Through The Nevers

Never ride on a ostrich’s back
Never should you sport a mullet
Never mix Jager with lemonade
Never pick your nose in public

Never make promises that you can’t keep
And end up with one that is broken
Never bite off more than you can chew
Never chew with your mouth open

Never call him before three days is up
Don’t giggle when you’re in the sack
And never should you say I love you until
You’re certain that you’ll hear it back

Never take candy from strangers and
Don’t take wooden nickels as well
Never buy egg rolls from shoe salesmen
Or bridges that they’ve go to sell

Never wear white after Labor Day
Never wear brown shoes with black
Never go out with panty lines showing
Never wear a fanny pack

Never go to sleep before you make up
Or believe what you can’t see
And never reject a stranger’s advice
As long as they give it for free.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been inspired by a prompt, but when this one came around yesterday, I just couldn’t resist.


81 thoughts on “Through The Nevers

  1. There lies so much depth and truth in it. May I print this? I love it and i is a good reminder in any situation. You are amazing what all came to your mind. Some lines truly went deep.

  2. That van seems legitimate though! I like how your poems will have ample silliness to make me giggle while also exploring depths effortlessly! πŸ™‚ I loved this one. So far, it’s one of my personal favourites!

  3. Never make promises that you can’t keep
    And end up with one that is broken

    I love that!!!! I loved your list, although the eggroll shoe salesman thingy is a bit disturbing. πŸ˜€

    • Unfortunately this came from experience.I kept buying eggrolls from the shoe salesman who has a shop at the end of the block and they just were not good. I really caught on after the food poisoning!! (just kidding!!)

    • Do you have a Labor Day there? Well, the whole thing is that since Labor Day marks the official end of summer, you shouldn’t wear white after it’s passed as wearing white is more appropriate in summer. Really it’s just a silly fashion rule but yet, I never really do feel right when erring on the wrong side of this one.

      • Thanks for that piece of information! International Workers’ Day, also known as Labour Day is celebrated on May 1st in most countries. It is the day us true socialists belt out The Red Flag;

        Although I’m guessing your Republicans would have none of it across the pond!

      • Oh I see. Well seeing as it rains all the time there anyway, you probably wear white whenever the hell you bloody well like and the Republicans can suck an egg!

      • Cricket…one must wear white to play cricket. Other than that we wear woolly jumpers mostly and umbrella’s of course. Most of us keep a handy inflatable dinghy to hand also…although many still drown or contract pneumonia!

      • yes, figures with you Brits. And, you know, white is so terribly see through when it gets wet! Hey, is that why I saw you pulling out a beach chair at the all female cricket championships as soon as the thunder started?

      • She found a little white number but the bloody rain stopped…had to throw a bucket of water over her. She was none to pleased for reasons I can’t fathom though!

      • I’m that old that I well recall having a beer with Adam back in the day and he claims that it was he himself who invented the concept of wet t-shirt contests! There a little bit of history for you. By the way I haven’t yet lost the second head that evolved post the tooth removal. Blew up my lap top with the family photos on it today as well then my anti-virus told me all my passwords had been compromised…not a good day!

      • What I wonder will go wrong today? The carpet fitter cometh this morn, a little later the ‘nice man’ as Shirley calls him arrives to build her shed and put fencing up, and there’s me trying to remember where my ITunes password is (all my music was on the deceased laptop) and all this in the knowledge I have to beg George to help me with this and the recovery of a dozen years of digital photographs. It has the seeds of disaster about it does today! Oh yes, I’ve just noticed that the gulls have comprehensively shat on both our car and G’s – we had them both washed just yesterday at great expense!

  4. Along the way I’ve learned to never say never πŸ™‚
    … and that picture of the van with *free candy* is really creepy. Yikes.

    I’m really curious about Jager and lemonade. Why? Or is it one of those monstrosities you just have to try it to believe it?

    • After I completed the poem it occurred to me that I should have written something about ‘never say never’, but by that point, it was just too late.

      The Jager and lemonade is kind of a long story. I wanted to put in something about two alcohols not mixing or something similar and yet when I wrote the line I just thought it cried out for the word lemonade so I decided to look for a drink that did not go well with lemonade. All I could find was Jager and lime juice but I just figured, could lemonade be that much worse?? And there you have it!

  5. Love this Marissa, especially the line on chewing with your mouth open. I must admit, it bothers me when I hear others chew with open mouth.
    What about wearing a black bra under a white top! A real fashion faux pas! Lol!

  6. Marissa, I loved your list of Nevers! I agree with all of them. Especially love, wooden nickles and also shoe salesman or other important advice. I know you are not a stranger so I will take all but one of your pieces of advice. I believe in things I cannot see! Yes, I do!
    Oh, I have been meaning to tell you (if you have not looked this up yet) the Minions who were swearing on MCD’s Happy Meals were supposedly saying, “What the F – – -!” πŸ™‚

    • Oh, thank you! Yes, I remember , I was left hanging on that one with The Minions!
      Yes, this list of Nevers is just to be taken lightly. A few were thrown in for rhyming and scanning value!!

      • Oh, I know I didn’t need to clarify. Your poem was fun filled, Marissa. I was playing back with you by accepting all your “nevers” except one. I did realize you were not necessarily saying they were “set in stone!” πŸ™‚

  7. I saw a boy with a rat tail the other day. He was around three or four and had this poufy, crunchy, mullet thing going on on the top of his head. I had to pull my manager out of her office, so she could witness it. Taking a photo wasn’t an option. If he’d been school age, I think his hairstyle would border on parental abuse.

  8. Very nice Marissa!! πŸ™‚ Never call him before three days is up? I hate wasting time and if I’m about to hear bad news, the sooner, the better so I have more time to heal πŸ™‚

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