Oh Gina May Melinda Mark
I say it just ain’t healthy
The lengths to which you seem to go
Just to procure a selfie
A long time you did date dear Todd
Was it two years or three?
Until twas time to give that speech
“It isn’t you but me”
The poor man was a wreck that day
He sobbed and he did cry
He left but as you called him back
Great hope did fill his eyes
But disappointment reigned as you
Did bring up from your purse the
Bane of all existence as
You called out “Breakup Selfie!!”
And then there was the time when you
Thought it would be a thrill
To go out to a nightclub after
Taking funky pills
You called up some old guy you knew
From the wrong part of town
And wouldn’t you just know it as
The deal was going down
You whipped your little camera out
They hit the deck real stealthy
But not quite quick enough as you
Hollered out ” Drug Deal Selfie!”
And then there was the time when your
Poor aunt did pass away
It was a somber mood at the
Funeral home that day
I could not quite believe it but
I’m sure my eyes did see
You leaned upon the wooden box
Her home eternally
And as we heard the somber bells
That rang deep from the belfry
We couldn’t quite ignore the clicks
You screamed “Funeral Selfie!”
Gina I am afraid that you
Should open up your eyes
Or all this selfie taking might
Just lead to your demise
The people you upset out there
Might label you as sick
And feel the need to strangle you
With your own selfie stick
Or maybe a cliffside somewhere
You try to catch the beauty
With your famous iPhone lens
Watch out, first step’s a doozy!
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 
This resonates loud and strong but really, funeral selfie?
You know, Andrew, I was just trying to come up with some ridiculous scenarios where people would take a selfie and thought of that one. Strangely enough, when searching for images, I did see that ‘funeral selfie’ was popping up in the search terms. I didn’t stick around for the results.
OMG, that is hilarious!!! What a great poem about this selfie mania!!! So cool! I love the one with the aunt. I also have to say that you always have a wonderful flow in your poems.
Thank you Erika! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
It is very cool. It says what I think about this selfie madness.
This is so true Marissa! It’s an epidemic. I have a friend who takes them all day long and posts them to Facebook….and she’s older too. Good grief! Great poem 🙂
Yes, it’s funny but I notice that social media and new technology has given a lot of people inflated egos. I have the same sort of problems with a lot of my friends. I find myself avoiding going on FB often because of that.
Yes I know, I used to enjoy Facebook a lot more than I do now, that’s for sure…
I just got a new phone that unlike the last one has dual camera lenses. So now I can take a selfie.
Coincidently when I do the words “funeral selfie” seems to come up. 🙂
Well, I look forward to seeing your selfies all over FB. I know you’re that type of guy!!
The scourge of the new millennium is the ubiquitous selfie! LMAO reading this one.
I quite agree…but then you probably knew that after reading this!
Yes, I got that impression from your post today. 😀
Oh gosh! A friend and I were just talking about this yesterday! How FB is flooded with ‘selfies’! There’s always that one or two or three! among our circle of friends who catches the bug. I got a selfie stick for Christmas from my brother and I wondered what it was. I even said my camera’s too big for this (thinking it was a wee tripod) Turns out it was for a phone. Yikes! Not another one to lug around (reminds me of your post – everything but the kitchen sink).
Hilarious! Whenever my hubby sees one, he asks me out loud to whip mine out as well. So embarrassing. But of course I don’t bring it. He said we should keep up with the times (wink wink)
Oh yeah, it definitely seems like the selfie stick would just be an unnecessary thing to carry. It is kind of cool for getting certain shots though, but not ones of yourself…you know, just because you can get some interesting angles. Still, just the idea that it was made to capture selfies would make me rather not get one.
You are right. It is especially handy when taking group shots with awesome background or scenery. Probably helpful for those who travel alone. With times now where one could run away with your phone or camera, it’s best to use the stick, I think.
Bwaaahahaaahaaaa! Love it!
Thank you Rachel!
I tried to take a selfie once…but unless I’m very mistaken I don’t think I am a step ladder…must have missed my face or something
Yes, I wondered why there was a picture of a step ladder on Facebook…
Well it was better than the other selfie I took…a dogs arse as it happens…you see my hand keeps shaking every time I touch the screen thing. I’m guessing here you’d call them ‘Arse Selfies’
You mean that wasn’t actually your face? (Okay I have to put a just kidding here for this is one you may even have to deem as me going too far!)
Young Marish you are much to polite. After all the selfie I just took is of a fat bloke dribbling over some magazine or something so l know it can’t be good old dyslexic me! My brain hurts again!
Yes, definitely sounds like a case of bad aim. You should probably have that looked into.
My new selfie is a snap of the kitchen tiles…I rather like that. I’ve always felt my ceramic side was my best.
Yes, except that time when you got that unsightly zit. Then your concrete side was much better.
Just mucked about with the ‘like’ button for some unfathomable reason! Personally my terracotta side is my favourite as it so happens!
You are a multifaceted man.
If so I can at last apply for that job in a fairground!
I hear you’re a fore runner for the position!
And then there was the time when
Gina laid in her coffin
All nicely spread out for all
To see without her talking
As they passed her by
And saw that she was truly gone
Each gave an audible sigh
She would finally leave them alone
But a hidden camera snapped
From a nearby shelfie
So she could cry out with
One last “I’m dead now” selfie
😀
Now that would really be something!!!
hahahahaha 🙂
That is just what Paul Revere said.
I was at a local fast food joint this week. I saw 3 people in a booth. There was an older couple on one side and a younger woman (presumably their daughter) on the other. She had a strange frozen smile expression on her face and I realized she was totally ignoring the other 2 people and taking a series of selfies. It just struck me as so odd. Why then? Why there? Why a selfie when there are 2 people across from you that could take the picture? Bizarre.
That is really weird. I have seen many families go out to dinner together and all be completely absorbed in their cell phones but that takes it to a whole other level!
I think ‘selfie’ rather says it all. Self-absorbed, self-centred, self-important.
On the other hand, I can’t tell whether my opinion of selfies is overly influenced by my utter lack of ability to take a good one 🙂
Yes, I really don’t either, and apparently, there is an art to it. I almost called this post Selfish Selfies but just thought it was too redundant.
Selfies….yes, it’s gotten way out of control. Love that Narcissistick!
Seems to be the popular opinion!
Love this one, lost a visual stuff sprint to mind., especially with the funeral selfie. You may well have done it already but there’s mileage ( scuse the pun ) in something on sat nav. I used to work with a van driver who relied on a sat nav so much that they said that as his coffin would be lowered into his grave one would here the words: ” You have now reached your final destination ” ( No doubt somewhat muffled )
Yes, really loved your comic as well. I actually did do a post a while back called WTF GPS, but to have ended it with the line “You have now reached your final destination” would have been priceless and may well make the whole idea eligible for a revisit!
Reblogged this on Paul Davies Cartoons and commented:
This is a recent posting from Marissa that inspired my last blog.
Sadly…..there is probably a whole lotta truth to all of these selfies.
I agree!
This is so funny, especially a self with group of mourners! Did you hear they had to close a ride at one of the Disney parks and will from now on Ban those extended arm selfish cameras, Marissa? 🙂
I wrote “selfie” 2 different times in my above comment, checked it and as I pushed “post comment,” the hyper-sensitive phone changed the spelling. Sorry Marissa.
I yeah, no problem with the typos. No, I didn’t hear about the Disney thing but I’m glad those extended arm things will be banned.
Spot on. Selfies and Velfies….crazy times are here😆😆
Oh my goodness! I had to actually look up the term velfies! But of course, makes perfect sense.
This world has gone crazy, right? I saw these sticks when I went to Niagara Falls and I had NO clue what they were. Selfie sticks? Really? Do people not have better things to do then to photograph themselves? GREAT poem again, Marissa!! LOL Thank you! Love, Amy ❤
Yes, I saw them in abundance during our annual pilgrimage to Lego Land (ha, ha). My husband pointed them out to me and explained what they were. I was nonplussed to say the least.
LOL I wasn’t too impressed either, my friend. Really? LOL
I think I take too many selfies, Marissa. No Narciisstick, though. 🙂 Yet.
Well, if you start taking funeral selfies I think that’s when you need to go cold turkey!
Cold turkey! That’s when you don’t like the person at the funeral service, right? 😉
You’re on a roll…with turkey!!
Mayo introduce myself? 😉
Oh no…
“But first…. Let me take a selfie!”… https://youtu.be/kdemFfbS5H0 😉
Happy weekend ahead, dear Marissa. Aquileana 😀
Oh goodness! Almost missed this comment. I’m glad I saw it. Pretty funny video! Appropriately obnoxious! LOL
Another funny one! 🙂
Thank you Paola!
Squeal!! I love saving your poetry for Monday mornings. xo
Hopefully something to take the edge off…??