or maybe it is Evelyn
Texting to say she’s bored
I ponder whether I should just
Let this one be ignored

And hope when she next questions me
If only she’d believe
My cell phone’s acting funky and
It never was received

Perhaps a voice that’s coming in
From virtual beyond
Attempting to communicate
All in emoticons

Or someone who’s not making sense
Illiterate or stoned
But either way it’s possible
I might just have to phone!!!

Or maybe I will seem too harsh
On maybe just too tame
Or maybe just seem stupid cause
That really was inane

So I’ll write “great’ “sounds good” “okay”
Lacking imagination
But all is good long as it serves
To end the conversation


75 thoughts on “Textiquette

  1. So I’m not the only one who looks at my pinging phone with distrust. Speaking of *ping*, my phone just shouted at me. To answer or ignore? … that is the question.

      • Though those four letter words weren’t what I was talking about, I’m sure those are ones I’ve heard before. I was talking about those texts like “Yep!” or “K!” or “Alright Bye!” or “Okay, don’t talk to me ever again! :)” At least they left the smiley face.

    • Right, like do you ever say ‘good bye’ in a text?? I’m always wondering if I’m not being rude by ending the conversation if I just don’t have anything left to say.

  2. I truly never know what I’m going to do…answer the phone or hit ignore…..it’s all up to how badly I use my phone….it’s definitely alot smarter than me…..took me quite a while just to figure out how to answer it….I hung up on way too many people but maybe that was good?

  3. I’m one of those close to 100 ( lol ) and don’t have an i-phone. My daughter keeps trying to convince me that I really, really need one, but I see that it’s constantly attached to her hand and I cringe. I told her that if I go lost in the bush it would be handy, but then she agreed that there would probably be signal available. I rarely go in the bush anyways! So I don’t really, really need one. My home phone rarely rings anyways. Peace!

  4. When I get texted and am asked, did you get my text, I tell them I can’t read. I do not know what this fascination with phones and texting is. I hate phones. Always have. Always will. There is a reason God made email.

  5. I really miss the days of good old fashioned call screening. The excuses were so much more plausible back then. β˜”οΈβ„οΈπŸ”₯πŸ˜·πŸ˜΄πŸ’€

  6. Ha! that was funny (well, as always). I’ve been known to write rambly text messages that keep a conversation going for as long as the phone battery will last, but I also have times where I spend a few minutes trying to think of the best way to respond and close the conversation haha. Usually ending with something like “see you soon” with or without an “xx” doesn’t leave much more to be said and keeps things positive haha.

  7. I love it (not!) when my kids won’t answer their phone, but will answer my texts. So frustrating. What I’m in agreement with Kim – bring back the good old days of call screening. πŸ˜€

  8. I never saw the value of texting until when I lost my cell phone (ok you know it was stolen. . .) Then, for 10 days I had to drive to places counting on people to show up. Not knowing roads were closed or daughter caught in traffic jam. Also, long-winded family member or dear, old friend could not be stopped once I got on borrowed phones. Sometimes I feel guilty saying “white lie” while talking on phone but I glibly text without any guilt whatsover, Marissa. πŸ™‚

      • Your post was funny and I wish sometimes to have phone calls instead of text messages since communication and tone of voice can easily be misunderstood.
        I liked that you made sure to include phone going ‘funky’ when too much time elapsed between messages, Marissa. I always smile at references to being “stoned,” since much of the 70’s, I was with a group who enjoyed this state of mind! πŸ™‚

      • I think I relived a bit of those 70s in the 80s…and the 90s…

        Yeah, sometimes when texting gets too convoluted, the only solution is to pick up the phone!

  9. Unless I see a recognized name or number I never answer. If it is important they will leave a voicemail for me to ignore. I don’t mind texts as I can accidentally hit the delete button. My phone gets used less as a phone than any other of its functions. I think I need an unsmart phone without emoticons πŸ˜‰

  10. How could I miss this poem? I often think the same when it rings. And sometimes it doesn’t make it easier to pick up when you see who is on the phone. Also the house can be full with people… and it is again me who is running to pick up… My kids are doing a lot easier with this. They can drive me nuts when they don’t pick up their phone when I call them only talking to the voice mail… urgh.

    Marissa I have a challenge for you: https://erikakind.wordpress.com/2015/07/19/allergic-to-e-challenge-2/

  11. Text still beats an unending horribly monotonous and painful phone call. Most people I know are quite content to just stop texting when they are done. So I’m good with that too.

  12. OMG, that’s so funny! I do that all the time to people who have that incessant need to “get in the last word”…. Like thanks, you’re welcome, smiley face…. when does it end????

    • With me it’s not so much about getting in the last word. I just like to make sure that the conversation has ended properly and I’m not being rude by leaving them hanging! It’s like, smiley face…?? what does one do with that??

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