Serious Selfies

Oh Gina May Melinda Mark
I say it just ain’t healthy
The lengths to which you seem to go
Just to procure a selfie
A long time you did date dear Todd
Was it two years or three?
Until twas time to give that speech
“It isn’t you but me”
The poor man was a wreck that day
He sobbed and he did cry
He left but as you called him back
Great hope did fill his eyes
But disappointment reigned as you
Did bring up from your purse the
Bane of all existence as
You called out “Breakup Selfie!!”

And then there was the time when you
Thought it would be a thrill
To go out to a nightclub after
Taking funky pills
You called up some old guy you knew
From the wrong part of town
And wouldn’t you just know it as
The deal was going down
You whipped your little camera out
They hit the deck real stealthy
But not quite quick enough as you
Hollered out ” Drug Deal Selfie!”

And then there was the time when your
Poor aunt did pass away
It was a somber mood at the
Funeral home that day
I could not quite believe it but
I’m sure my eyes did see
You leaned upon the wooden box
Her home eternally
And as we heard the somber bells
That rang deep from the belfry
We couldn’t quite ignore the clicks
You screamed “Funeral Selfie!”

Gina I am afraid that you
Should open up your eyes
Or all this selfie taking might
Just lead to your demise
The people you upset out there
Might label you as sick
And feel the need to strangle you
With your own selfie stick
Or maybe a cliffside somewhere
You try to catch the beauty
With your famous iPhone lens
Watch out, first step’s a doozy!

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67 thoughts on “Serious Selfies

    • You know, Andrew, I was just trying to come up with some ridiculous scenarios where people would take a selfie and thought of that one. Strangely enough, when searching for images, I did see that ‘funeral selfie’ was popping up in the search terms. I didn’t stick around for the results.

  1. OMG, that is hilarious!!! What a great poem about this selfie mania!!! So cool! I love the one with the aunt. I also have to say that you always have a wonderful flow in your poems.

  2. I just got a new phone that unlike the last one has dual camera lenses. So now I can take a selfie.
    Coincidently when I do the words “funeral selfie” seems to come up. πŸ™‚

  3. Oh gosh! A friend and I were just talking about this yesterday! How FB is flooded with ‘selfies’! There’s always that one or two or three! among our circle of friends who catches the bug. I got a selfie stick for Christmas from my brother and I wondered what it was. I even said my camera’s too big for this (thinking it was a wee tripod) Turns out it was for a phone. Yikes! Not another one to lug around (reminds me of your post – everything but the kitchen sink).

  4. Hilarious! Whenever my hubby sees one, he asks me out loud to whip mine out as well. So embarrassing. But of course I don’t bring it. He said we should keep up with the times (wink wink)

    • Oh yeah, it definitely seems like the selfie stick would just be an unnecessary thing to carry. It is kind of cool for getting certain shots though, but not ones of yourself…you know, just because you can get some interesting angles. Still, just the idea that it was made to capture selfies would make me rather not get one.

      • You are right. It is especially handy when taking group shots with awesome background or scenery. Probably helpful for those who travel alone. With times now where one could run away with your phone or camera, it’s best to use the stick, I think.

  5. And then there was the time when
    Gina laid in her coffin
    All nicely spread out for all
    To see without her talking
    As they passed her by
    And saw that she was truly gone
    Each gave an audible sigh
    She would finally leave them alone
    But a hidden camera snapped
    From a nearby shelfie
    So she could cry out with
    One last “I’m dead now” selfie

  6. I was at a local fast food joint this week. I saw 3 people in a booth. There was an older couple on one side and a younger woman (presumably their daughter) on the other. She had a strange frozen smile expression on her face and I realized she was totally ignoring the other 2 people and taking a series of selfies. It just struck me as so odd. Why then? Why there? Why a selfie when there are 2 people across from you that could take the picture? Bizarre.

  7. I think ‘selfie’ rather says it all. Self-absorbed, self-centred, self-important.
    On the other hand, I can’t tell whether my opinion of selfies is overly influenced by my utter lack of ability to take a good one πŸ™‚

  8. Love this one, lost a visual stuff sprint to mind., especially with the funeral selfie. You may well have done it already but there’s mileage ( scuse the pun ) in something on sat nav. I used to work with a van driver who relied on a sat nav so much that they said that as his coffin would be lowered into his grave one would here the words: ” You have now reached your final destination ” ( No doubt somewhat muffled )

    • Yes, really loved your comic as well. I actually did do a post a while back called WTF GPS, but to have ended it with the line “You have now reached your final destination” would have been priceless and may well make the whole idea eligible for a revisit!

  9. This is so funny, especially a self with group of mourners! Did you hear they had to close a ride at one of the Disney parks and will from now on Ban those extended arm selfish cameras, Marissa? πŸ™‚

  10. This world has gone crazy, right? I saw these sticks when I went to Niagara Falls and I had NO clue what they were. Selfie sticks? Really? Do people not have better things to do then to photograph themselves? GREAT poem again, Marissa!! LOL Thank you! Love, Amy ❀

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